Hi there,

This is me...

Don't worry, nothing's wrong with your monitor. The idea is to prevent small children from running away screaming their heads off at the sight - hence the "artistic filters". Probably at a later stage, after a series of preliminary tests on selected volunteers, I will get an FDA permit to remove the filters; i.e. after having proved no permanent damage to human, animal or plant life. So please, bear for now with me and my art nouveau head. As for the rest of the story - I will do it the easy way and plagiate myself. Having written already, as part of a book promotion exercise, a short "author's description" of myself, I will simply copy and paste here a few slices of it. Of course most of the bla is about the book and not about the author, after all also this site came to life as a (to start with, at least) PR window for this book of mine. But don't worry, or do so if you insist, I do have all the intentions in the world to develop it further into a more neutral direction. Unless if someone decides to throw me in jail for badmouthing some unsavoury characters, or give me a Pulitzer for same... And, yes - if you're curious about additional details, like the size of my shoes or similar, all you have to do is either mail me or contact the local CIA representative. So...

My real name is actually Ioji, and where I originally come from, the Far-East (of Europe, i.e. Romania), it’s not as uncommon as that. However, after moving on at the unripe age of 13 to the Middle-East (of Asia, i.e. Israel), some funny local official decided my name sounded too funny and re-baptised me (lucky he didn’t re-circumcise me) into the non funny sounding Joseph. Which, with the only other Joseph known me at that stage in my life being Joseph Stalin, wasn’t really funny at all in my eyes. Therefore I moved very fast into the realm of assorted nicknames and the native version of my Joseph being Yossi so Yossi it was. I won’t bore you with stories of my childhood, my hoodloomhood, my studenthood, my lovelifehood and the rest of the hoods. I won’t even tell you about my dogs and their hoods. It just so happened that at a certain stage in my life I suddenly woke up with a BSc in Electronic Engineering, a wife, two kids, and an insatiable desire for writing. But as all of you millions of seasoned readers of this note ("...optimistic the bastard, isn’t he...") out there know, it’s only the Stephen King’s of this world that have a right to quench this thirst. The rest of us have the unalienable right to queue up and wait. So I queued up and waited (I was number 223,451,093 - today there are an additional few billions following me which doesn’t bother me except for those that barge straight in the front). With absolutely no chance of reaching the ticket distribution window before I wither of old age and die I decided for a sideways move and let’s go self-publishing. You think that the bible scribes had a publisher? And look where they are. So let’s go and self-scribe. Ok, ok, enough of this book propaganda, let's go for some less artistic facts. Well, with the university degree in my hand I could choose to go several ways - commercial, managerial, educational... It so happened that I went a completely different way - I discovered, more or less by accident, that I have an incredible sense for technical troubleshooting. A real talent. Give me a problem, any problem on any machine, if I know the machine or not it doesn’t really matter, and either by myself or by working with someone that knows the machine perfectly but doesn’t know to solve the problem I would find the solution in 100% of the cases. And this is the job I was hired to do in Scitex, the company which is the subject of my book (book again??? you cannot stop, can you?...). And which sent me to Europe to do this job. It started as it always does - with a bang, enthusiasm, falling in love with the job, with the company, striving to improve. Then follows the growth period, you growing in importance, in achievements, the company growing in size, in power. Then there are some ups and downs but nobody gives up, all united in preserving the achievements, advancing further, and further. And then one day Nero pops on the scene, lights a match, and pooof - Rome is up in flames. The organization tumbles, the horses run away, and a few of the falling stones hit you on the head. And you die. Wondering with genuine incomprehension - how the hell did it come to that. Which is the long and short of my life in Scitex, and actually of most of my professional life, full point. The present? Life goes on. At a certain stage and age one just joins the stream, because there is unfortunately not enough time depth left to do it all again. Which I would if I could yet I can’t. I joined another similar company, I work in a similar job, I act in a similar way - it is all so similar. But it is only similar. It is not the same. And as I say at a certain stage in my book - Don Quixote is dead, long live Sancho Panza. **************************** This short about me was written about the time this site was created, Z (for Zillion) years ago, and hardly updated. Better said - not updated and there is no intent to update it further than what you presently see. I did write, since, Z (for Zillion again, what else) books for my own and hopefully other people's pleasure, I did change several more work places which you can find in the work section, I even retired recently but... keep working, lolol. Workhorse Yossi, the true me. But maintaining even a short bio up to date is something I am not built for, therefore this lame excuse instead. Sorry, friends, hope you accept it.

...and this is still me, but some 30 years later!

...this is how a writing draft of mine looks like...

Some drops of wisdom on the sensitive subject of age Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them. ~Anna Magnani By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong. ~Charles Wadsworth You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. ~George Burns And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. ~Abraham Lincoln Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better! ~Ingrid Bergman Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. ~Daniel Francois Esprit Auber As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. ~Norman Wisdom A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~John Barrymore Youth is the time to study wisdom; old age is the time to practice it. ~Jean-Baptiste Rousseau With age comes wisdom; but sometimes age comes alone. ~Oscar Wilde The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. ~Mark Twain It's not catastrophes, murders, deaths, diseases, that age and kill us; it's the way people look and laugh, and run up the steps of omnibuses. ~Virginia Wolf You're never too old to become younger. ~Mae West

My Billboard Nobody gives a damn (not to say a shit) about my likes or dislikes. This is clear. Yet, I feel that while this site is alive (not for long, soon I’ll not be alive and then...) such information belongs out there together with the rest of the info about me, interesting or not. Who knows, in several hundreds years when I will become a respectable (dead) public figure, someone might find interest in it, so hereby they are partially served. So who/what are my personal likes/loves/preferences in various daily aspects of life? I will try to point some of these out, with the inevitable oops! and corrections to follow later, and unforgivable omissions too, partly intentional and partly unintentional (I will do my best to minimize these occurrences). Let’s start. The most beautiful woman. Inevitably, more than one and inevitably very subjective. ... Elizabeth Taylor, Farrah Fawcett, Linda Carter. I carry also a heart throb for Kim Bassinger and Candice Bergen and, of course, I remember all of them when they were still young. Also a very little known Erin Gray. “My” childhood’s Tereza would have been there up front as well, but I did not see her beyond her thirteen years of age... she probably got even more beautiful than any woman ever had the right to be... The most handsome man. Also more than one and also very subjective, especially seen that I am a man myself... ...Kirk Douglas, Rock Hudson, Tony Curtis, Paul Newman. None of the present, sorry. The best actress. Based on what? My opinion... ... Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Shirley MacLaine. Have a weak spot for Jane Fonda, Faye Dunaway, Barbra Streisand, Liza Minelli. The sexiest actress. No competition here... ...Marilyn Monroe. Though I would place Liza Minnelli not far behind. The best actor. Oh, my choice here is quite large, I will limit myself... ...Kirk Douglas, Marlon Brando, James Dean, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Paul Newman, Richard Burton.... Many soft spots, the likes of Jack Lemmon, Anthony Quinn, Charles Laughton. The best playwright. Doubtlessly... ...William Shakespeare. Also Molière, Carlo Goldoni. The best singer, male. Sorry, stuck with the one and only... ...Elvis Presley. Though I love Leonard Cohen, Frank Sinatra, carry soft spots for Sammy Davis Jr. and Vladimir Vysotsky, and I’m kind of crazy about Jacques Brel. Oh, also Mario Lanza - yeah, opera... The best singer, female. Love many, crazy about none... ...Barbra Streisand, Connie Francis, Brenda Lee, Montserrat Caballé. None of the modern divas, sorry... The best singer, group. And at my top one finds... ...The Rolling Stones, oh, yeah. Some followers are Slade, Status Quo, Il Volo and the classic The Brothers Four... The best movie, all categories. Oh, very debatable and wide open, I will mark just a few very special ones... ...Paths of Glory, Doctor Strangelove, One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Godfather, Soldier Blue, Dances with Wolves, East of Eden, The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, Fortunat... The best comedy. Large choice, I will stay with... ...Modern Times, The Dictator, To Be or Not to Be, The Wrong Box, La Grande Vadrouille, The Russians Are Coming The Russians Are Coming... The best romantic movie. Probably more than just... ...Sayonara, Somewhere in Time, Notting Hill, Brief Encounter, Elvira Madigan, Romeo and Juliet (1968)... The best musical. I love musicals, generally, but if I have to choose I will place up front... ...Dancing in the Rain and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, followed closely by Cabaret and Funny Girl, Paint Your Wagon great as well, Anchors Aweigh, On the Town... The best war movie. A mix of kinds... ...Von Ryan’s Express, The Devil’s Brigade, Internees of Kampili, La Vita è Bella... The best crime movie. Various... ...Stakeout, Lethal Weapon, The Godfather, Wise Guys... The best sci-fi movie. While I’m a sucker for great effects, I am a greater sucker for a great scenario. Thus... ...The Andromeda Strain, 2001 A Space Odyssey, The Time Machine (1960), Short Circuit... The best animal movie. A sucker for any and all, with a large advance for... ...Old Yellow, followed by K-9, Babe and then a long series of movies such as Hidalgo, The Electric Horseman, Benji... The best wild movie... A mixed few... ...Jeremiah Johnson, The Savage Innocents, The Gods Must Be Crazy, Dances with Wolves, The Emerald Forest... The best adventure movie. A few, like... ...Indiana Jones, Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959), Swiss Family Robinson (1960), Ulysses (1954)... The best sport/competition movie. I do not like sport movies that are too “forced”. Here, I would like to lead with... ...Breaking Away. Then probably Champion (1949), Rollerball (1975, sci-fi)... The best cartoon. Sorry all, I am in love with the “old” Disney world, led by... ...The Jungle Book. Closely followed by Cinderella, The Fox and the Hound, 101 Dalmatians, Aristocats... Also in love with the Pluto character... The best film director. I know what I like... ...Billy Wilder. Fritz Lang. Stanley Kubrick... The best comedy actor. Again, stuck in the past with... ...Laurel and Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, Norman Wisdom, Bourvil, Fernandel, Peter Sellers... The best dancer, male or female. I think there is no competition to... ...Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Ginger Rogers... The best poetry. Sorry (another one) but I am stuck with my childhood poetry, in Romanian... ...Mihai Eminescu. I love though to snatch from time to time a Walt Whitman, a Pablo Neruda, an Edgar Allan Poe... The best painting. A sample few that I do NOT own... ...Vase With 12 Sunflowers – VanGogh. Cappella Sistina – Michelangelo Buonarroti. Guernica – Pablo Picasso. The persistence of memory – Salvador Dali... The best sculpture. A sample few... ...David - Michelangelo Buonarroti. The Thinker – Auguste Rodin. The Kiss – Auguste Rodin... The best music album (LP). Best in... personal taste... ...Elvis Recorded Live on Stage in Memphis – Elvis Presley. The Race – Yelo. Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War of the Worlds - Jeff Wayne. And more... The best single (45). Again, personal taste... ...Dueling Banjos - Eric Weissberg and Steve Mandell. Getting Straight – P.K. Limited. Gimme Dat Ding – The Pipkins. And more... The best song (from millions). And personal taste strikes again... ...Little Sister – Elvis Presley. The Green Leaves of Summer – The Brothers Four. Vita Mia – Tony Del Monaco. Ne me quitte pas – Jacques Brel. Avec le temps – Léo Ferré And many more... The best classical music. From so many, from so many executions... ...Carl Orff – Carmina Burana, O Fortuna. Maurice Ravel – Boléro. Richard Strauss – Also Sprach Zarathustra. Gaetano Donizetti – L’Elisir d’Amore, Una Furtiva Lagrima. Ruggero Leoncavallo – Pagliacci, Vesti la Giubba. And more... Special pieces/executions, best in kind. Personal selection, of course... ...Spente le Stele – Emma Chaplin. Nessun Dorma – Laura Bretan. Malade – Elena Hasna. Duetto di Due Gatti – Montserrat Caballé and Concha Velasco. Koni Priveredlivye – Vladimir Vysotsky... Best physicist. Doubtlessly the one with the simplest and most elegant formula... ...Albert Einstein and his E=mc2. Followed by a range of illustrious names such as Isaac Newton, James Clerk Maxwell, Erwin Schrödinger, Galileo Galilei... and more... Best mathematician. Doubtlessly the one with the simplest and most elegant formula... ...Leonhard Euler and his eiπ+1=0. Followed by a range of illustrious names such as Carl Friedrich Gauss, Bernhard Riemann, Isaac Newton, Pythagoras, Grigori Perelman, René Descartes... and more... Best books, writers. I ain’t a great reader, lately. But I have my preferences in various aspects... ...Youth books are The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, The Boys of Paul Street - Ferenc Molnár, Cuore - Edmondo De Amicis, The Call of the Wild and White Fang - Jack London, The Wizard of Oz – L. Frank Baum. Grown up books are Tevie the Milkman – Sholem Alechem, Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes, War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy, Plague Dogs – Richard Adams. Modern era authors that I enjoy reading are Leslie Charteris (crime, the Saint, witty), Donald Hamilton (spying, Matt Helm, realistic), Isaac Asimov (sci-fi), Arthur C. Clarke (sci-fi). Best TV series. Let’s highlight... ...Happy Days, All in the Family, Quantum Leap, Lucifer, Castle, Fawlty Towers. Special kudos to... Komissar Rex in all its various interpretations – Austrian, Italian, Canadian, this dog is adorable.