Symbiosis... Nestling against me like a thick layer of melting ice cream, Soft, sticky, sweet, Binding me in thin crystalline fibers So beautiful, intricate, Fragile. Grazing against me like a wars wary steel brushes colony, Rough, coarse, abrasive, Biting through my skin into my blood So bitterly, demanding, Frightened. Pouring all over me like road ready black bubbling tar, Hot, steamy, consuming, Peeling off layers of the disturbing cage Hiding the heart, touching, Afraid to kill. Cutting right through me like a well oiled well balanced harpoon, Sharp, powerful, deadly, Cutting off the spine in two Unwillingly, trying to mend, Hopelessly. Lifting me up like an army of wingless sightless butterflies Eager in their thirst for the colors of the setting yawning sun, Enveloping me like a rain of stemless scentless petals Eager in their hunger for the fire of the rising singing sun, Hiding me in transparencies like a memory of soundless rhymeless melodies Eager in their desire to praise the pouring passion of the scorching engulfing sun. Loving me, Like a wingless, sightless butterfly, Like a stemless, scentless petal, Like a soundless, rhymeless melody, Mistaking me for the sun, I, but a man...

• back to list   • back   • next

I Feel You... I feel you, woman, I feel you the way you felt your child burst into this world Ripping your insides, Tearing your outer shell with involuntary need Forcing its way into the world its scream mixing with yours, Terrible pain, terrible love, so close to death and so close to heaven, Is pain, love, death, heaven... one? I feel you, woman, I feel you the way you felt your child looking at this world through your eyes Clutching desperately at your breast in insatiable hunger, Your nipples hurting With boiling tears in your eyes witnessing your joy not your hurt, Terrible pain, terrible love, such raging life and such raging hunger, Is pain, love, life, hunger... one? I feel you, woman, I feel you the way you felt your child grasping a lock of your hair Searching for your protection, Pulling savagely Its primitive fear calmed only by the loud thunder inside your chest, Terrible pain, terrible love, awesome need and awesome urge, Is pain, love, need, urge... one? I feel you, woman, I feel you the way I feel my child, Pain, love, death, heaven, life, hunger, need, urge... Lay in my arms, woman, softly go to sleep, Safe, secure, serene, You are safe in my arms, woman, Like your child was in yours, Like my child in mine.

• back to list   • back   • next

The Bananas Republic Kitsch... I don't care if noble critics Streaming out respected schools Do decide my humble lyrics Break much sacred lofty rules, True, they own the wooden dollars Thus they think they own the art Knowing not the cruel pleasures Tied to owning woman's heart. If my modest storytelling, So they think, is worthless waste, And they skip my fameless calling In a mindless skimming haste, True, they own the blinding spotlight Thus they think they own the muse Never owning lust as, wildly, Crumbles woman's last refuse. Yes, my words I dip in honey Or I dress in angry thorn As they mark with sharpened pencils Their deep disgusted scorn, True, they own the shallow glory Thus they think they own control, Pitiful, they'll never conquer Depths unknown of woman's soul. With my humble crazy lyrics, With my modest story tell, With my angry thorn or honey Painting heaven, painting hell, I'm a fearful conquistador, What you think... don't give a damn, I will praise my woman's glory - I love you. All else is spam.

• back to list   • back   • next

Visions Four... Night. Comfortable darkness surrounds me. I close my eyes allowing myself perfect vision, Penetrating. I float around seeing, unseen, Lifting corners of walls and peeking into houses - Laughter, blinking lights, crystal clinking in well wishing toasts, Hugs, kisses... I float around, house after house, table after table, World after world... Wait! I shout suddenly, As unexpectedly my heart storms out of chest Splashes against a concrete wall and tries desperately to cling to it, To break through it Veins whipping wildly Blood spluttering like rivers gone berserk, Wait! I shout, Wait... I whisper, Wait, I think, as my mind takes control And calms its beat, slows its rush, lets it return to its protected cage Where it lays down in wait again, Undisturbed sleep slowly re-conquering its hidden recesses, Knowing, believing, Trusting... My eyes have seen it too, The shy, secret, misread smile, As she has seen unseen me And that unspoken promise flowed from her lips to my blind eyes Where all could see But none could find, And none could guess And none could know, None... but my heart...

• back to list   • back   • next

Nobodies... Nobody needs you more than I do. Nobody. Nobody gets as little of you as I do. Nobody. Nobody asks less of you than I do. Nobody. While the days crawl to the ocean Like a poisoned lazy potion Sinking dregs of wild desire In the sun to sunset mire, While the buzz of life is churning Like a biting fire burning Forests sown wild craving wishes Off the face of crummy dishes, While the nights limp into nether Like a yarn of dying heather Scented wild demented passion Crumbling lights to hellish ashen... Nobody has more of you than I do. Nobody.

• back to list   • back   • next

As You Lay... As you lay in blinding sunshine Shreds of cloth hugging your thighs Helpless witnesses to passion Burning paths through heaven's vice, Mangled ribbons laced with satin Shapeless bundles rolling 'way From a pallid breast's surrender To a hungry mouth of prey... As you lay on pebbles mattress Fangs of stone branding your back And with thousand rugged edges Yielding flesh to pieces hack, Depths of chest a storm arising Gaping mouth a song of screams Body trashing as the fire Through the veins demented streams... As you lay in naked glory Glowing softly eye to bone Fingers soft as rose's petals Crushing fingers hard as stone, Wounded lips asking forgiveness For one whisper gone astray Riding wings of thunder rolling Lonely word... lone whisper... Stay!...

• back to list   • back   • next

Masterpiece... I bought a bouquet of flowers, I tried to make a drawing of love with flowers, There were not enough flowers in my bouquet. I started pulling off the petals, One by one, slowly, First the red, then the red, then the rest of the red ones, I tried to make a drawing of love with petals, There were many more petals than flowers, There were not enough petals in my flowers. I added the leaves, the stems, The curly wrapping ribbon, I cut the colored wrapping paper to pieces and added it to the pile, I tried to make a drawing of love with all of them, There were not enough petals, leaves, ribbons, shreds of colored paper, Then the wind came and tore away most of the petals, And the paper, and leaves, I felt like crying. I cut open my chest, I tried to make a drawing of love with blood drops, There were many blood drops in my chest, More than petals, more than flowers, more than bouquets, I think I saw it taking shape, form, color, So many colors competing with each other... red, and red, and red, I rushed away and bought more bouquets, more flowers, more petals, The drops falling and completing the drawing as I stumbled, The wind strewing my freshly acquired treasures into my creation, I saw the drawing of love getting stronger, thicker, starting to move, To dance... As paleness was getting hold of my face, of my lips, of my chest... It was a masterpiece, a monument, The sun gliding into it as into a newly found horizon, Birds nesting around it as into a rhymes laden poem, Waves crushing against it as into an unborn spring day, I gloated while I slid to the ground, The last touches to my work of art My last drops splashing mutely into their brothers... While my eyes closed and I couldn't see it, as it came to life I died...

• back to list   • back   • next

Gold... You cut your hair short... That golden cascade thundering down to your shoulders, Thousands of golden streams Undulating in the slightest breeze, At the slightest nod of your head, Rolling in conquering embrace time and again Once your head rolls slightly on your pillow, Gleams, hidden in the dark, Blinding in the sun, Gold, You cut your hair short... A golden crop Mindlessly swept off the floor Into the mindless final darkness of a garbage can, Awaiting oblivion in the mouth of a mindless hot furnace, Threads of you, Lost to the world, Lost to me. You cut your hair short, And gold wildly sparkles in your eyes...

• back to list   • back   • next

Tunes Seven... You'll never know how much, You know? You'll never know how much... You'll never guess how wild, You know? You'll never guess how wild... I'll never know the touch, I know, I'll never know the touch... I'll never guess you smiled, I know, I'll never guess... you smiled? * Slowly turns, The morn to evening as my reason Slowly burns, Slowly scorns The world of wisdom as my heartbeat Slowly mourns, Slowly wakes My hot desire as my daydream Slowly breaks, Slowly flies The thought through deserts as the stardust Slowly dies... * Am I a king And you my queen, Or a pathetic harlequin? Is this a star Your evermore, Or just a lost and empty shore? Did countless words Light up your sun, Or slowly died till there was none? Is it today You come my nest, Or time has come to rip my chest? * Not a woman, but the woman, Not a lady, but the one, Not some girl, the one and only, Not a spark, the mighty sun, Through the night - the guiding starlight, Through the day - the guiding brawn, Through the year - the guiding wisdom Trough the life - the guiding dawn, When my hand she's gently holding, When my brow she'll gently touch, When my tear she's gently wiping, When my heart she'll gently clutch, I will lay my head on bosom, I will hear the heartbeat sing, I will close my eye in wonder, I will live eternal spring. * You asked me - it's my body? You asked me - it's my youth? You asked me - it's my fire Which burns from top to root? You asked me - it's my promise? You asked me - it's my charm? You asked me - it's my magic Which keeps away all harm? You asked me - it's my laughter? You asked me - it's my gold? You asked me - it's my passion Which breathes new life in old? You asked me - it's my courage? You asked me - it's my soul? You asked me - it's my power Which melts the northern pole? I answered - not your body. I answered - not your youth. I answered - not your fire Which burns from top to root. I answered - not your promise. I answered - not your charm. I answered - not your magic Which keeps away all harm. I answered - not your laughter. I answered - not your gold. I answered - not your passion Which breathes new life in old. I answered - not your courage. I answered - not your soul. I answered - not your power Which melts the northern pole. I answered - you're mistaken. I answered - all is true. I answered - all I want is Just one. And only. You!

• back to list   • back   • next

Dreaming Of... I moved my fingertips along your bare, bony spine, Slowly, softly, slowly, Your skin the smoothness of silk strewn with coarse grains of salt, Responding to the urge, skinning my fingertips, Your eyelids closed, Your eyes fluttering underneath Dreaming of smooth skin strewn coarse grains of salt Prey to demanding fingertips... I took you in my arms, one sweeping move, Softly, carefully, softly, You weighed less than an armful of dry leaves on a dry autumn day, No rustle, barely the breeze of your breath, Your eyelids closed, Your eyes fluttering underneath Dreaming of dry autumn leaves on a dry autumn day Gently swaying in the wind... I rolled your body in a huge, thick towel, Carefully, painstakingly, carefully, The grace of your shapes lost in the imprisoning folds clinging to every round corner, Your fingers searching for the anchor of my hand, Your eyelids closed, Your eyes fluttering underneath Dreaming of the soft prison of my hand Acting anchor to the roundness of your shapes... I painted your toenail pink, one toenail, Painstakingly, slowly, painstakingly, Feeling like Michelangelo putting the last touches to the creation scene On the ceiling of the Cappella Sistina, making sure it is perfect, absolute, Your eyelids closed, Your eyes fluttering underneath Dreaming of a bed of roses Under the heavenly Cappella Sistina skies... Dreaming? Does a masterpiece dream?

• back to list   • back   • next

Virgin... Beauty, beauty, beauty wild...         Book a thousand pages deep         Shed your letters down a heap         Like a virgin white of body         From a past all crude and shoddy         Shamelessly your thousand pages         Open to my rhyming rages         Your lost secrets let me fire         With a spark of burning lyre         Your tomorrows' chapters' story         Let me fill with dreamers' glory         Your desires' hidden thunder         Let me touch then let me plunder         And before the day has passed         I'll rewrite this chapter... last... Beauty, beauty, beauty wild Be my love then be my child... Tender, tender, tender art...         Sky of endless silken thread         Shed your stars like molten lead         Like a virgin's naked offer         Lost the depths of rotten coffer         Hungrily your endless haven         With my passion make be graven         Your horizons let me kindle         Sun's old heritage to swindle         Your abysmal purgatory         Let me turn a dazzling quarry         Your desires fierce and savage         Let me rape then let me ravage         And before the night is done         I'll remaster skies... and sun... Tender, tender, tender art... Be my love then rive my heart...

• back to list   • back   • next

Ignoramus... You told me the world is round. I smiled, I knew you were joking. I mean - everybody knows the world is flat, Proven even by Columbus, He wanted to go to India and reached America, didn't he? What more proof is needed? It is flat, Carried by four huge elephants, Standing atop a huge turtle... I just keep wondering - what is the turtle standing atop of?... You told me the earth rotates around the sun, Ha, you almost got me laughing again there, You are funny, you know? We both know and everybody else does That the sun rises in the east and sets in the west So clearly proving the fact it rotates around the earth, Just imagine the earth rotating - The elephants would fall off from atop the turtle, Isn't it clear? (I still wonder what is this turtle standing on...) You told me the stars are all little suns When all the newspapers write about the cold nights, This time you really got me rolling with laughter, One of the greatest jokes I ever heard, Wait till I tell it to my colleagues, It is a known fact these are all Russian spy cameras Taking flash pictures of our secrets, If they were all suns it would be so hot That the elephants would run away And the earth would fall on the turtle's back, Maybe even breaking... (Could it be that the turtle is flying?) You told me you love me. You got me there, I think I am missing something, Ain't I? (I think I will stop thinking about turtles for a while...)

• back to list   • back   • next

Nevers... I never waltzed with you, I never will, That artful skill Of ballroom drill, That gentle grip, That swaying hip, That fingers' clasp, That breathless gasp As round and round On sparkling sound Through dazzling shapes Your mind escapes, Your giving breast Against my chest, Your promise warm Against my storm, Your eyewink's bait Against my wait... I never did, I never will, And master time's sandglass will fill And now's too late. I never asked the question, never will, That awkward feel Of world unreal, That soft regard, That clumsy bard, That pleading word, That frightened bird As whispers freeze On silent breeze Through misty eyes Your rapture flies, Your hand to rest Against my chest, Your bliss to form Against my storm, Your 'yes' to mate Against my wait... I never did, I never will, And master time's unflinching chill My dream will bate. I never touched you first, I never will, That mighty thrill From head to heel, That tender sigh, That first time cry, That loving knife, That budding life As bodies blend On dreams no end Through streaming light Your soul's delight, Your heartbeat's nest Against my chest, Your smiles' thick swarm Against my storm, Your blissful fate Against my wait... I never did, I never will, And master time has made his kill And closed the gate. Yet, I know, the day will come Master time one single crumb Will drop mindlessly my way, Wild and stray, In my fist I'll grow the seed Be it flower be it weed, Till the stem will grow to trunk, Wild and drunk, In its shade to carve a dwell, Cutting thirst to never quell, Bleeding hands to build a floor, Wild and sore, From your cage of golden dust With a roar of raging lust You to ravish and to rob, Wild the sob, In my arms like lost a child Spellbound, smiling and beguiled We will dance the waltz at last, Wild the blast, I will ask the question - 'You?...' You will answer - 'Yes I do...' We will touch and we will burn, Wild the yearn... Morning come, the dawning rust Turns the crumb to fading dust, Slowly locks a golden cage, Slowly dies an early rage, In my seed, my trunk, my dwell I will shed my angry shell, Roll myself in sheets of night, Fading reason, fading light, In my dreamless nowhere grime Waiting for next waking chime... Crumb of time...

• back to list   • back   • next

Senses... Your skin caressed my fingertips, You moved it slowly, Testing each fingerprint line, Each circle, Reopening each tiny scar and tasting the blood rivulets, Testing the strength of each fingernail, Of each finger, Of the palm as it cupped handfuls of skin and tried to break its surface... Your body curves regarded my eyesight, You undressed it slowly, Watching the irises contracting as the whiteness hit them Moving the soft shapes in and out the eyes field of vision All the time watching the flurry of the eyelids, Tasting the salt traces purging the depths of the dark lakes And flowing down the stained cheeks Till they hit the sizzling heights of the strawberry tipped mounds of flesh... Your sighs listened to my hearing, You moaned slowly, Softly, Listening to the eardrums straining in their effort to catch up with the chimes, Trying their sensitivity to tiny convulsions of tongue, Of throaty purrs, Playing with their imagination and watching intently my body reacting, Tiny sounds, words, single notes, Straining to hear if the random events cumulate to one single glorious melody... Your body cells absorbing my effort to sense you, Absorbing my nostrils' widening move, Tickling the tiny hair roots with devastating fragrances Scenting their abandon to a despairing need, A search for the overwhelming evidence of lust Driving the absorbing cells into a frenzy of stretching, squirming, yawning, You released your scents slowly, Guarding the secret, Knowing to blend the flowers with the sweat with the setting sun... Your salty skin tasting my lips, my mouth, my tongue, Your sweat pouring slowly, Comparing the taste of my mouth to the taste of your sweetness As earlier eaten cherries transpired into the world through tiny water drops And landed on my upper lip, Slowly running down into my mouth and taking short sips, Mixing my mouth's flavours with yours And ensuring the composition is sweet as no honey can ever be...

• back to list   • back   • next

Arithmetic Of Life... Counting down. Another day. Only x minus one days left. Yesterday it was still x. And the day before even more, Many days before I didn't care at all, I didn't count. Now I count. If I lived on another planet I might have had more days left, But there is no life on another planet, And the time would have been the same Only the counting units different. Do you think there is life on another planet? Do you think there is life on our planet, Our star? Is there anyone on our star except the two of us? No, there is not. No one, no life, no night. Not us. Not there. Counting the days left, Both of us together. I know you know. I know you know I don't count my life, Left to live, left to breathe... No one knows, you do, I know you know. Because I am not alive yet. I am not born. I count the days to my birth. When I conquer our planet, When I conquer our star, When I prove there is life on other planets, When I create life on our planet. Our star. There is. My life. Born through you. I am counting.

• back to list   • back   • next

Rhyming... I like the music of the rhyme, The chiming notes that passing time Is trying hard to sweep and clean Into its endless purging bin         With aging slime. I am aware there's end to words That flock like frightened puny herds In clusters... one to maybe ten You use them once, then use again,         Like chirping birds, Yet, there is too an end to notes, On do to si the music gloats Sublime till mean - its power soars Enforcing peace and driving wars,         If larks if goats. So when one claims that age has gone With Shakespeare, Whitman, Frost, and on, Just think that Bach and Strauss flank An Elvis, Beatles, blue eyes Frank,         Who hearts have won. So let me stick to ways of rhyme And chant my lover's love sublime - She's songs and life... a potpourri, (And any other way would be         Abhorrent crime :)

• back to list   • back   • next

Quiet... Quiet. Like the aftermath of a shot in the desert. This huge, awesome noise you just lived through Reverberating with thousand echoes inside your skull Like in a huge empty cave, This magnificent rumble riding the powers of creation And challenging gods in all its insignificant puniness With its terrifying zest for life... Then quiet. Absolute quiet. And one looks down at one's bleeding belly, Understanding. The bullet passed right through, Playing god angers gods And fire passes right through, cutting, smashing, Crippling... And all that is left is agony Dressed in terrible immortality...

• back to list   • back   • next

Healers... I know the feeling, I recognize its shape, its vigor, I don't recognize its duration. Is time the healer? I know death is master healer, is time death's best apprentice? Words are obsolete, Words are no healer, Words can paint masterpieces for the unseeing eyes of blind people, Create illusionary worlds for the smiling eyes of dreamers, Plant seeds of hope inside desperation's desert... Words are no healer. Music is art, Music is no healer, Music is the canvas to bodies moving in sensual abandon, The universal language to ears of alien birthright and creed, A harmony between beating clocks and beating hearts, Music is no healer. Trust is passion, Trust is no healer, Trust is blindness born out of desire and need, Son to king heart and daughter to queen love Smashing its crystal crown against the steel gates of raging reality, Trust is no healer. Pain. I know the feeling, I recognize its shape, its vigor, I don't recognize its duration. I need the words to paint my eyes, Illusions be my dream's disguise, Inside my desert seeding hope As bleeding senses blindly grope... I need the music's canvas bed, While ears to ears forever wed, And beating clock joins beating heart As bleeding senses blend with art... I need the trust, desire's child, A burning love, a heart beguiled, A crystal crown to dare the steel As bleeding senses healing will... The pain. If words, if music, trust May heal the pain to fading dust... And if there's none... there still be time... Or last... the master... death's sweet chime.

• back to list   • back   • next

Let There Be Light!... Let there be light!... his whisper thundered, And darkness bear yet unborn sin, Let there be life!... his thunder whispered, And death be life's eternal twin. Let there be light!... her whisper caressed, And darkness bear my unborn dream, Let there be life!... her caress whispered, And death fear life's unyielding stream. Let there be man!... his whisper thundered, With blood, with sweat his bread to eat, Let there be woman!... his thunder whispered, With sweat, with pain each day to meet. Let there be man!... her whisper caressed, His blood I'll care, his sweat I'll dry, Let there be woman!... her caress whispered, To share his toils till I shall die.

• back to list   • back   • next

The Things I Miss, The Things I Miss... The little things, like brushing teeth, Like slapping sounds of running feet Across the barren cold tiles floor Dispensing kisses at the door... The little things, like catching flu, Like drying mud on one left shoe After a stroll across the park And rushing home before the dark... The tiger wild clawing me wreck Then kitty soft licking my neck, The elbow stuck into my side And gentle snore turning to tide... The morning feast of three fried eggs, The female rite of shaving legs, The shiny eyes when movies old Squeeze tight a heart of liquid gold... The intimate and gentle pat As rounded curves against me splat, The "...bye, I'm late", the hasty kiss, The things I miss, the things I miss...

• back to list   • back   • next

Message... Sitting in front of an empty sheet of paper, Head leaning on left hand's heel, Eyes closed, Following the scenery rushing madly in front of my mind In a vain effort to decipher the coded message written in there, Message? White noise? Forgotten desires?... Soft music in the background, An oldie's station, Once I was dancing to these sounds Changing partners, changing allegiances, Depth of reason masked by shallowness of youthful craves Mistakenly understood as flaring romance, I see shapes in the message, Changing faces, sharp movements, laughter, Do I recognize you, others, I cringe in fear, are these reality's sons or tired imagination's daughters, Passionate laughter or only a TV blindly blaring in the background Mocking my humanity with its electronic superiority, Is there dance in the message? A dog's ear tickles my big toe, Asleep close to my leg, running in his sleep, chasing the bad guys Or chasing the good bitches, I caress his wet nose absent mindedly, I see caresses in the message, Hands following shapes, shapes giving in to hands, Shapes merging with shapes merging with shapes merging with shapes, Do I recognize you, others, Do I see past events through a malevolent warp in time Or formless smears on the fabric of my mind Painted there by my malign heart, Is there caress in the message? A chocolate tablet melts in my mouth Oozing its brown velvet like the kiss of a black beautiful maiden Around my tongue, dripping from the corner of my mouth Staining indecently the white immaculate paper with an irregular splash shape, A mixture of forgotten and unknown kiss tastes invades my senses Wrecking havoc in the lands of my serenity And playing shadows of touching mouths On the fluttering screens of my eyelids, Shadows, whose shadows, Do I recognize you, others, Are these shadows or falling leaves from last year's autumn Finally finding their way home to earth, Is there kiss in the message? Sitting in front of a dark sheet of paper, Black with words upon words upon words, Forehead in the nook of my bent arm, Eyes closed, Deciphering the message as the scenery never rests, Finding the answers, one answer, All the answers... Dance, there is only dance in the message, The dance I never had while rolling and reeling and holding, While listening to the smooth sounds oiling my inner workings And thinking I am... Caress, there is only caress in the message, The caress I never had while hands were touching, While bodies quashed their passions in a sea of quiet sweat And thinking I am... Kiss, there is only kiss in the message, The kiss I never had while lips pressed to lips, While looking for the softness of the abandon in the reality of the knowledge And thinking I am... Dance, much dance, and tender caresses, and burning kisses Swooping down on my mind like a falcon's sharp descent And forcing me to open my eyes, to see the message, To absorb its sudden crystal clear meaning cutting sharply through my brain And impaling my senses on the sharp end of final realization - There is love there, senseless, meaningless, bottomless love, In her dance, In her caress, In the scorching wildness of her killing kiss, In the cipher of her message... She smiles... About time you understand, she says, And she smiles...

• back to list   • back   • next

Holy Cheat... (Somewhere up Olympus' top There's a school for godly flop, Those who fail the entry test [Top positions go to best] Get a second chance, although It's for lower jobs, you know, Jobs like 'God Of Fallen Trees', 'God Of Stones' or 'God Of Cheese', 'Goddess Of The Income Tax', Or the worst - the 'God Of Lax', That's where our story goes With one teacher's painful throes Helping such a mishap case Join the masters of all race, You know 'zilla'? yes, the 'god', He's the one who brought in toad, Recommended [he claims] high From Palermo to Shanghai, Now it's lesson forty six, Toad still doesn't get the tricks, And his teacher's present feat Is to teach him 'Holy Cheat'.) Shall we start with number one? Number one? Of course. The sun Who his sweetheart day has wed Yet with night he goes to bed... Number two... There's two? Of course, And it's getting mighty worse, Number two - the sea... What sea? Red, or Black, or Galilee, While their bed they share with creep It's up shores they daily leap... Oh, I get it... No, you don't, Number three - who's there up front? Ah, I see, the hurricane With his trendy flying mane Though he's wearing cyclone's crown, Shapely trees he's knocking down... Number four... that human chap... Chap? What chap? What is this crap? Hey there, master, wait a sec, You just talk like me... What heck?... Listen here you momless son, I'm the one and only one That can joke and curse here, see, Jury, judge, and referee. So shuddup and listen on Or you won't get that bonbon. Number five - the lava stream Claims to love her husband's steam, Yet when hubby, Vulcan, he Coughs his stinking black debris She, hot lady, plays her tricks, All the shapes around she licks... Master... What? May I?... I may?... Stop your stutter piece of clay, Speak your mind cuz, far 's I know Grown up you will never grow... Oh, my goodness, even I Stutter like I'm 'bout to die... You’re my punishment, my chore... Master... Yes! You've missed the 'four'... Grrrr... (and) Grrrr... (then) Grrrr (again) (Master teacher grrrr's in pain, Why of all the candidates Knocking at his skyline's gates He received this losing blimp Wishy washy yellow wimp Who will never graduate At the present teaching rate From his present state of toad To a goddess, or a god... But, on other hand, who cares, Health insurance's good, and there's This forgotten piece of cloud Where the thunder's not so loud And when due for pension time He will get for twenty dime...) Number four - the snow. What snow? Snow, like white, like cold... you know... Oh, the one in that small box?... You know what? You are an ox! For a god of second rang Mastering the Yin and Yang, You're as dumb as my left shoe, What in skies I'll do with you, You spent too much time on earth, Oh, my heavens, does that hurt... Where's my pill?... Oh, Higher One, Why did I deserve this one? OK, let's just study on, Could you move two mountains yon?... Snow... the white, the clean, the pure, Winter's woman, yet demure Her soft curves she wraps around Every sticking shape or mound. Number five... Hey master... Yes?... Let me see if I can guess, Number five that human chap... What? Again? I need my nap... We should be at number six Talking about long legged chicks, About boobs without the traps, About hair that flips and flaps... Master dear... Yes, piece of hell... I don't think you feel too well, Cuz, you see, that boobies things, And the hair, and legs - not wings, Is the humans' hellish load, You a master, I a toad Know that our share's the best... Listen here you dumbness' nest, There's a woman, What a woman, She's a flower Springtime's shower, Mouth a prison Cherry risen, Laughter fountain From a mountain, Ears two seashells, Eyes twin bluebells, Breasts soft skyline Round a sunshine, Body narrow Shapely sparrow, Joy unending Sorrows mending, In her foot wake Buds to life break, At her calling Blue stars falling, In her shadow Golden meadow, In her heart, oh, in her heart, Wish I was that silver dart... Allo, master... Pronto... Home? What's this nonsense up your dome When you've taught me from the start Not to trust their cheatin' heart, Goddess snow, and goddess sea, Godly sun, and godly... me :) Hey, I'll get there, that you know You're too good a teacher... though Tell me truly - would be worth Swap eternity with... dirt? Listen toad, and if you quote What I say - in hell you rot!!! For one kiss, one moment's fear, For one woman's touch, one tear My eternity I'd sell And with you I'd rot in hell.

• back to list   • back   • next

Till We Meet Again... Your toe in my mouth, My north to your south, The bed sheet in tatters a world war away, I begged you to come, you prayed me to stay, As through tears, and through blood, and blinding hot pain We clash, then again... Then again... Then again... Your nail in my chest, My mouth to your breast, The silk torn to ribbons three eons ago, I knew I should stay, you knew I should go, As mindless of guilt, and of shame, and of pride We madly collide... Then collide... Then collide... Your hand in my fist, My mind clears the beast, The bones smashed to slivers for evers to come, From madness to reason two bodies succumb, As ravenous hunger cleaves slices of heart We hush and we part... Then we part... Then we part... * As night through the shadows drags slices of time, Hind eyelids... ripe fires sweet memories mime, Hot smoldering visions count heartbeats aloud, Wild raving desire waits curled in its shroud, Misleading the quiet, the storm building up The last drop of passion is flooding the cup... It's time... yes, again, heaven's hell we descend. We clash. We collide. And we burn. Till no end.

• back to list   • back   • next

Riddle... Fierce, like a wet winged butterfly fighting its way out of the shell, Tearing at the smothering fabric, Curled antennae tasting the first touches of freedom, Miniature claws shedding soiled remnants Eternally forgotten under the devastating dazzle Of its newly born spread wings... Ferocious, like a week old puppy opening bleary eyes, Stumbling on disoriented legs while discovering a proud tail end And with a growl wisely disguised into a squeal Chasing it into oblivion... till tired, It curls around mom's heavy tits and with needle sharp teeth Squirts sweet warm milk into a hungry miniature belly... Gentle, like the bubbling music of a volcano's crater, Melted metal pouring along wavering serpentines down valleys Lost in soft morning mist strewn with beautiful glinting sparks, It's murmur blending with the symphony of crackling wood Alive with red flame running through thick branches And singing a hymn to thunder and ashes and raining rocks... Tender, like a tigress licking her cubs' eyes, Stripes of yellow and black elegantly dressing her superb body, Sabre sharp fangs catching the fragile living bundle of fur with watchmaker's precision And letting it down to crawl unmolested between protective sleeping claws Deeply sunk in their muscled retreat Dreaming restlessly about sudden fulgurating irreversible death... Woman.

• back to list   • back   • next

Hunger... For a glimpse Of those hungry eyes Veiled with the fragile curtain Of thin silver pain Mixed with pulsating golden lust... For a sound From those hungry lips Mute under the impenetrable barrier Of burly oppressing ache Entwined with steely unbreakable desire chains... For a touch By that hungry body Guarded with the fierce courage Of past fading needs At war with devastatingly consuming passion...

• back to list   • back   • next

Moments After... When your head crushes the pillow Leaving smears of lipstick pink And the bluebell hidden iris Under eyelid seems to wink, When your fist crumples the bed sheet Tearing clumps of linen white And the sharp ivory necklace Through your lips smiles blinding bright, When your breast breaks through the fabric Proudly stabbing nipple red And the paleness of your belly Autumn whispers seems to shed, When you sleep, your sweet abandon To the gods of love undone And your sighs my heart to ribbons Cut and strew under the sun...

• back to list   • back   • next

Absolutes... There is only one way to say I love you, You said. I love you. There is only one way to love you, I said. Absolutely, completely, totally. Hey, You said. You said there is only one way to love me. Right, I said. There is only one way to love you. There is no way to say it.

• back to list   • back   • next

Desert Legend... She opened her palm, There was a pearl there, Pink, with stains of white, Almost perfectly round. Did it grow there? Did it grow there? I asked her. Yes, you can have it, she said. How much? I asked. One silver dollar, she said. I have only one gold dollar, I will give you one gold dollar for your pearl. No, it's one silver dollar, You can have it for one silver dollar, she said. There were tears in her eyes. I started searching my pockets, Opened the wooden trunk fastened to my saddle, There were only gold nuggets there, Also a few blue rough sapphires. I will give you one gold dollar, One gold nugget, And my biggest sapphire. No, it's one silver dollar, You can have it for one silver dollar, she said. One tear left a shiny trace underneath her right eye, And yellow dust stuck to it instantly. She lifted her left foot, There was a gem studded horseshoe on it, Blues, and whites, and greens, Blinding me in their reflections of the noon sun. Did it grow there? Did it grow there? I asked her. Yes, you can have it, she said. How much? I asked. One silver dollar, she said. I have only one gold dollar, I will give you one gold dollar for your horseshoe. No, it's one silver dollar, You can have it for one silver dollar, she said. A second tear followed the trace of the first, Wiping away the yellow dust for a few moments. Listen girl, I will give you my one gold dollar, All my sapphires, And half of my gold nuggets For your pearl and your horseshoe. No, it's one silver dollar, You can have them for one silver dollar, she said. A tear from her left eye ran down her cheek, Joining its lost siblings on the dusty ground. She opened her shirt, Small breasts defying my regard, Two dark red ruby tips smothering my breath With their hellish fire. Did they grow there? Did they grow there? I asked her. Yes, you can have them, she said. How much? I asked. One silver dollar, she said. I spilled my wooden trunk Gold nuggets and sapphires rolling around her bare feet, Then unfastened my second wooden trunk from the saddle, Opened it and spilled all of my emeralds on top, Richness beyond imagination up to her knees, And then flipped my gold dollar on top of the mound. All of my nuggets, and sapphires, and emeralds, And one gold dollar For your rubies. She smiled, Crystal tears followed by golden tears followed by blue tears As she closed her shirt and turned to go. Wait! I shouted, and my fingers locked around her shoulder, For a few moments afraid that the slender bones will crush under the grip. Wait, this is the middle of the desert, soon there will be night. Where are you going to? You didn't ask where I am coming from when you met me. I didn't care then. And now you care because of my pearl, and gems horseshoe, and rubies? I care because of your crystal tears, and your golden tears, and your blue tears. I will stay, because you don't have a silver dollar. I made a small fire. Who are you? I asked. I will not tell you, you will not believe me, she said. I didn't ask you where you come from, I said. You didn't care, she said. I was afraid, I said. I come from fairytales, she said. I know, I said. Do you believe in fairy tales? she asked. I didn't, I answered. She went to my horse and hugged its neck. Then she lay on a rock bathing in starlight showers. She talked to the full moon. I am a princess. I was a princess. In fairy tales I could have been a princess. My father the mightiest pearl king in all the seas, Depths riches beyond imagination, A kingdom as wide as the widest sea, as wild as the wildest sea forest, I was the daughter, the princess, The prettiest pearl in the prettiest shell that anyone has ever seen, Kings knocking at our palace's gate for my hand, Princes fighting sea monsters for my gratitude, Human hunters desperately chasing me with dented steel knives... My father the wildest unicorn king beyond the clouds, Sky riches beyond imagination, A kingdom as wide as the widest horizon, as wild as the wildest hurricane, I was the daughter, the princess, The prettiest mane on the fastest hoof that anyone has ever set eye on, Kings knocking at our palace's gate for my hand, Princes fighting sky monsters for my gratitude, Human hunters desperately chasing me with fire driven arrows... My father the most awesome elf king down depths of dreams realms, Magic riches beyond imagination, A kingdom as wide as the widest of visions, as wild as the wildest of legends, I was the daughter, the princess, The prettiest fay with the clearest laughter that anyone has ever dreamt of, Kings knocking at our palace's gate for my hand, Princes fighting fantasy monsters for my gratitude, Human hunters desperately chasing me with rhymed magic spells... I am a princess. I was a princess. In fairy tales I could have been a princess. I didn't want to be a princess. I didn't want to be a pearl princess, a unicorn princess, an elf princess. I wanted to be a princess. I wanted to be human. I wanted to be a human princess. Like in the legends I sucked in with salty sea water, with mother's sweet milk, To be able to breathe in the flowers carpeted valleys down earth's rugged mountains, To run across the flowers carpeted valleys along earth's wild rivers, To make love on the flowers carpeted valleys across earth's unending plains... I bet my race's inheritance for my human dream, Looking for love, Finding greed. Prey to my curse. * I woke up with a start. She sat cross legged, My gun in her lap, My gun belt by her side, She was taking a bullet in her palm, next to the pearl, Closing it to a fist, Opening it and dropping a pearl to the ground, Taking another bullet, Closing her fist around it, Dropping an emerald to the ground. Is this your curse? I asked. Yes, she answered. Picked up a fallen pearl, Closed her fist around it And thin dust sipped through her fingers carried away by the wind. Tell me, I begged of her. Tell you what? she whispered. Tell me, I begged of her. I bet my kingdoms for human shape, she whispered. Which kingdoms? I begged to know. All of them, she whispered. Tell me when, I begged of her. By today's sunset, she whispered, By today's sunset wherever it may find me, As the last ray of evening's sun quits my body I die, My kingdoms die, The fairy tale dies. For love? I asked, You bet your kingdoms hoping to find love in human shape? For love, she answered, I bet my kingdoms knowing to find love in human shape. The silver dollar? I asked, What about the silver dollar? My fathers blessed me with the knowledge, she answered, They could not void the bet, They blessed me with the knowledge when I win the bet, Knowledge when I find love, When I find the one who will offer me only one silver dollar for my riches... I thought it was you, I had just one more day, But you offered me one gold dollar. Wait a moment, I shouted, This is insane, it does not make sense, To offer you one silver dollar this is greed, To offer you one gold dollar this is fair. Please do not be angry with me, she said, This is a fairy tale and in fairy tales there is no sense, There is a curse and there is a blessing, The blessing is supposed to be stronger than the curse, Guess I prove that fairy tales can have a sad ending? I closed my eyes, The sun was burning hot, Wake up, I told myself, wake up, The sun has beaten you out of your senses, This is a hallucination, Wake up, open your eyes. I opened my eyes, She was still there, turning bullets into pearls Then pearls into dust, Bullets into emeralds Then emeralds into dust, Bullets into sapphires, Sapphires into dust... I woke up as she was shaking my shoulder, I must have fallen into an exhaustion sleep. You must go, she said. Why? I asked. In one hour the sun sets, she said. I don't want to leave you alone, I said. I don't want you to see me die, she said. She opened her palm, There was a pebble there, Grey, stained, Almost perfectly round. Did it grow there? Did it grow there? I asked her. No, you cannot have it, she said. How much? I asked. It is too late, she said. I have only one gold dollar, I will give you one gold dollar for your pebble. No, it is too late, You cannot have it even for one silver dollar, she said. There were tears in her eyes and the setting sun sparkled in them. She lifted her left foot, There were bloodied stones encrusted in it, Grey, brown, yellow, Hardly visible in the setting sun. Did they grow there? Did they grow there? I asked her. No, you cannot have them, she said. How much? I asked. It is too late, she said. I will give you one gold dollar, One gold nugget, And my biggest sapphire. No, it is too late, You cannot have them even for one silver dollar, she said. One tear left a shiny trace underneath her right eye, And the setting sun followed hungrily the falling trail. She opened her shirt, Small breasts defying my regard, Two red flesh an blood tips smothering my breath With a lost promise. Did they grow there? Did they grow there? I asked her. No, you cannot have them, she said. How much? I asked. It is too late, she said. I spilled my wooden trunk Gold nuggets and sapphires rolling around her bare feet, Then unfastened my second wooden trunk from the saddle, Opened it and spilled all of my emeralds on top, Richness beyond imagination up to her knees, And then flipped my gold dollar on top of the mound. All of my nuggets, and sapphires, and emeralds, And one gold dollar For your life. She smiled, The setting sun burning a trail of fire on her cheeks mixing With the crystal tears followed by the golden tears followed by the blue tears As she closed her shirt and turned to go. The lower edge of the sun touched the horizon. Wait! I shouted, and my fingers locked around her shoulder, For a few moments afraid that the slender bones will crush under the grip. Wait, Where are you going to? You didn't ask where I am coming from when you met me. I didn't care then. And now you care because of my pain? I care because of my life. I will go, because you don't have a silver dollar. I picked up the treasures strewn around her feet, Poured them all in the two wooden trunks, Closed the lids and pulled them to the edge of the black bubbling stain in the desert. Then with one final effort shoved them one after the other in Watching them disappear to their deep black death. Now I don't have a silver dollar. Now I have nothing. Stay. Half of the sun has given in to the sand. Half of the sun was burning me through her eyes, The deep lakes unable to extinguish the damning fire. Where were you? she asked. Where was I when? I asked. Where were you when there was time? she asked. Where were you when there was time? I asked. She turned to go. Wait! I shouted. Take my horse. If I take your horse you die, she said. If you don't take my horse I see you die, I said. You give your life for my death, she said. I give my life, I said. I picked her up and sat her in the saddle. She was as light as the wind. You are as light as the wind. You are as late as a blessing. They started departing into the sunset. Wait! I whispered. She turned around. I raised my hand. Between thumb and forefinger, Scrapped from some deep fold in my riding trousers' pocket, Unknown to me and unknown to the world, There was one silver dollar. I closed my eyes. I swear I could feel the clear heavens raining pearls on my cheeks, Flowers growing in the scarred ground around my feet, And the wild neighing of horses in the skies...

• back to list   • back   • next

Dialogue... He - I taught you love's soft magic way, Trace fires down heart's bubbling clay, In thunder hear wild horses' neigh,         - you taught me pain. I taught you dream's forbidden bay, December trade with smiling May, In passion's claws be willing prey,         - you taught me pain. She - Your love I made my only reign, Wild horses roam my heart's domain, Your pain I'll own, and you retain         - my years' bouquet. Your blazing dreams my nights have slain, In passion's May I smile insane, Give me your pain, and here's again         - my years' bouquet.

• back to list   • back   • next

Forgiveness... Yesterday the eagle's soar, Yesterday the lion's roar, Yesterday the flooding pain Laying waste my heart's domain, Yesterday... dies fury's pride         by your side... Yester night the burning grip, Yester night the clawing whip, Yester night the raving beast Gulping sun's emerging east, Yester night... dies fever's clutch         at your touch... Day today the burning lips, Day today hot fingertips Day today across my chest Branding deep from east to west Day today... like scorching sun,         we are one...

• back to list   • back   • next

The Likes Of... Not the big ones, Don't want to invoke the sun. The sun, the moon, the stars, Thunder and lightning, Roaring seas and soaring dragons... Not this time. I want to call upon the small, the daily. Like the smell of freshly baked bread, Gently sifting into the nostrils of a starved man Right before he sinks his teeth in for a first bite. Like the wagging tail of a month old puppy, Proudly regarding his first exploit After peeing on the thick Persian rug. Like the blushing teenage girl with the red ribbon in her hair, Kissed for the first time And rushing home to tell mom about that disgusting boy who dared. Like the warm embrace of his six month pregnant wife, Smilingly greeting the dirty miner on the house threshold Then guiding his prickly face and coal black hands to touch her belly. Like the snowdrop's first daring attempt at facing the winter's cold, Shaking courageously the hanging icicles from its petals And opening to the world its fragile perfumed heart. Like you. The likes of you.

• back to list   • back   • next

Words, Wounds... guised in dress of burning word lies in wait a hungry sword letters forged to razor edge chained in cryptic velvet pledge watching whisper's icy grain shakes the mists my waking brain slowly fingers curl to fist from its sheath the steely beast snatching high above my head great the rage and none your dread as you paint a humming tune scenting seasons set in june and your fingers satin tear and your chest to kisses bare and your skin to touching crave when in sudden passion's rave flashes weapon's mighty sweep fingers five it plunges deep in a breast so soft and frail slicing heart's forgotten trail cobalt eyes melt down to ice red and pain with darkness splice and you gently float to ground bleeding love with not a sound...

• back to list   • back   • next

Tunes Eight... fay oh fay, fay oh fay, way away, way away, sweet of lips, sweet of lips, dreamland's deeps, dreamland's deeps, do you know, do you know, dearest doe, dearest doe, that the days, that the days, pass in haze, pass in haze, that the nights, that the nights, pains claim rights, pains claim rights, that my heart, that my heart, breaks apart, breaks apart, that my life, that my life, needs you wife, needs you wife... * fay oh fay, fay oh fay, way away, way away, sweet of sigh, sweet of sigh, blue of eye, blue of eye, smile in bloom, smile in bloom, wild perfume, wild perfume, soft of skin, soft of skin, lust and sin, lust and sin, in your mind, in your mind, be so kind, be so kind, in the glade, in the glade, be my shade, be my shade, in my past, in my past, be my last, be my last, by your side, by your side, let me glide, let me glide, let me lie, let me lie, let me die, let me die, i will bet, i will bet, you forget, you forget, none the blame, none the blame, none the name, none the name, fades the star, fades the star, heals the scar, heals the scar, gone the woes, gone the woes, gone the rose, gone the rose... * fay oh fay, fay oh fay, way away, way away, when in may, when in may, you will sway, you will sway, on the porch, on the porch under scorch, under scorch, of a sun, of a sun, like no one, like no one, look around, look around, for the sound, for the sound, for the smell, for the smell, for the spell, for the spell, as from low, as from low, glitters glow, glitters glow, as from high, as from high, secrets sigh, secrets sigh, as from yond, as from yond, shadows bond, shadows bond till you see, till you see, i and me, i and me, haunt and dream, haunt and dream, tender team, tender team, round your legs, round your legs, craves and begs, craves and begs, round you breasts, round your breasts, moments rests, moments rests, round your neck, round your neck, tracing trek, tracing trek, round your lips, round your lips, huddled sleeps, huddled sleeps, and you know, and you know, then will go, then will go, ever way, ever way, bye oh fay, bye oh fay...

• back to list   • back   • next

Pop'lar... laddie laddie boy sad as sad as joy fever fever ice timid timid vice told i was i was words and buzz and buzz smiles and sweets and sweets tears then treats then treats oaths and trust and trust flares of lust of lust worth are none are none touch then done then done then my reign my reign is the pain the pain. woman woman girl pebble pebble pearl whisper whisper tune winter winter june when i claim i claim love and flame and flame tell you i you i pierce my eye my eye through my soul my soul rip a hole a hole cleave apart apart chest and heart and heart if i lie i lie let me die me die.

• back to list   • back   • next

Tiny Heart, Tiny Love... Is that tiny heart of yours, Hidden hind forbidden flesh, Beating through the bony mesh An unrivalled verse in Morse         bold and fresh? Is that tiny love of yours, Guised in brazen words of lust, Grinding with its eager gust Reason walls and patience doors         thin to dust? Aren't tiny love and heart, Through a magic known to none, Greater than the mighty sun Welding lives a world apart         into one?

• back to list   • back   • next

Passing Time... Passing time away from you, My favorite way, the only way, Writing to you. Thinking, What would I prefer, Writing to you or making love to you. Hesitating. How could I know, I've done one all my life, I've not done the other all my life too... You're smiling, I know you're smiling, You're thinking... come into my arms renegade lover of mine, Come into my arms And once there There's no hesitating anymore, You'll wish time turn to rock, World turn to desert, And us turn to first of Eden's dwellers... You keep smiling, your nose high in the sky... No, not even that, You'll know time has turned to rock, World has turned to desert, And us we're Eden's first dwellers... Passing time away from you, My favorite way, the only way, Writing to you. Thinking, What would I prefer, Writing to you or making love to you. Hesitating. You've strewn doubts into my spirit, Your crooked smile disturbs me, Shall I accept what I know you're thinking And tear down the tattered pieces of paper carrying my messy writing, Close my eyes and fade into the nothing world Of promises, dreams, desires, Empty of all else? Is it what you're thinking Or is it my miserable interpretation Stained by fogs of uncertainty As I hide my tearful eyes in your bosom And wipe my nose on your crumpled skirt? You're smiling, I know you're smiling, You're pulling my ear to your mouth And while your finger plays along my lips Your words pour a river of fire into my soul... Come into my arms renegade lover of mine, Come into my arms And once there you'll find That your words are the fuel that feeds my life, The flowers my hands are full of, The sparkle dazzling my mornings on grey stormy days... Come into my arms And once there Carve your words into the marble of my body, Weave your words into the tapestry of my heart, Paint your words on the canvas of my eyelids... Come into my arms And once there remember That I'm your art and your creation, That the fire in my bone is the word in your mouth, That the softness in my breast is the love in your verse... Come into my arms renegade lover of mine, And while mindless time rams The swelling heart's dams, And witless sands swarm Round passion's wild storm, Through Eden's wide gates As lovers and mates We'll step to the lair, In fire and flare In thunder of word In whisper of sword We'll set sky ablaze Till end of all days... Passing time away from you, My favorite way, the only way, Writing to you. Thinking, What would I prefer, Writing to you or making love to you. Past hesitating. Way past hesitating. You smiled. You answered me. Both. And all of it.

• back to list   • back   • next

Autumnal... If I burn, wish rotten hell Which will follow that last knell To be strewn with autumn leaves, As my life through fingers sieves         - soak that smell... If I soar, wish heaven's lane Cutting through my human pain To bear clouds through naked trees, As my breath turns dying breeze         - drink that rain... If I live, wish life's rude glove Spares my guileless fragile dove, 'Cause my way to heaven, hell, She has blessed with autumn's spell         - autumn love...

• back to list   • back   • next

Cravings... Let your breath engulf me, Be the dragon burning my skin with its scorching flame, Let me perish in the tormented inferno of ravaging love And never let go till I turn black dying crumbling ember... Let your word inebriate me, Be the poisoned wine pouring down my throat its cutting knives, Let me perish in the maddening spasms of devastating love And never let go till I lie crippled dying agonizing shape... Let your touch devour me, Be the savage claw ripping my spirit's sanctity with its obscene desires, Let me perish in the scathing terrors of raping love And never let go till I shed my bleeding dying withering flesh... Let me huddle in your lap, Let your breath, let your word, let your touch Soothe my agony As I smilingly slide into blessed nowhere...

• back to list   • back   • next

A Blanket... Around you, Layers upon layers upon layers of protection, Wool, Upon steel, Upon glass, Covering every inch of skin, every strand of hair, Every nail, Every healing scratch, Warmth, warm around you, Protecting against people, Against world's pretences and nature's disasters and body's weaknesses, Opening at a whisper Closing at a thought, Unseen and mighty, Safe, Protected, Snug and happy and worriless in your cocoon... A blanket, around you, Burning in the fire while your cool breath mists the insides, Breaking under the load while your fragile frame dances inside, Crumbling under the pain while your smile paints visions inside, Safe, Protected, While the world falls to drifting pieces all around you... A blanket, around you, Absorbing your pains and hurting for you, Sorting your dreams and dreaming the nightmares for you, Swapping its happy moments with your moments of despair, Safe, Protected, Unknowing of the storm outside in your oasis' tranquillity... A blanket. Wish I was a blanket around you, To die, so you live...

• back to list   • back   • next

The Edge... I found it, The edge of the world, The end of it, Maybe others found it too? Maybe... They didn't return to tell the story, Fell in and still they fall, One way street, One way chasm, Away from all they knew, Away from all... I looked down. Why do I say down, Was it down there? Is after the edge a down Or is it a somewhere And more probably a nowhere? I looked downwhere, Bent as far as I dared and scrutinized it Considering Is it there that I will find it? Is it there that I will find absence of pain, Is it there that I will find absolution of consuming desire, Absolution of love, lust, eluding passion, Fading dreams, Woman's touch, Warmth, Tenderness?... Or will I find an eternity, An eternity of pain, of consuming desire, of eluding passion? I stretched forward a hand, Then the other, Bent my knees, Closed my eyes as there was nothing to see, Held my breath as there was nothing, Blanked my mind to thoughts of eternity, Smiled at my childish conceit And arrogant decision to get my knowledge by irreversible trial And tensed my muscles for the leap into the bottomless pit... Wait!... Said the voice, And the steel of a tender arm encompassed my chest and pulled me back... Wait!... And the soft breeze of a forgotten fragrance drugged my senses... Wait!... I woke up. Who are you? I asked on the purple shore of a waveless purple sea. Do I dream you? Why is everything purple? Where are the waves? Where are people? I am child... said the voice. I am daughter... said the voice. I am the daughter you never had, You never will, I own this dream, I own these shores and this sea, I painted them purple, I like purple, do you like purple? Where is the edge? I asked, I have dreams, I had enough dreams, I want to know, I found the edge, Where is the edge, I want knowledge, Do you have knowledge? I have purple. Purple is not knowledge, purple is color. Purple is love in my world, I have love, If love is what you want stay in my world, Let my purple touch tear away black pain from your heart And build purple memories inside your empty memory banks... My memory banks are not empty... You don't remember me... I never had you, I remember pain. Do you remember love? I am looking for knowledge. Do I look for love? I do not know, I do not exist, how would I know? Do you look for love? I do not see you, why do I not see you, How did you pull me back from the edge? I heard a crystalline thin laughter. I do not have any answer, You have them all, You have the knowledge. I heard a crystalline thin sob. Don't go to the edge, You know. I woke up. Who are you? I asked on the red banks of a still standing red river. Do I dream you? Why is everything red? Why is the river not flowing? Where are people? Where is daughter? I am girl... said the voice I am friend... said the voice. I am the girl friend you never had, You never will, I own this dream, I own these banks and this river, I painted them red, I like red, do you like red? Where is daughter gone? There is no daughter, there is girl, There is friend, There is red, I like red, do you like red? I want knowledge. Friend? Red? You always liked red, so I like red, Red is love in my world, I have love, If love is what you want stay in my world, Let my red touch tear away purple pain from your heart And build red memories inside your purple memory banks... How do you know purple? You always wanted me your friend, I came. Too late. Yes, you came too late... No, you came too late... Yes, you came too late. Where were you? I waited for you so many years, so many places, Why were you born so far away, Why didn't you look for me so long ago, Why did you find me in the wrong place? I didn't find you. Why did you find me in the wrong place? I looked for you, In books, in movies, on the school benches, I wrote you poems, Did you receive my poems? Too late. I called for you, I cried for you. I heard. I am here. Too late. Maybe. Love is never late. Love is red. A rose is red. A rose is never late. A rose is a rose. Are you looking for my rose? Am I looking for your love? I do not know, I do not exist, how would I know? Do you look for my love? I see you through a thick milky mist, why do I not see you clearly, How did you pull me back from the edge? I heard a crystalline thin laughter, Maybe I heard it before? I don't remember... I do not have any answer, You have them all, You have the knowledge. I heard a crystalline thin sob, Maybe I heard it before? I don't remember... Don't go to the edge, You know. I woke up. Who are you? I asked on the pink dry foliage under a never falling pink rain. Do I dream you? Why is everything pink? Why is the rain not falling? Where are people? Where is daughter? Where is girl? I am woman... said the voice. I am wife... said the voice. I am the wife you never had, You never will, I own this dream, I own this dry foliage and this rain, I painted them pink, I like pink, do you like pink? I want knowledge. Where is daughter? Where is girl? Was I daughter? Was I girl? Did you love me? I love pink, Pink is love in my world If love is what you want stay in my world, Let my pink touch tear away red pain from your heart And build pink memories inside your red memory banks... How do you know red? You always wanted me your wife, I came. Too late. Still time. Too late. Still time, At the edge there is always still time, There is no time, There is endless time. Too late, too late, too late... You found me, didn't you? You were looking for me so you knew it is not too late, Now you found me, the clock starts ticking again. No, you found me. No, I found you. How did you find me? You called. Did I? I was gazing into the edge, I didn't call. You called me, I heard your voice, You asked my permission to call me and called me. I don't remember. Of course you don't remember, I started filling your memory with pink pictures, Pink smells, pink fingertip sensations, Pink tomorrows... I hate tomorrows, I want today's. Tomorrow is today, Tomorrow is pink, is love. Why did you save me? I did not save you, I loved you. I loved you since you called me through your black, I loved you since you called me through your purple, then your red, I loved you since you painted my dream pink. You said you painted it pink. Yes, you painted it pink. Do I love you? I know, I exist, I know. Do you love me? I see you as clearly as bright sunshine, You blind me, you burn my eyes with beauty, How did you pull me back from the edge? Since when do I love you? I heard a crystalline thin laughter, I think I heard it before, Did I? You see? You have the answer. You own the answer. You have it. One. You have the knowledge. The answer is I love you? The answer is I love you. The knowledge is I love you? The knowledge is I love you. The knowledge is you love me? The knowledge is you love me. You know more than daughter, you know more than girl, Is it the world, Is the world pink? I am daughter, I am girl, I am wife, This is my world, Pink is love, I am pink. Where is my world, Where is the edge? I rolled a stone over it, I painted it pink, Pink is love, I am pink. Do I love you? More than pink. Do you love me? More than life. I listened carefully, stretching my senses to the extreme, Waiting for a crystalline thin sob. It never came. I never woke up.

• back to list   • back   • next

Imperfections... I found them, Many, Some small, some big, Some hidden under the folds of a garment, Was looking for them, Hoping to find them, I did... Wrinkles, Some around the eyes, Around the corners of the mouth, Some on your hands... An imperfect tooth, another one, Slight traces of hair on your upper lip, A few grey hairs that escaped the powerful dye, A broken nail... Birth marks, Didn't know you had so many of them, You smiled shyly when I touched them Then allowed me to find some more Better hidden than the others... Some soft spots, Not all of you steel and muscles, You laughed teasingly when I patted one of the spots And punched me in the eye... only an excuse so you could kiss me, Then guided my hand back to the same spot so I could caress it... Your voice... no imperfections there. Closed my eyes and imagined a long tailed mermaid Sliding naked under the roar of the waves In company of dolphin brothers, A transparent winged fairy Pulling a multicolored brush From one end of the rainbow to the other, An aquarelle painting come to life Descending from its easel And spreading itself across the world... Closed my eyes Then opened them as fast as I could to chase away the visions, No mermaids, no fairies, no aquarelles, no perfection fair or fake, Don't want any, no, no perfection Except for the perfect imperfections Of the mouth owning the voice, Of the body owning the mouth, So human, so perfectly human, So unique, Do you know that imperfections are unique? So uniquely yours, So uniquely you...

• back to list   • back   • next

Misapprehension... My hand, Supposed to caress, to calm, Suddenly turning into a vise and closing on your wrist, Painfully, You winced, reproach in your eyes, in your voice... Why? You asked, all I did is tell you I love you... Why? I asked opening my palm, The uncontrolled spasm over, the distress in your regard drilling my heart, The question in your voice soft, undemanding, just wondering, I jumped back, the one moment of misapprehension over, The blue stain on your wrist visible, Your eyes looking for a reason... Why? You asked, all I did is tell you I love you... I tried to take your hands in mine, To ask you to forgive, to forget, to erase, You kept looking at the blue stain, then looked at my face, Your hand rigid in mine, Waiting... for something? Wish I had the something you wished for - The yesterday, the what if not, the never happened... I did not have it, all I had was an unacceptable excuse, A request, a promise, a long wait... You smiled. Uncertain yet if you should, knowing you want to, Hesitating. My heart thumping. Then slowly your hand squeezed mine gently, warmly, Forgiving... I love you, you said, all you did is forget...

• back to list   • back   • next

Pastorale... Lay your head on my knees, Let the whispering trees Lay a blanket of gold, Copper leaves days untold, Silver thread weaving in Fragile petals of sin, Spider thin silver string Wedding dew drops of spring... Let your eyes claim the peace Of a dying storm's bliss, All of yesterday's tears Diamond studs in your ears, Living necklaces rings Waving butterflies' wings, In the depths of your eyes Smiles the sun as it dies...

• back to list   • back   • next

Pains... I finally know it, Thought I knew it, arrogant naïve me, Then in one single lucid moment I discovered its true taste As reality erased the smirk decorating my face Turning it into a pitiful grimace Squashing my complete body... Pain, Oh, terrifying as the blackest of nightmares Sinking tenderly its fierce grip into my mind And gently letting smooth poison soak into my thoughts Ripping apart each and every fibre of resistance... Pain, Searing, As my fingers deserted the warmth of your skin's fields, My teeth gave up their bloody quarry And my eyes chased vainly a disappearing shape melting into memory... Pain, As I sank to the cold floor shivering, Foam dripping from a numb mouth Trying to lock away tastes never known And rumbling earthquake tearing to pieces a crippled heart screaming for home... Pain, As I crouched cuddled in my arms Waiting for your drug to invade my senses once again And drag my bloodied remains along heaven's flowery paths Staining the pavement with my incoherent blessings... Pain, Fading away, As my fingers find once more the searing warmth of your skin's fields, My teeth cut deep into the yielding flesh And my eyes gaze openly at a sun's shape burning its memory into their blindness... Pain, Gone like a summer's light breeze Giving in to the hurricanes of devastating happiness...

• back to list   • back   • next

Seasons... Dress in winter my desire, Dress in snow my raging fire, Dress in grey my rainbow's shine Dress in sin your smile divine... Carve my agony to summer, Carve my heart to master drummer, Carve my nightmare to a bliss, Carve your sin to riving kiss... Let the autumn kill my shiver, Let the desert drink my river, Let the passion claim my growl, Let the sin protect your soul... Gone the spring of my ambition, Gone the shame of my rendition, Gone the dark... my nameless fear, Gone the sin... and you are here...

• back to list   • back   • next

Flesh... Let my fingers' insane raving Feed the lust your breasts are craving With my teeth traces of blood Round them paving... Let my bones' steam rolling rumble Turn your sighs to madness' mumble With a gaping mouth your lungs Screaming crumble... Let my whispers be the quire Softly quenching out the fire As you smiling sink in sleep's Blissful mire...

• back to list   • back   • next

Snow, Snow... Snow, snow, melt away, Let my pretty flower fay Wake its petals to the wonder Sun's warm blessing ripe to plunder Through the lust of dying day Calm the thunder... Snow, snow, hug me in, Let my passion's raving sin Burn my soul from now to ever As I rip from womb the never And I seed its next of kin Sweet forever... Snow, snow, let my bride Snuggle gently by my side On a bed the white of glory Smiling past old why and sorry With her whispers' fading tide End the story... * Snow, snow, don't you go To the lands of ever glow, There's a legend old folks tell Of two lovers' burning hell Mid of heaven's river flow Roars the spell...

• back to list   • back   • next

Moments Of Infinity... Did you see the ocean? she asked. Of course, I answered. So you are not interested in my lake, she smiled. But I am, I said. It is small, almost a pond... she looked me up, inquiringly. Even if it is a muddy puddle, I answered and took one of her fingers in my mouth. Even if it is a small muddy puddle? her eyes shining. Even if it is a spit trace on the sand. We sat on the shore, leaning against the big wheel of her truck. She insisted to take her four wheeler, just in case we may sink in the sand. There is no sand here, I remarked, just to get her off my earlobe. There could have been, she laughed and kept chewing. I looked at the water expanse, anywhere between a lake and a pond and a spit trace, Half frozen, the other half too. I chuckled. You are making fun of my lake? I am making fun of your puddle. You insisted to come down here. Why? Told you there is nothing to see. Exactly the reason. She frowned, dissatisfied, and bit my nose. Then sat between my outstretched legs her back leaning against my chest, Her disarrayed hair all over my face. I kissed her on the top of her head. She took my hand and guided it underneath her shirt and underneath her bra. The hot flesh shivered at the touch of my cold fingers. Tell me or your hand is prisoner forever. Exactly the reason, I repeated myself. Because there is nothing to see. Except you. You insult my lake. I love you. Your hand is prisoner forever. Can you extend forever to at least a lifetime? She turned slowly to face me, Her feet around my middle above my thighs, And all the time ensuring she makes her threat true. Can you extend a lifetime to at least a day? The plane took off. Tears of rage smothering the view As all the lakes looked like diminishing puddles Till the invading clouds erased them completely. I extended a lifetime to a day. I wish I could have done it the other way around.

• back to list   • back   • next

Like's... I like saxophone, she said. I like also peanut butter fudge, and my truck, and Elvis... And I don't like spiders and I like squirrels. My TV broke today. Tomorrow I have to buy another pair of shoes. I had to stop the flood somehow, before it took off at another tangent. I kissed her. She opened big surprised eyes, closing them moments later to sounds of mmmm... What about me, I asked her once she gave me back my lower lip. You mean do I have to buy another pair of you? Giggle. I mean do you like me too? No. Serious. No? I repeated, a bit taken aback by the serious expression. Joke, right? No. Serious. But you like saxophone, and fudge, and Elvis... Yes, true. Not a sign of a giggle. Still serious. Drilling eyes, intense. But I don't like you. Oh, I get it, I laughed with sudden relief, You little weasel, you... got me there for a moment, You don't like me, you love me... is that the idea? No. Pouting lip, fierce regard, fingers locked on my shirt's lapels Almost tearing the tensing buttons off... I panicked. That serious regard, I almost cringed away from it... I felt like screaming... I opened my mouth... Don't... she said, leaving the tortured cloth to place a finger on my mouth. Don't... she said. I don't like you. No, I don't even love you. You, I am in love with... I closed my eyes. I knew I don't know women. I knew she was not a woman. She was another species, not yet catalogued. Probably a unique specimen. Was I on the verge of a new scientific discovery? I opened them again, finding her eyes one inch away from my nose, Looking up at me with a crossed regard, Almost funny if it was not as ferocious as it was. I love you, I whispered, my hot breath almost scorching her eyelashes. I tried to approach her lips But found it impossible to move against that stiff finger stuck in my chest. Care to rephrase it? Demanding. Please? Begging. I was lost. I knew the paths of hell only too well, I mapped the paths of heaven with so much care, yet, I was lost. This was not hell, this was not heaven and not even earth. Where was I, inside a story maybe? Inside a dream? The cross eyed regard never leaving my eyes for a moment, Tears welling at the left eye's corner Refusing to let gravitation take control of their destiny. I closed the gap to half an inch, Her eyes still following, not giving up for a moment. I am in love with you... I whispered, the message finally getting through to my brain. She allowed gravitation take over, The ragged track underneath her left eye glittering with invisible salt crystals, Her finger finally removed from my chest and the distance reduced to zero, Even to minus... I heard her squashed mouth giggle throatily. What now? I scolded. You are such a sissy... her voice bells rang. You mean all this was just a small act? I asked with my most self righteous indignant voice. She pushed my back against the wall and curled perfect puppy fashion in my lap, Her eyes closed. I was going to tear you apart, is what I mean... she whispered, and fell to sleep. I don't remember the rest of the night. There is not much to remember. Just flowing, never ending peace of mind.

• back to list   • back   • next

Not The Movies... I love the smell of your hair, I told her. Mmmmmm... was her only reaction. I like to touch your fingers, I told her. Mmmmmm... again. I wondered what could I say to make her open her eyes And get her off the mmmmmm mood? Not that I disliked it. I like Marilyn Monroe, I told her... Grrrrr... well, at least we were getting somewhere. ...But I love you. The menthe perfumed breath smothered my mouth As I was trying in vain to gain access to the normal stinking air. In vain. She refused to let me breathe anything but air coming straight from her lungs, Waiting for me to asphyxiate trying Yet not allowing it to happen, Those lips selectively mixing into my lungs part oxygen, Part perfumed exhaling breeze, Almost like in the movies, The beautiful girl mouth-to-mouthing the handsome guy, And finally marrying him. We knew it is not the movies. That kiss trying to absorb my life in exchange for hers, The fingers digging into my shoulders like hydraulic driven clams, The eyes shut tight cowering away from the emerging reality... The beautiful girl finally letting the handsome guy go away And trying vainly to mend a broken heart. Two broken hearts. I wondered... does reality have happy end scenarios at times? Is there a Hollywood like studio creating it And making it a happy end or a soggy hanky end According to some unknown director's whim? Or is it the brutal reality of a statistical coincidence deciding on the heroes' fate? I felt her fingers' vise suddenly go limp, Her body still attached to mine by some unknown fibres... It took me several moments to realize that it is my fingers this time Digging so strongly into her back That she couldn't slide to the ground and lie there expecting me to go away. Was it what I should have done, letting my fingers go? How could I, I didn't control them anymore? I lied, I said, I don't like Marilyn Monroe. Mmmmmm... was the soft music answering me. I did not lie, I like the smell of your hair. Quiet. I listened intently. Quiet. I did not lie, I like to touch your fingers. Quiet. Did she hear me? I go. Do you hear me? Is it true, do you like the smell of my hair? Yes, I do like the smell of your hair. And do you really like to touch my fingers? Yes, I really like to touch your fingers. Do you like more things about me? Yes, I like more things about you. Tell me. There is no time. There is time to tell me there is no time. There is no time to tell you the truth. The truth? Do I know the truth? The truth.You know the truth. Is the truth good? No, the truth is true. Is the true truth good? My fingers finally dislodged from the deep wounds dug into her back. She did not slide to the ground. She looked straight into my eyes. She was patient. She waited for an answer. If I came back one year later she would still be there, Eyes searching the place where my eyes have been, Still waiting for the same answer. Yes, the truth is I like more things about you. Tell me. All. She smiled, the soft corners of the wide mouth raising to meet the eyes' corners. See, there is time to tell me all. No, there is no time to tell you all. You told me. No, I wish to tell you. You will tell me. When you return. I will tell you. When I return. You will return. I will return. Is finally the good guy marrying the good girl? I hesitated, mathematical formulas clashing in my brain, Afraid of the answer, knowing the answer, afraid of the promise. The good guy already married the good girl. Really? When? When you closed your eyes. You were afraid there will not be a happy end. You did not look. She opened her eyes. Was there a happy end? Yes. There was. There is. I am happy. Now you can leave. You believe me? Of course I believe you. I am happy. So it is a happy end. She was right. Of course she was right. She always knew the way to be right. I was happy too. She said so. Happy people cry, don't they? We had our proof. Life's studios imitating Hollywood. The only problem was just a very minor one, It seemed our fingers refused to give in to the brains' commands and separate, Funny things, fingers, Almost having a mind of their own...

• back to list   • back   • next

Time, Crawling, Time... Once upon a time there were days. Only hours left now, Soon minutes, What comes after minutes, is there anything after minutes? Fantasy heroes, freezing time, building time machines, Changing time, Then the movie ends, the book's last chapter is done And the hero vanishes. Short, glorious life, nothing beyond, Not even the time machine helps. Life stronger than a time machine, Time, unstoppable, not even for heroes. We huddle together. We are not heroes, we just met, There were days, an infinite interval, It will not end, it will never end... Only hours left now. We still huddle, afraid that giving up the touch will hasten time, It will not, Time crawls forward, Not faster, not slower, indifferent. How do we measure time? No, not by clocks, Or sand glasses or sun rotations, How do we really measure time As we sit huddled together, Arms locked, fingers locked, bodies locked? We do not measure it, We only know when it ends, And this is the only measure that counts. When arms unlock, fingers unlock, bodies unlock, And the three classical dimensions take control and interpose space And we start measuring time by inches, By yards, by miles. By heartbeats. We don't count by tears, we don't want to count infinity. We count by smiles, we want to count by moments of infinite joy, We become heroes of our own fantasies, Changing the time, freezing the time until there are days again, Never ending days, Never ending heartbeats, Infinite happiness.

• back to list   • back   • next

Parting Lullaby... The box dragging its wheels slowly away, carrying inside Bleeding hands Nails biting deep into flesh unable to control the spasm, Bleeding eyes Blue oceans smashing away at shores disintegrating into whipping tears, A bleeding heart Hesitating between the painful thunder and the everlasting quiet... A man made noisy box Carrying inside God's bleeding creation. I kneeled, I screamed, Unable to hear my voice in a prayer I wanted to smash against sky's gates Ripping them off hinges With fingers curled into frozen hooks Driven by a maddening pain Roaring inside a hollow mind, I bent, I huddled, Head between knees Arms around legs squeezing with mindless power The skull screeching at the bone joints Happily awaiting that final all liberating crack That will send it into eternal numbness... The box lost beyond a turn of the road, That following emptiness, That terrible emerging realization of an end to a life chapter, A life chapter... there is no such thing... a life. I knew the skies should fall down and drag the world into nothingness The life into non existence All creation into dispersing dust, Did the skies fall down? They did, My world into nothingness, My life into non existence, My creation into dispersing dust... Back into the womb, Waiting, waiting, waiting for next dawn to come. Sleep, my baby, hush and sleep, Let the winter's gentle grip Snow your heart in frozen pleasure Way off bounds and out of measure, Let a summer oceans' deep Be your treasure... Sleep, my baby, smile don't cry, Let the winter's lullaby Snow the patience in your worry Way beyond all tear and sorry, Let the summer soft and shy Be your glory... Sleep my baby, grey of cloud Let the winter's magic shroud Snow with starlight's blazing shower Way from bliss to raging power, Let all summers start with... proud... You, my flower...

• back to list   • back   • next

The Lover... I promised you a kingdom, And horses wild of mane, A jewels studded sceptre And nuggets covered plain, I promised you the mountains, A knee deep roses lane, All yesterday's tomorrows With sun drops light to stain, I promised you the magic Of word whispered in vain To turn to blooming garden Of desert blessed by rain... You said - don't want your kingdom, Your riches I don't claim, No wonders and no magic, No horses wild or tame, All that I need is freedom To lay down at your side Into the sun awaking Upon your horse to ride, All that I need - a promise When time will come to go My heartbeat and my summer Into your chest to sow...

• back to list   • back   • next

Invasion... Invading me, Flashes, sounds, lights, I am trying to blank out my mind, Impossible, I hear fractured laughter intertwined with sighs, With words I try to remember, I hear silence, Twined fingers, Twined regards, lips... The wooden bench hard underneath me, My temporary prison, Soon changing to a metal one, Then plastic, leather, A flying box, And then invading space, Uncalled for, uninvited... You open your eyes Blaming the invading harsh light for the reflecting shine, Cool morning water on your face masks the flooding rivers Alongside irregular lipstick smears guided by an unsteady hand... I see you in the mirror, Do you see me? Guess you do, else why would you smile As you sift through your memories' hideout Picking up the selected few... all of them... Reliving those moments in time forever gone And ever present... I hear a voice, Disembodied, mechanical, Instructing me to do something Which I hear but don't, Deaf... An immense urge to hold you, to hug you, So fortunate you are not here or you would suffer... You object, You protest, you would rather be here and suffer, You tell me... Raindrops crush regularly against the window, Competing between themselves, with me, I try to let them win, Impossible, No one can beat me, No, not now, not today, not ever, Pouring rain... what a pale imitation to life, Such a desert compared to the floods drowning my heart... Noise, rising to deafening levels, invading every unguarded corner, I close my eyes, Grateful for the memories, For each lived and relived moment, For the rain, For the never setting sun, For the beautiful pain eroding my insides with velvet teeth, For the stolen moments from the gods' secret drawers, For the fire you kindly plucked from your heart and sowed into mine, Untamed, wild, incessantly burning, For my breath, For my life...

• back to list   • back   • next

Calling Names... I called you my wife, I called you my life, The blood dripping heart at the end of my knife, A garden in May With daffodils rife, A blue sunny day... I called you my eye, My heavenly sigh, A queen on a pedestal reaching the sky, An angel at dawn So humanly shy, An innocent fawn.... You seemed not to see My faltering plea, Your mind in a world of your own roaming free, When... after a while You looked up at me And called me your smile...

• back to list   • back   • next

First's... First regard... Eyes searching for hidden beauty Hind evening shadows And lowered eyelids, Street lamp reflections dressing dark corners With glowing warmth While noisy headlights rush by Splashing flashes of stolen sun puddles Upon the mystery of an unseen smile... First touch... A fingertip reaching through the enveloping obscurity hesitatingly Towards the tingling flesh of a bare elbow Underneath a short sleeve's lace, Unaware of the advancing hand moving its way slowly Ignorant of the moment Finger touched finger Fiercely clasping the burning skin And closing with the brute force of a misadjusted vise... First kiss... Moist lips half opened Blindly probing their way towards the flowery fragrance Of opening furnace gates, Tasting the soft yielding flesh And softly sucking in the pounding hurricane As wild emotions take over And unknown of rage bites deep into demanding body hunger... First... Hey, kids, That's for grownups from this point onwards...

• back to list   • back   • next

Lovers' First Kiss... Do you remember that moment long due, I picked up the phone... "...oh my God, it is you...", The shiver that waited long years in my bone Asleep in an arrogant world of its own Of sudden alive creeping out to my voice Its powerful echo defeating all choice As out of the mindless receiver a tune Reached out to December with flowers of June, Soft words hardly passing the gates to my ear, A giggle... a click... an embarrassed ... "...I'm here..." "Where here?" "At your door, dearest imbecile fool..." My hand smashing back to its cradle the tool With fingers but ripping the bolts off the door Sharp splinters invading the nails with a roar A dimly lit cabin, a nervous "Hello..." A few rolling beads forging trails down my brow, A dry sounding thump as the door locked in place, Your hand on the wheel while my eyes searched your face, Eternity frozen few moments of life, Sparks glinting in eyes electricity rife, The fluttering silence of night's velvet cape, Bedazzling the perfume of ripening grape, My hand inching forward... a will of its own, Your half parting lips hind a girl's mocking frown, Three inches... then two... then a maddening one... A thundering world melting down into none, Sweet Eden erupting through blistering lips, Devouring sharp teeth cutting long bleeding strips, The scorching of breath turning wild screaming hiss, The never again taste of lovers' first kiss...

• back to list   • back   • next

Q & A... I pinched your nose, You said "Hello?..." I crushed your toes, You said "Why so?..." I asked "Do you want me to take off your shoe?" "This rose..." And you winked... "...it will know I love you." I pecked your cheek, You said "For what?..." I tried to peek, You said "You rat!..." I begged "May I slowly uncover your charms?" "You freak..." And you laughed... "...you will melt in my arms." I hugged your hip, You said "Oh, my..." I bit your lip, You said "That, why?..." I pouted "Allow me to visit your bed?" "You nip..." And you giggled... "...and I'll bite off your head." I called you pest, You said "Who, me?..." I touched your breast, You said "Oh, gee..." I stuttered "Do you want all of mine, all my art?" "Your chest?..." And you smiled... "...and inside it your heart?..."

• back to list   • back   • next

The Last Day... The hardest moment. The last day. A week, Pulled out from a child's colored fairytales book. Starting with a promise Carried over by the soft tunes pouring out the radio's oldies station As blinking lights and musical beeps accompany each of your moves. The rushing traffic carelessly avoiding our isolated island Following its mindless race to destinations unclear For reasons unknown, The muted purring sound of the iron monster underneath us Responding blindly with a growl to your graceful fingers' request Whenever asked for its well intentioned favors, The paralysing tension in the air Melting into the forgotten memories sea As fingers reached out sliding behind backs Gripping each other's body And bringing mouths within reach Of drinking each other's soul till burning lungs ask for pity... A promise made, A heartbeat touched, A dream weaving itself into reality's fabric. A week painted over with the colors of a master craftsman's hand As he sketched each day with different lines, different pens, Different flavors. So simple, so majestic, eternal. The forgotten lost trail where we found ourselves one, Forever first, Time... The steaming breakfast we ate on each other's knees, Gulping mouthfuls of sweet pancakes While drinking eyefuls of warm glances... The crammed corner of space in that hidden corner of world where Devoured by passion We poured into our bodies each other's devastating fire... The last day. When hands refused to unclasp. Eyes refused to blink. Mouths refused to talk. Hearts... refused to silence unleashed thunder... The hardest moment. When you pulled away, Your car rolling slowly away yet refusing to part. When you stopped. Waiting to recover your sanity, To join again a world changed forever Yet waiting for your return. The long minutes seeing you lost in that big tame rumbling monster, Fighting desperately an impulse to rush by your side Pull you off that island of your world And carrying you into mine. Knowing it cannot be done. Dreams come true. Fiction does not. Pain is real. In all worlds. The wheels finally rolling away. Carrying you back. Proud. Magnificent. A queen.

• back to list   • back   • next

My Angry Poetess... Be the queen who rules the beauty of my desert's howling lands, Over wide and shapely valleys flowing rich with finest sands, Keep in reign wild roving dune tribes wrestling wind's unending quest, Paint the flickers on a night's sky suckling ink from moon's white breast, As your molten anger glazes crystal flowers in the sand Let it roll, the pearl growing in your fisted bleeding hand, As a tear the depth of ocean cuts a trail across your cheek Let it shine, the blinding sunlight that your heart begins to leak, Clench your roots inside my boulders, sink them deep through gaping cracks, Follow down your savage yearning through forbidden fairy tracks, Sing each sunset's slumber moments making way for starlight's show, Breathe each dawn's life early mornings while your petals wildly grow Desert's yellow staining slowly with a dazzling rainbow's tune, Be the queen, become the flower, be the dew drop in the dune, String your letters long your magic into words of velvet hue, Let your anger fade to mercy... then to warmth... to smiles... to you.

• back to list   • back   • next

Garden... I built you a garden. Built... is it the right word? I seeded each single flower, each lone shrub, Cared for each leaf, cleaned every petal, Laid down each pebble along the narrow paths Losing their way deep inside mountains I groomed from stone, Cupped my hands under summer's rain to carry the water to build your sea, Borrowed dying spells from forgotten story tellers And planted sun rays stolen from an angry moon... Did I build it for you? You decided so and once inside You shed human clothing from fairy's body And naked as evening's sunset mists started running breathlessly Afraid to lose even one opening petal's color, Rolling pebble's touch, falling sea drop's thunder... Scorching lover's caress... Your garden, your castle, your wedding vows. I kept adding, building, seeding, Bridges across rivers raging down green chasms, Smells roving round magnificent treetops, Sparks lighting unending nights round your hovering heels... Your frenzied flights longer, happier, your smiles deeper, wider. You were in love. With me. This was your garden. Only yours. Ours. One day I opened the gates. Revealed the secret of the garden's beauty to the world And visitors started pouring in, Uninvited, noisy, mixing sighs of appreciation with the sound of popcorn... You looked at me, reproachfully, Your lips smiling, your eyes sad, your heart loving, I betrayed our lair, our home, our secret. You climbed the mountain top and went to sleep Hiding inside the tall undulating wheat field Telling me you still love me, Telling me you need more time. I took the heavy key in my hand, I climbed after you panting heavily like a tired horse at end of a work's day, Reached your lay and gasping out of breath offered you my rusty key, Offered you my deepest colored flower, Offered you my roundest pebble. Offered you my heart. You chose my heart. I am still wondering... why?

• back to list   • back   • next

Message, two... I know. I miss you. Was trying to find the reason, You were trying too, You thought I was trying to conquer hearts, I thought I was trying to get appreciation, How wrong we were, Both of us. I miss you. That is all. Terribly.

• back to list   • back   • next

Unintentional... I touched your scar, By mistake, I didn't know there is a raw wound underneath, Should have... You winced in pain, Almost cried, Looked at me with this mix of innocent blue, And accusing red, And loving pink... You changed, you said, You wouldn't have touched my scar earlier times ago, You forgot the wound underneath, Should not have... You were blinded by the bright vague dreams in a world alien to ours And you touched my wound, Underneath my scar. It hurts. You didn't cry, you didn't blame, you just said. I pulled my hand back, panicking, No, I didn't want to hurt you, I do not want to hurt you, I love you... I cried. Too late, you said. Do you really? you asked. You changed, you said, You wouldn't have touched my scar earlier times ago. No, I didn't change, I insisted, try me, Ask me how much I love you. How much do you love me? you asked. I am ready to offer you the stars, I am ready to offer you the moon, I said. You smiled. Words, you said, words are easy, You don't own the stars, you cannot give me the stars, You cannot give me the moon. And if you owned and if you gave It would mean you want to own me. I hurt. Try me again, I insisted. Ask me how much I love you. How much do you love me? you asked. I am ready to offer you my life, I am ready to offer you my death, I said. You smiled. Words, you said, words are easy, I own your life, I will not allow you to offer me your life, I will not allow you to offer me your death. And if you owned and if you gave It would mean you don't love me. I hurt. Try me again, I insisted a third time. Ask me how much I love you. How much do you love me? you asked. I am ready to offer you my art, I am ready to close the gate to the world and leave it open only for you, I said. And I did. You cried. And you smiled. Words, you said, the words of your art, You offered me your words, you offered me your soul, You gave me your creation. You love me, you said. Now I know. Now I know, you said.

• back to list   • back   • next

Death Of The Fairy... Departure Oh, venerable fairy, in worlds of gloomy blue Your golden dust has settled enslaved by salty dew, Your wings so soft and lucid to storm have fallen prey, Your rosy cheeks have borrowed a tinge of sweet decay, You gasp, your laughter hollow and sadness laden high, The whiffs of heartless shadows afraid to touch your sigh, Your wand of purple magic has drifted to the ground, Your song of waking summer a winter's frozen sound. The life of sparkling splendor that once emblazed your eyes, The beads your hair adorning like endless fields of rice, The crystal studded nail tips that touched to bird its breath, So ever slow embracing the greyish hue of death. Gone is your prince at sunrise, so many moons ago, Your lips a bleeding promise have branded on his brow, "Long as the fire's hurting deep in this wound of thine The thunder will be sleeping deep in this chest of mine, I haven't heard of healing to sickness such I own, In sunlight's laughing kingdom such potion lies unknown, A fairy's love for mortal... no, lover, please don't cry... The ageless law was broken, this fairy... she must die." Upon his straining dragon the prince has gone astride, "My sweet immortal fairy, my dying fairy bride, If sunlight's mighty kingdom knows not to heal your life My quest I'll take to darkness, with arm, with bow, with knife, Each night my dragon's fury will brand my wound anew, Each morn the sunrise glory will touch your lips to dew, Long as I'm gone the fire will hurt this wound of mine, Long as I'm gone the thunder will dwell this chest of thine, If healing gives I find it. If naught through endless days, My way your bed of roses will reach through hell ablaze, Your side I'll kneel and whisper my soul your weary eye, And when your thunder quiets, my dragon slay, then I." The wind is howling chilly, long silken dregs so thin Bite with a sharp desire to cut the wasting skin, The sharp of thorn your body torments to creeping daze, The petals shed the flowers, the roses fade to haze. "Soft muzzled baby dragons now cloudless skies defy, And buds to trunks have thickened and stones to mountains high, Thin trickles into rivers are foaming since of long, And nest of graceful swallows has grown to mighty throng, Oh, prince, oh moons so many you've gone to end of world, My body once so tender mid autumn leaves lies curled, My naked breast's forgotten the caress of your hand, My tiring eyes are counting the grains of falling sand. Your ways have you forgotten to withered roses bed And other maiden's flowers now crown your handsome head? If this my fate be given... then let your wound go dry, My thunder let be roaring... just once... then let it die." Return Through cracking bush-thick timber cuts path a scorching flame, Dry blood like crimson daisies to scales hangs with no shame, Six arrows deeply buried, five gashes raw and mean, Under the savaged muscle hangs claw by thread of skin, Forever onward crawling with fearsome bellowed rage Its wings the shattered dredges of power stained with age, Through endless groaning forests, up mountains rough and tall, The pride of dragons carries its helpless human thrall, Forever onward crawling through marshes deadly deep When wrath of wizards' curses through bone and muscle rip, Long frozen icy rivers, across wild desert's storm, The beast its human cuddles in pocket soft and warm. Forever onward crawling, forever... one more day... One sunset, one more morning, one lonesome breath away... There... mid the drying meadow, beneath dry petals veil, Mid butterflies' old velvet and perfumes long gone stale, The touch of death your body has dressed in rainbow white Your naked beauty hiding in sleeping rays of light, No flutter round your eyelids, no breeze inside your chest, Your rigid fingers holding a stem against your breast. The beast its heavy body has dragged against your feet, Its howl of seeping anguish far mountains gone to meet, A prince in broken armor down comes from depth of scale His eyes in fever burning, his face the moonlight pale. With slow a step approaches the bed of roses dead, Brown mud on face three fingers its depth, the flowing red Of waking wounds is mixing with crystal clear of tears And paths for dirty rivers across his face lines shears. "Oh, fairy, wait you promised as long the time will take, As long the fire's torture my branded brow will rake, As long as I might carry the potion to your ill Or else my kiss be waiting before your heart does still. I kept my side of promise, return I have today, From war one hundred battles and endless fields of slay, I served in armies seven, black knights killed thousand score, Seed arrowheads my body like ships at stormy shore, A dream of hope my banner, a maze my searching path, Through dire lands of terror beneath a sky of wrath Reached heartless wailing midland of night's unbroken cold, For demon's word of wisdom paid half my kingdom's gold. His eyes a rippling season of vengeful gruesome fear Deep boring to my reason of wish to being here, His armies served my anger till day of pay has come From eye he shed a crystal the size of rotten plum. «Not tear, but drop of poison», he said, «one and no more, Die must your fairy lover, day turned your human whore, Your anger curb, oh, human, or wage is gone to dust, In vault of eggshell matter this drop to guard you must. The wizards' laws unwritten by magic be obeyed, Your hand which touched the fairy, your hand the fairy slayed, When youth and fooldom married for grain of passion's lust Tribute your frailth is paying to passion turning dust, Your courage, human weakling, is great, your dragon fierce, Your will as hard as sunbeams that darkness' kingdom pierce, My words carve deep your hearsight fore crawling out of hell, One lonely time my telling, one lonely time your spell. If love you, fierce and mighty as handle you the sword, This riddle you be solving like nursemaid infant's word. Death is my trade. You're questing by me so she can live, One is the way, none other, for life... you death must give.» In smoke and waging thunder the demon's lair has gone, Oh, loving fairy wonder of graceful rising dawn, Your way I ride my dragon, my heart much torture's nest As dreams of crimson laughter paint pains inside my chest, Sweet memories assailing my mind with smiling smells, The deepest cut of iron fade fore your silver bells... I've neared... from daze I've wakened and down to earth I climbed... Your promise, oh, you've broken... your life with death has rhymed. Your bed... too late? my journey through endless draining haze Was punishment for daring a fairy's loving blaze? My quest through hell's long havens beneath the barking skies A wizard's sneer for fairies adorning human guise? Long was my road, your roses my touch turns desert dust, Your smile forever buried beneath death's ageless crust. Damn wizard, is my wages death side my lover's lay, The sharpth of ripping torture by her my only pay? Your riddle dark and clueless... one answer... I will know, One test... if wrong the answer be cursed and cursed your law, If ever darkness after will be my share of life My head be lain forever by side of fairest wife, And rotten twigs be laying upon the altar's bed, And crumbling leaves be crowning my fairy lover's head, And shrivelled petals blanket be strewn all round of us, And next soft breeze of summer... like gone... like never was..." He kneels. Left fisted fingers are squirming back to life, His heart over his senses has won the dreadful strife, Afraid... yet nestled warmly against the rugged skin His wages lies unblemished... a promise... eggshell thin... His frozen manner waking his left is flying high And crushes like a mountain against his armored thigh, With roar of pulsing thunder his chest is storming wild, His eyes a flame of anguish, a fearsome prince, a child. There, deep inside the rubble of palm upturned to light... His right its fingers fury bestrides with insane might As softly thumb and finger the shards pull soft of breath And crystal drop of poison they touch... if life... if death... "Time's here. The riddle's meaning I learned from pain of heart, If death the price for living then death is fair a part, In demon's magic riddle my faith has come to rest, Forgive me, oh, sweet lover, if fail I will the test." He stands, the shiny crystal upon your lips to lay, A tear of ageless beauty upon a marble tray, A trembling hand departing from touch of frozen skin, A drifting whisper rising, the morning breeze's twin... "My rest of life be counted, the moons I've left to stride, The half of it be parted and shared unto my bride, The score is not of meaning, be ten, be hundreds on, Together we be living, together we be gone..." Was this the right undoing, the riddle's hidden door Through it the life be swapping the death for moments more? Against the dragon's belly he cuddled weary, lone, The monster's tender breezing to sooth his tired bone. Short shadows getting longer and rolling west to east, A freezing night descending, re-birth its daily feast, Soft flakes start floating slowly so rich in blinding white, Your shape under the blanket wanes sinking out of sight, Beyond hidden horizons the splendor goes unfurled Unchallenged roves the quiet on dead and frozen world, The path before tomorrow runs long with turns unseen... A sheath loses its dagger... an eye broods dark and mean... End A flutter?... soft?... past midnight?... the beast raises a brow, The prince pulls out an arrow and sets it to his bow... What is this vane illusion approaching way from... where?... A butterfly mid winter?... the dragon growls his scare, Mid orb of flying rainbows the vision wrong of time, Its wings as slow of movement as lover's yearning rhyme, Around the crouching figures for moments whirls and twirls, Cascade of magic colors like twinkling echoes swirls, As mindless as a night moth in search for guiding light Beyond the desert whiteness in eerie stumbling flight... As mindless?... or as guileless... when slow its petals turn And sinks through melting snowflakes, its path a white walled urn. Nears prince, the thunder wakens anew inside his chest, The blaze of raging colors has touched the crystal's nest, The frozen teardrop melting in bleeding hues of red, Your lips inhale the crimson, your eyelids snow flakes shed, Through cheeks the pink flood spreading, through breasts, through finger ends, Its power ever rising with running shivers blends, Young buds burn holes through ice pools, your bed turns roses sea, The breath... where is it fairy?... the breath to set you free... The stem your hand is holding turns supple, bends and curls, Thick buds grow into petals, thin knots grow into pearls, A thorn... tip sliding softly long naked breasts... so sly... Of sudden left breast piercing... a drop of blood.... you sigh... Eternity Upon a fearsome dragon, upon a once a time, A prince carried a fairy, a bride, a dream sublime, And lip from lip were drinking the wine of evermore, And chest from chest were stealing the heart's eternal roar.

• back to list   • back   • next

No Memories Of You I Want... I don't want to remember you. I don't want memories. Memories of kisses softly stolen, Hugs forbidden, Lunatic escapades under green maned long pathways... I don't want answers to questions of "...do you remember?..." Nor questions to answers of "...unforgettable..."... Unbearable the sweetness of past desires Crawling upon my mind with centipede articulations Each ending with a sharp poisonous claw, Unavailing the words of regret Tracing the fountains of unshed tears In a vain quest of recognition... I don't want to remember you. I don't want memories. I want nothing to remember. I want things to live. To hold your hand. To smell your hair. To kiss your bare shoulder. To see you at my side crying at a silly old black and white movie While I cry at seeing your pain, To feel you hugging the pillow in your dream thinking it is me, To watch your face behind a dinner candle... To hear you telling me all untold words of love... I don't want memories. I want life.

• back to list   • back   • next

Some Kind Of Magic... I sat beside you, Closed my eyes, Seeing you thirty years ago, Thirty... or so... Your skin the cool smoothness of a mountain lake on a starlit windless summer night, Your eye's depth of blue, depth of warmth, depth... Your body, the endless vineyard of sweetest of love's grapes, Your mouth... oh, your mouth... That ferocious trap cutting through my lips like sharpest of steel knives... I opened my eyes, Looked at you, Thirty years later... how did you do it? The smoothness of skin, The depth of eye, The taste of your body, The mouth... oh, the ferocity of that mouth... Is it some kind of magic? Is there? There certainly is. In my mind, in my eyes, in my heart.

• back to list   • back   • next

Dance... Dancing with you, Feeling your skin sliding inside the smooth silken sheath enslaving it, One shoulder strap fallen baring the smoothness of a thin shoulder, My left hand's fingers twined with your right hand's Feeling the fingers' metal decorating ribbons click against each other While hanging loose at the side of your body Touching from time to time your thigh And feeling the rippling muscles along it, My right hand low on your back, Your low cut allowing my fingers the warm taste of skin stretched on your spine... And lower, Playfully pulling at the robe's fragile seam lines Almost tearing them apart, Your undulating waist realising in my mind something between hypnosis And sea sickness, Our knees, touching, separating, touching While our thighs push against each other Time fleetingly, time lengthwise, Time your hip squeezing teasingly into my body Lighting me, burning me... I feel your breasts pushing against my shirt, my chest, Your nipples hard against the fabric testing its strength And testing my mind's sanity, My head buried in the forest of your artistically disarrayed hair While my mouth bites softly your ear, Your mouth touches softly my cheek And the end of your tongue tastes my pungent after shave, Your right hand light behind my head Ruffling the short hair at the nape of my neck Sending tingling sensations through my body, Hurling killing emotions into my chest... The music soft, The light soft, In our ears, in our minds, The music never ending, In our hearts. May I dance you through life, my love?...

• back to list   • back   • next

Illusion... I tried to find you... something hurt... The tender raging craving... "Love... I'm here, my heart please pardon..." You smiled. "You fool... I love you. Come..." And summer roams my garden... * I tried to tell you something sweet, Rich smells of menthe burning your skin like velvet's longing fingers, You did not hear. The bitter taste Of menthe in verses lingers. I tried to write you something wild, Desire's fists ripping your breasts with countless tender roses, You did not see. The clawing touch Of thorns soft pain imposes. I tried to rhyme you something strange, Sun roving robins in your mind a forest's drunken clearing, You did not feel. The rasping sound Of morn the landscape shearing. * I tried to leave you... something hurt... The bitter clawing rasping... "Love... I leave, my heart please pardon..." You smiled. "You fool... I love you. Stay..." And summer roams my garden...

• back to list   • back   • next

Pure... Drizzle. You pull tight the impermeable jacket around your middle, Uncaring about your hair, Your bare feet, Just the jacket around your middle, Tight, Protecting the life growing in there, Caring, And the hell with the rest, the rest wants to enjoy the rain... The soft drizzle, Mist size droplets Penetrating to the roots of your hair Accumulating to pearl size drops And then rolling down your neck, into your collar, Down along your spine, Their touch so much like the tips of his fingers... Shivers... your skin crawling with the pleasure of the memory... I love grey!... you feel like shouting And the imposing uniformly grey landscape above your head Welcomes your uplifted face Allowing the water laden branch above your head to give way under the weight, Bending, And suddenly granting freedom to a cascade of small rivulets to fly down to earth Their short lived excitement, Passing by your eyes, your laughing open mouth, your stretched fingers... Ouch... you wince, A tiny foot kicking your belly from the inside Then going to sleep again... Pregnant at forty six, You're a fool your friends tell you, You are insane your grown up kids tell you Before leaving with their wives and your grandchildren back to their homes Leaving you in the big empty house with the cat and the fifty three year old parrot, Ha, you are older than me, you shouted cheerfully at the dumb bird Before venturing into the rain And compensated with a generous portion of sugared seeds, His preferred treat.... And you, lover, you interrogate your memory, What is your preferred treat except for my lips, and my breasts, and my?... You explode in laughter as you step into a puddle and mud squishes up your thighs. Who is the father? asked indignantly your daughter in law, If John was here... she adds, But John is not here and I am alive, you think And smile at her while she munches on your ninth peanut butter cookie, And you are a bit overweight my dear, you say Watching her two hundred twenty pounds frame getting up indignantly Taking your son's hand in her left hand and a tenth cookie in her right and leaving. Quiet. So quiet. The drizzle outside so inviting, you simply could not resist. You had to join. You joined. As happy as a five year old playing forbidden games, Games of rain, Games of love, Games of love, Games of love... Who is the father?... you repeat in your mind Laying cool wet fingers on the stretched skin of your belly, Who is your father?... The rain feels warm. You remove the jacket, Open the zipper and lovingly lay down the dress in a pool of mud, Take off bra, panties, Naked like the mighty trees around you You lift your head to the sky And remembering long forgotten ballet lessons Start pirouetting on outstretched toes... The father is the man I will die loving, The sweet rain in my life, The torrential music in my ears, The owner of the life grain seeded in my belly... The father is the only man whom I offered to touch my body After he offered me to touch my heart... The drizzle pours on. Your eyes are closed Welcoming the help offered by the picking rain Into creating the sweeping deluge of tears streaming down your cheeks, your hair, Your protruding belly And drowning mother earth in so much happiness... A tiny foot deforms again your perfection. You touch the spot and bring the fingers to your lips. Soon, my prince, Soon you will know love like none has ever known. Except for me. I love you.

• back to list   • back   • next

Terminal Love... (Pure. The Prequel...) Three years ago. Even your silence is poetry, I told her. But I am never silent, she protested. You sleep, I said, don't you? Silence. I could hear her fingers freezing above the keyboard, Her eyes reading again the words on the screen Trying to penetrate a meaning she was unsure of, Closing her eyes and remembering earlier remarks shy, irrelevant, revealing, Scratching the cat between the ears Then suddenly feeling her heart losing its regular step As she penetrated the riddle's inner core... Her eyes returned to the screen No longer averting their regard from what she knew is there, is coming, Allowing it to happen by laying out the first lines herself...       ...When the silent western gateways       Waken up from daylong slumber       Stretching lazy fire fingers       Long horizons painted amber,       Slides, reluctantly obeying,       The majestic ball of fury,       Liquid hell pleading for mercy       From a ruthless heaven's jury... ...said the poet, she wrote.       ...Let my rays' thin spider fabric       Linger back a lonely instant       Time my bulk through yawning ocean       Sinks to worlds a nightlife distant,       And while white's eternal colors       Dress this mortal's raving petals,       I will flare one timeless eon       As her passion my heart nettles... ...said the sun, said the poet, said I, I wrote. Her eyes riveted to the screen, Hoping not to see, knowing she will see, Yearning for a reality molded into a frozen dream, Magnificent, dead, like a masterpiece. Marry me... I said. You know I cannot... she said. I know you cannot. Love me... I said. You know I do... she said. I know you do... I said. Three years ago. Three years day and day. Love unending. She said the words, I rhymed them, She colored her moods in her words, Times a girl, times a forest, Times an autumn day chasing unbearable summer heat With sparkling moist breaths Born depth of musty wells bordered by blooming daffodils... Blue daffodils... I rhymed... Yellow... she chimed... Blue, I insisted, blue, like the white of your teeth, like the red of your lips... Blue, she agreed, like the crystal of your eye, like the golden thread of your love... For long days the screen would stay blank, A blinking cursor beating with mathematical accuracy each so and so seconds, An empty mailbox, a pain at the bottom of a deep pit hidden inside my belly, And then suddenly thousands of suns Bursting like tons of popcorn in a forest fire magnified to cosmic dimensions Filling my screen with screams of pleasure, of fascination, Interminable excuses as sweet as a virgin's first cry of delight That so few have ever had the right to hear, And kisses, so many, raging, intoxicating, delirious death in a shattering embrace... Ending with a question. Always. Do you love me? Turning off the screen. Always. Before I had time to answer. Afraid of the answer. Knowing the answer. Telling me the answer next time. You do. Three years ago. Three years day and day. Three years now. Yesterday. We never met, she said. We never met, I agreed. We never touched, she said. We never touched, I agreed. The never line, the line I feared beyond reason, The nightmare seeded in each of my ecstatic dreams Now finally showing signs of life on its own, Our enthralling garden finally giving in through one long neglected corner To an all powerful weed threatening the lanes, the trees, And most of all the flowers, oh, the flowers... We will never meet, she said, I did not respond. We will never touch, she said. I did not respond. I could hear her fingers flying softly above the keyboard, Hardly touching, Rare, lonely drops of rain hitting randomly one of the keys And splashing crystallizing salt sparks upon the unblinking screen. My mind's eye lowered its eyelid, Imagining her delicate hand Holding a long white shapely feather between her fingers, Dipping it from time to time in blue-violet ink And branding small words in impeccable calligraphy on a piece of satin paper... A queen in love with the accused delivering her sentence... A death sentence... Don't answer, my screen will be off as you do, I will never know your answer, I don't want to know your answer, I love you too much for an answer. You gave me life, So much life, An exquisitely exotic garden of words garnered at petals' rims, Decorating oddly shaped leaves, Hanging onto the flowing mists undeciphered messages Waiting for a magic wand to turn them into colorful fountains of warmth... All I gave you is but time. Loss. Time. There is so much life in you, So much joy, So much need for a woman's subtle breeze       To blow raging fires in your hidden desires,       To merge in your nights with your body's delights,       To shave your day's stubble and sooth your heart's rubble... My last mail. Don't cry. I do. I cannot stand your pain. I am but a screen, Cold to the touch, silent, breathless, You don't see my smile, you don't hear my sigh, So far away. Unreachable, Non existent, a dream we had, We cannot have. You are so warm, Passion flows so freely through your veins... Oh, the flourishing storms in my mind so hurtful... Warmth you need, A warm woman you need, warm, close, warm, There, They are, Waiting for you, Close to you, to your touch, to your need, To a body locked away from life for three long years       To love you, oh, madly,       For hours and years,       To kiss, oh, so gladly,       Your sadness and fears,       To share in your death       When the sun rises west       Your lips to her breath,       Your hand to her breast... You are free. The screen went blank. Nooo... I screamed, you witch, you life, you love... How did you do it, What kind of trick is that, Oh, back... please come back, Please... But the cursor kept blinking at its mathematically calculated corner, With its mathematically calculated accuracy, Counting accurately the flood of life leaving my body And evaporating through my fingertips. * A knock at the door. She opened. Blue lines decorating the wasted gardens underneath her eyes Like a field of bluebells growing wild along a rift in the landscape. She signed the registered letter, Big red warning words on the envelope about the futility of tax evasion, Crime, punishment... She sighed, tired, numb. Opened the envelope. A narrow long piece of paper fell to the carpet. She picked it up. One word written on it. Ring. She closed her eyes, Waited. Minutes. Hours. A smile frozen on her lips. Then she took the narrow piece of paper, Dropped a point of glue on it And wrapped it around the second from left finger of her left hand. She knew the choice is out of her hand, The magic was working, There was no volition in the move that With a sharp snapping sound Turned the screen on. No volition... so why were there thousands of horses running wild In the desert of her chest? The message waiting for her on the screen said Lover, Do you admire my sleight of hand Or are you ready to bite my head off In one of those wonderful excesses of fury You never showed me you are capable of? Even when I angered you terribly. You always forgave me, Do you forgive me now? I followed your advice. Seriously, Don't you believe me? Listen. I met this gorgeous, tall, shapely blonde, I told her I am a poet, She immediately unzipped my pants, Took them off And started going through my pockets. I told her I am poor. Then she slapped me And left. Took my pants with her. She stopped for a moment, The smile getting to life, cutting deeper into her face, The whiteness of shyly hiding teeth showing... I didn't give up. I don't give up so easily, you know me. I met this gorgeous, tall, shapely blonde, No... no, another one. By now the smile turned into puppy laughter, Rolling tears burning round holes into the carpet Before sizzling away into phosphorescent nothingness. I told her I am a poet. She immediately unzipped her pants, Took them off And showed me the poem tattooed on her butt's left cheek, The side of the heart... I  AM  BAD I  LOVE  DED I pointed the spelling mistake to her. Then she slapped me. And left. Leaving her pants with me. She reached the bottom line on the screen, By now laughing hysterically, Rolling on the floor With the cat chasing angrily the beads rolling from her eyes And magically vanishing at claw's touch. She stopped. Frightened. The following screen waiting to be pushed up. All she had to do is push one key. She pushed the key. It started Child, If it was this world's reality that I was looking for I would have found it. Easily. If it was dancing, loving, making love I could have found it. Easily. If I could not have waited eternity I would not have made the first three years steps of eternity's road... And now six more months since you disappeared. I wanted the legend, You gave me the legend. I wanted the queen, You made me a knight. I wanted the passion, You poured upon me turmoil, fire, hell, life. I wanted you. One day, you will give me... you. She closed her eyes. There was more text on the screen, She did not have to read it. She knew it. Not even wondering how. She huddled in the long sofa's corner, Knees to chin, Hands around knees, Pale lips softly reciting his unseen words...       Worlds ago, in molded armor down my muscles' ire shaped,       Wild my mount, the bastard stallion son to mare by tempest raped,       Light my sword forged depth of sunset bearing magic long its blade,       Huge the dragon's coiling fury, small the riding gentle maid.       Maiden, your's the choice of battle, craves my heart your tender breast,       Say the word and magic guide me carving heart off dragon chest,       Say the word and if your wish is I will breach my blade times three,       On my knees I'll pray your beauty as your dragon's slaying me... More, there is more...       Worlds ago, the stardom fury shaped its army's scoreless ways,       Mighty fire raging pebbles strewn long ropes of braided rays,       I, the sun, immortal soldier, blazing glare my warring trade,       Teeming mindless life my kingdom, and one smiling gentle maid.       Maiden, your's the choice of kingdom, craves my heart your tender lips,       Say the word and barren planets I'll emblaze to flying ships,       Say the word and if your wish is trade my hell to candle flame,       As your lips I touch in wonder softly breathe and wipe my name... There is more, does she dare?...       Days ago, my face unshaven framing clouds beneath my eyes,       Steady fingers wording anger under torment's strutting vise,       Wild the manner I decided past the edge to soar and fade,       Restful... calm... she touched my fingers, oceans far the gentle maid.       Maiden, your's the choice of morrow, craves my heart your tender life,       Say the word and born be legends... knight's... and sun's... and poet's wife...       Say the word and if your wish is I will dry my ink's last rhyme,       Never more to sing your beauty, never more, till start of time... She opened her eyes, Got up, Went to the screen and to the message waiting for her, Clear, unambiguous, sharp. Child, Say the word. * I was lying on the floor, My eyes fixed to the yellowish bulb, The incandescent wire slightly vibrating. I knew when. I did not know if, I did not know what. I heard the first beep. The if was answered. I waited. I heard a second one. Then a third. Then quiet. I waited. Shivering. Something was wrong, Not three, she knows, not three, Three is wrong, She knows three is wrong. I need one more beep, girl. Mercy, please have mercy. I remained lying on the floor one more hour. Hoping. Praying. Giving up. I went to the screen. Yellow incandescence patches dancing in front of my eyes, Three characters waiting for me, Indifferent. I stared blindly at the three Xs hiding my life, Then clicked them one by one. I-D-O I dared blink Just as a smiley preceded message started rolling in... You asked for one single word, didn't you?... She ripped my sanity, She raved my heart. She ravished my life. I love you. I still wonder... who of us said it?...

• back to list   • back   • next

Evasive Memories... I hear them roving in my mind Through pathways partly hidden, Evasive memories from times Of lust, of love forbidden. In eyes unseeing leaving trace, Torn chapters with no story, Faltering streaks of drifting pain, Receding gusts of glory. From time to time inside my chest I hear lamenting rumble, I wonder, smiling, love or life Will be the first to crumble? * Of sudden... how?... whence comes this tune This sweeping gale unending, The ripping caress... with one touch My bleeding spirit mending?...

• back to list   • back   • next

Did You Lose Your Way?... Did you lose your way Somewhere, in the wilderness of real life Along the path leading to that secluded place I was waiting for you? Did reality's hooks bite into your flesh And with one painful jerk Pull you back to the neatly paved road Leading so clearly from one nowhere To another? Shall I open my vein And mark your way With haze surrounded blood drops Like in old fashioned kids' stories, Over hills, down valleys, Over seas?... Do you think you will be able to find them in the sea? Not that it matters As, with the last drop leaving my body, Fathoms deep my body will sink, Sea water filling my emptied veins, Fishes nestling in my emptied eyes, Sand slowly sifting through my emptied heart. The sound of your heels hollow on the pavement As you drag your living carcass Through shops, through theatres, through beds, The sound of chains muffled to the ears, Visible in your eyes As you wade on, Elegant, proud, broken. When was it that you suddenly heard the silence? Was it? Will it be? Shedding your hooks, Pieces of flesh still clinging to the unforgiving steel Prey to buzzards and scorn, Your pain invisible, receding, Your gait careless, ecstatic as you rediscover your freedom And wanting eyes desperately start questing the trail... When the first drop you will find Let your smile be warm and kind, When one hundred drops you've kissed Find the three that you have missed, At two hundred... fades the trace And your eyes dress teardrop lace As through waist-deep grass you wade And your visions slowly fade... Girl, oh girl, deny your tear, Let my whisper find your ear, Let my flower prick your skin, Let my caress cleanse your sin, Call, and empty veins will roar, Empty eyes defy will pour, And an empty heart will wake Forging sand to crystal lake. As this smile your body rips Crystal rain will touch your lips.

• back to list   • back   • next

Lifeline... Life, The vise gripping your body In its inevitable embrace, Its tentacles sunk deep in your flesh, Feeding on you, Keeping you alive as long as you serve its purpose Then ready to throw your empty shell away. Symbiosis, Unjust, uneven, Giving you in return breath... And pain... Terrible, unimaginable pain... You looked up at me, Waiting, not asking, Waiting for a nod of my head, Was your wait long? Fractions of a second? I nodded, You hesitated While I took your hand holding the lifeline And guided it to my chest, Opened my shirt And let you plug it into my heart... To share the life, To share the pain, Sharing the love.

• back to list   • back   • next

Hungry... I'm hungry for you, you said. Your desire's entrails rumbling loud, Your mellow voice sliding slowly over my skin, Soaking into my flesh Like thick boiling honey, softening its texture, Readying it for the supreme sacrifice When I lie down on your plate And your mouth tortures me into voluntary submission To the ripping sound of salivating teeth To the crawling insistence of a rasping tongue To the sublime pleasure of being nibbled to death While regarding the cannibalistic satisfaction in your fixed gaze As you gulp mouthfuls of me. Your hunger satisfied You fall asleep by my side, My ear on your stomach, Listening... Quiet.

• back to list   • back   • next

Dreams, Reality... If I were a bird I would sore through the temples of your soul, My mighty wings would caress your heart with the gentleness of an angel's shadow, My talons would carry you away to a distant garden created out of pieces of my heart. There, I would sing to you all the colors of my love, We would share a forbidden devoted passion the world has not yet known, You would bless me with the seeds of life I would build a nest for my eggs And protect them with my very being. The garden would flourish with love, happiness, and new life. You would stand tall and proud, You would stay, knowing no other was ever loved so selfishly, So wanting, so adoringly... so ultimately. But alas, I am not a bird, Just a woman who lives on the wings of passion in her mind Fed by the fervor of a man's heart that can never be caged... Yet, both existing... somehow in the painful reality of another world. Secretly grabbing any tiny pieces that we can, Misplaced... born the wrong time and place... Soul mates who will never be complete, Living in two different worlds, Abridged by one heart. Do not cry for me for I am not sad. It would be sad if we had not found each other. In a world full of injustice, we found a secret garden to share. If you listen carefully, you can hear the melodies of love from within. ...Forever and a day my love...

• back to list   • back   • next

Beauty... Beauty, So personal, Can I define it the way you want it, Is it impressions, colors, memories you want, Is it a rolling whisper Sweeping you off your feet, smashing your body into thousands of sparks Igniting your imagination Dragging you through thorn fields Crushed flowers sticking to your naked body Dressing it in never woven crumbling petals? Beauty, Not sure I can define it any way, Is it definable? That day, Long ago, When aged eight I faced my most cruel enemy, Three years older, The one that shoved his finger in my face scoffing at my difference And making it sound an aberration Till I bent down raking the frozen snow with rigid fingers And hitting him in the eye, Falling to the ground with a pack of mad human cubs on my back Rubbing my face in the melting ice, punching my body, The pain soaking into my flesh... The beauty of the pain, of being cut down when refusing to bend... Is this the beauty you are looking for?... The girl aged thirteen, Same as me, When the sudden wind billowed her skirt upwards Inviting my eyes to a momentary view of pale knobby legs Ending in a pair of boyish looking briefs Colored white with red dots, Before she desperately pulled the skirt down Looking at me, begging with no words that I do not laugh At her tear filling eyes, And blushing to my ears I did not, The beauty of innocence waking up to life... Is this the beauty you are looking for?... My mother's hands, A lifelong of hard work encrusted into the rough fingers Ending in fire red nail polish Peeling around the edges Now finally at rest Unresponding to my hand's squeeze As she lay comatose on the large hospital bed Not listening to my begging words To return home before it is too late to return anywhere, Then listening to my begging words that she leaves Before withering amongst the tubes forest invading her privacy With the callous indifference of a plastic soul, My mother's fingers memory... Is this the beauty you are looking for?... A woman's love, One I never saw, never touched, never kissed, Living with me a lifetime of words, Phrases, Rhymes clashing mid of thoughts' highways Filling the void within with undulating whispers Promising an eternity to come once the irrelevancies of reality die away In their flesh drawers Making place for a raging passion immeasurable by human artifice Pulling God's sleeve and asking for recognition Of a fire never to be consumed, never to be started, A woman's love, waiting to never happen... Is this the beauty you are looking for?... Beauty, So many ways, Do you think I touched the essence of even one single letter?

• back to list   • back   • next

Letters, One... She looks at me, questioning. I smile, I smile at another woman, Tell jokes, dance, Share my philosophy of life over a glass of beer, Exchange niceties, letters. She looks at me. She smiles, She reads beyond the artifice of my smile, She knows that hiding behind the jokes, the dance, Sunk into the beer and coloring the philosophy And unwritten in the letters Cowers a forgotten little boy Madly in love with her Afraid of the distance, Afraid of time, Afraid... She knows, Willing to forgive the unforgivable Knowing there is nothing to forgive, Willing to love through the impossible Knowing there is so much love to share, Willing to wait, Knowing for sure that there is a maybe...

• back to list   • back   • next

Letters, Two... Do I fear your thunder, Your slashing claw penetrating my chest And cutting through my entrails looking for the heart, Do I fear your fire, Your storming armies crashing down my castle's walls And ravaging my fleshless body with endless streaking arrows? No. I fear not. What I fear... is your pain.

• back to list   • back   • next

Letters, Three... You lifted your hand To touch my face, You tried... Air, Empty fragrances filling up your cupped palm Sifting through your fingers, uncontrollable Like memories of me, Fading into the daily city hum, Petrol fumes, And telephone bills. You screamed, Nobody heard you but you screamed, Your fists punching tiny holes in phrases your mouth formed Bringing about raised eyebrows from your listeners So used to your blinding brilliance And unperturbed smiles, Grimaces, So unlike you. Legends, You closed your eyes, Looking at me with fairies' words Creating realities the way they should have been In worlds where there is no past, no memories, No regrets, Only fairies, unicorns, lovers. We. A legend.

• back to list   • back   • next

Airport Memories... Thousands of people, Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit, Hundreds, ok? Doesn't matter, I am alone... Rushing to the planes, flooding the shops, Eating, drinking, smoking... I am alone. Just a pen, a piece of paper for company, A bunch of memories doubtful in their veracity Chasing each other merrily, Blindly, Trying to seduce me with a fixed unblinking stare And build a past out of disconnected crumbs, Vision snippets, Dream flashes stolen from dreamless nights, Build a future maybe? Memories of a future to come... Wouldn't it be magnificent to remember my tomorrow? Why do you stare at me? Are you a crumb off my past, A vision snippet, a stolen dream? Are you a memory reaching back from a distant tomorrow Begging me to believe in your reality? Your fingers touch me, they are cool... so odd... I remember fire, I tell you, Why are your fingers cold? You remember true, you say, You remember yesterday. And you are tomorrow and tomorrow is cold? Oh, no, tomorrow is fire, yes, I am tomorrow, I know. And your fingers? I ask. You hesitate, a memory hesitating to remember, Then you touch me again, I wince in pain, it is hot, the burn sign on my skin swelling, I am your memory, you say, Your choice, Yesterday or tomorrow, Cold or hot, Sometimes you remember wrong, Sometimes you forget, Sometimes you refuse to believe But you can never deny me, I am your memory. I start, reading the words I laid down on paper Unknowingly, Bewildered, Did I dream it all? And then I know, I remember, My tomorrow, my choice, My life to come, Is the fact that I smile reason to believe I like it? No. It is reason to believe that I believe in it.

• back to list   • back   • next

Miles... The miles, Once so short, I see them swelling, Insignificant distances become measurable, Inches become yards, Words lose their power as whispers need be shouted Changing shared intimacy into incoherent meaningless rumble. I reach out Testing the distance with a phrase, Then several phrases, Then a poem, Measuring the distance by the intensity of the echo, Is there an echo at all, Are the tiny vibrations I sense sign of departing mountains Or pure noise emanating from a non returning answer Lost... or never voiced? I sit down. I will wait. I know my physics, I will close my eyes waiting for the miles to shrink again to inch size, Then to nothing size, Then to nothing. I don't have even to open my eyes. I keep whispering Words, phrases, poems, And when I hear my whisper returning I will know she is back. If I don't hear, you ask? Well, by then I will probably not have to open my eyes anymore. You see, by then I will be beyond caring.

• back to list   • back   • next

Lady K... Lady K, your blue of eye, Desert's lonely piece of sky, Jails behind its silken bars Passions deep as mountains high, Bleeding scars. Lady K, your red of blood Painting sun's ascending flood Claws its way inside your tears Streaming like volcano's mud, Burning fears. Lady K, your white of wing, Pure like mountain's icy spring, Soothes my craze inside your nest As you hug my golden ring To your breast.

• back to list   • back   • next

If You Knew... Miss you days and miss you nights Miss you wrongs and miss you rights Answer not my puzzled frown Answer not my rusting crown Vanquish depths of fading fears Vanquish depths of crawling years Enter proud a life's main door Enter proud awaiting shore Tell me when your smile is lone Tell me when your love is gone. Come and knock upon my gate Come and make me share your fate Hover soft and touch my brow Hover soft inside my vow Ask me when I up and go Ask me not of things you know In the depths of ever more In the years of endless score Miss you days and miss you nights Miss you wrongs and miss you rights.

• back to list   • back   • next

Sons Of... Inside of garden's broken fence I saw you feeding sons of dog, To magic lands of no pretence I lost you. Whence this blinding fog? Amidst of forest's fallen trees I saw you feeding sons of deer, The call of sweet enticing breeze You followed. Whence this steaming tear? Behind of window's tarnished pane I saw you feeding sons of man, Your smile I tried to paint in vain, You're fading... Whence this fear... you can?...

• back to list   • back   • next

Smilin' Rose O' Winds... Take my money, take my gold, Take my ring of age untold, Take my diamonds counted three, Never take my horse from me. Sunset red merged sunrise white Fierce a mare of footstep light Copper mane through coal black eye Roaming wild the mountain's sky Till with early morning's dew Rides my way the tameless shrew. Sweating rump craves for my hand, Angry hooves my shoulder brand, With mischievous equine charm Glinting teeth rip half my arm, Flaring nostrils touch my chest... What's that neighing rising west? When she bounces way from me Ever mine, and ever free... Take my honor, take my pride, Take my joy an ocean wide, Take my dreams high mountains three, Never take my dog from me. Moonless black merged snowball stain Fierce a bitch of devil's grain Ploughing scars down shiny bone Drilling gaze hard river stone Depth of forest out she comes Growling death around me hums. Hanging tongue attacks my face, Begging paws my caress chase, With mischievous canine charm Curling colts rip half my arm, Rubs against my legs the beast... What's that howling rising east? When she bolts away from me Ever mine, and ever free... Take my reason, take my heart, Take my soul to rip apart, Take my life ten years times three, Never take my mate from me. Wheat field gold merged fathoms blue Fierce a woman hot of brew Dripping honey long of drop Spitting fire rich of crop Holds my path this blinding gleam Magic born of wildest dream. Gliding hands raise torments deep, Brushing lips long fingers creep, With mischievous feline charm Shining pearls rip half my arm, Snuggles close against my mouth... What's that laughter rising south? When she tears away from me, Ever mine, and ever free...

• back to list   • back   • next

Versi Simplissimi... This debate       may be above       hate and love. Those who hate       love... above They may love       hate... debate Or perhaps       above the hate They prefer       to love debate While they do       debate the love Letting linger       hate above In this world of       love and hate There's a rhyme       above debate Let us keep above       the love And debate...       just hate.

• back to list   • back   • next

A Drop Of Magic... Above my head a tiny cloud... Whence born its thunder mighty loud As fore my eyes it turns to drop, So strangely proud? I gaze inside the grain of rain... Amid a wide and barren plain A waving hand beckoning in, Am I insane? I try to find a hidden door... The drop has soaked into the floor The waving hand fading and gone Forever more. I watch the drying stain aghast, One instant's magic... then it passed, I'll never know what might have been Tomorrow's past.

• back to list   • back   • next

Lilac For Me, For You A Rose... You said you're lost inside my love, The garden's grown a bit too wild, Red gaping wounds adorn the walls And chilling breeze of perfume mild Disturbs you, child. You said the paths have grown too wide, Alien flowers freshness rife Of strident colors loud of mouth Are waging war in mindless strife, You're sad, my wife. You said my hand has tended weed While buds from red to yellow fade And glaring sun burns desert stains Amid the beds of broken shade, You cry, my maid. Just tell me word, and bare of hand I'll rip all roots beneath, above, I'll mend the walls and plough the paths, Torn bleeding flesh my tender glove, For you, my love. Just pray my eye, and drops of blood Will paint the seed's short dreamless doze, And as it soaks away my life Will burst, will sprout... my eyes will close... Lilac for me, For you a rose...

• back to list   • back   • next

Cool... I pull my hand back, frightened, For a moment I touched you Then I found out it is the cool of steel Fitting so warmly in my palm, I pulled my hand back, frightened. I stopped counting at thirty two. Days, not years. First day was usual, You probably forgot, or busy. Same second day, After all you live your life, I live mine. Third day I felt uneasy, After ten days I knew, I did not have to consult my inbox anymore, It was not going to come. Your last mail was the last I received, No other is going to be the last. What was it you wrote there? Not even a hint, your voice so cheerful, Promising. Then quiet. No more. I don't even wonder why, What good? It is over. Was it there at all, ever? Fire, passion, promises... Was it there at all? I pull my hand back, frightened, For a moment I touched you Cool, warm... I stretch my fingers again, I want to touch you, curl my fingers around you... So cool... So warm...

• back to list   • back   • next

Once Upon... Once upon a time You begged me for a smile, If blue as teardrops in your eyes If long as long's the Nile. Once one early spring You read my rhyme aloud, And mixing sigh with whispered verse You wove a silken shroud. Once my garden's floor I paved with words for you, With kites attached to flower stems Revelling in the dew. Once I was a king My kingdom was your heart, Proud vowel knights on poem's land Obeyed my humble art. * Once upon a time, Once one early spring, Once my garden's floor, Once I was a king. * Yes, once upon a time I begged you for a smile, My eyes of tears are barren now, My soul is bare of guile. Yes, once one early spring I read your rhyme aloud, I learned to cower in my skin And hide from sight of crowd. Yes, once your garden's floor You paved with words for me, A chilly breeze now whips my brow Through cracks no others see. Yes, once you were a king Your kingdom was my heart, My wish obey, I beg of you, My heart do take. Then part.

• back to list   • back   • next

Poetic Ends... I often wondered how the end would look like. Poetic promises changing into literary sentences, Sentences changing into randomly disconnected words, Words disintegrating into their basic components of Vowels, consonants, Of impeccable calligraphy and meaningless reason Like exploding pellets from a shotgun with no independent mind of their own Screeching the way broken pebbles would grate between teeth Before sinking indifferently in the flesh Cutting veins, heart, life... The end, When the only meaningful message left Hides undecipherable inside the twenty six letters of the abc...

• back to list   • back   • next

Colors Mill... I danced with a woman, Her feet on the ground, I was floating, Her eyes closed, I was looking behind her eyelids Straight into her dreams, Black and white With stains of forest green wherever I dared touch them. I sang with a woman, Her mouth smiling, I was echoing her smile, Her eyes closed, I was roving free inside her garden Stealing apples from her hidden trees, Green Painting them pollen gold with the calligraphy of my rhyme. I made love with a woman, Her body giving, I was robbing her of her heart, Her eyes closed, I was gulping mouthfuls of her body's flower Looking for the cherries, Gold Turning blood red as she helped my mouth pick them up.

• back to list   • back   • next

Inspired... From words unborn I drank the sound, In lands unknown I touched the ground, Through dreams undreamt I reached the sky, In virgin's bud uncouth and shy I breathed life... The butterfly Can die... On dewy lawns I lay my head, Wild rosebush thorns my tender bed, Against my ear a robin cries, Clear steaming stream of melting ice Rolls from my heart... Its thunder's vice Just dies... Inside a book's old crumbling walls A broken verse through pages crawls, In vain its search for mating bride, The years have slowed its reaching stride, One mighty roar... With fading tide It died...

• back to list   • back   • next

Icicles... I have millions of tears left, Happiness tears, Stored some undefined place, hidden, Waiting for the dam to be broken Before flooding the valleys, the oceans, Feeding salt to daffodils, and lilies, and roses... Did you know that flowers thrive on the salty trail of happiness tears? I wonder, will I be seeing the desert blooming in their wake? I have few pain tears left, So few... I wonder, don't remember shedding them, Where did I spill them, Could it be they hide in between the lines, the words, the rhymes, Did I write so many poems Or maybe they hide also in between the verses of my unwritten poems? Or in the dreams I don't remember? Icicles, Cold breath freezing the tears before they reach my cheeks, I don't know, are these the few pain tears I still have left Cowering away deep in their windowless burrows Yet unable to resist the urge Or the countless happiness tears eager to burst out at a price of freezing death? Poor tears, Powerless against the fearsome cold invading their life As I lean forward trying to recover some warmth from my dwindling sanity Allowing the beautiful icicles stretch against their will Till my body cannot carry the weight anymore And finally tumbles down to its interminable death. My last irrelevant thought being Will I hear the sound of breaking ice Before fading away knowledgeable of abandon and unknowledgeable of reason?...

• back to list   • back   • next

Your Number... You are not my number one Not my sun, My waiting gun, Not the path to heaven's gate Not my mate, My poisoned bait... You are not my number first Not my thirst, My body's burst, Not the flowers' boundless field, Not my shield, My life repealed... When I'm crumbling sad and lonely You are there, my number only...

• back to list   • back   • next

Going Am I... Going am I, Don't you cry. In the wake of parting May Whilst your dreams with flowers play Run wild memories astray. Down your secret depths of heart Hide my touches, hides my art, Does it hurt my sunken dart? Every sunrise, time you wake, Drops a tear into the lake Built of endless shapes of ache. Every sunset, time you dream, Drops a smile into the stream Flowing down your silent scream. Gone is May, and autumn's deep Lulls your memories to sleep, Sweet's the sorrow, and you weep.

• back to list   • back   • next

Pinocchio... You opened the crate, Pulling out shrieking nails from the humid wood, Nail, after nail, some you had to break, Layers of dust disturbing your vision As you persisted in the effort, Sweating, cursing, never giving up, One last rough point, a cracking sound, The cover coming off... What is hiding at the bottom of this strange, origins unknown, box? You picked me up from inside, Looked at me with a questioning eye as if deciding to burn me or repair me, Then your mind set, you laid me down on your work table And started working on me. The simple things first - Some oil inside the creaking joints, Some chipped parts replaced with new ones, Chiselling some rough points and then smoothing them over with glass paper, Fixed a new valve to the pump in my chest And replaced so many cogwheels in my brains That you may have as well replaced my full head. But you did not want to replace the head. Neither the pump. You looked pensively, hesitating, Playing god has advantages, It has drawbacks, risks, The risk of falling in love with your creation, The risk of your creation betraying you. You picked up the brush, dipped it in colors and started painting, Giving yourself the time to think, to decide, The brush laying out layer after layer of inexistent colors Mixed specially for me with the tip of your tongue And the dripping honey of your eye, The colors soaking into the wood masking away the pallor of the skin, The blandness of the expression, The transparency of the liquid silently sleeping inside the pump. You turned me over, your moment of hesitation gone, You ripped away the wings from your shoulder And before the pain had the time to set in You attached them to my shoulders Lifted my head And blew life into my wood with one long unending kissing breath... You stepped back, almost frightened at your dare. Watching. I opened my eyes, Blinding light forcing them tightly shut immediately, Then slowly I opened them again, Looking at my surroundings With the curiosity of a new born And the lust of an awakening toy, And falling in love with the first human my eyes set their regard on, You, So soft, so gentle, so loving. I love you, I said. Fly, you said, fly and try your wings, Try it to the treetops. Why don't you have wings, lover? I asked wondering. You hid your bleeding back and just kissed me silent. I tried a few flaps and it worked, The more I tried the more it seemed to be working, I tried to reach the treetops, made it, picked a leaf from the topmost branch And offered it to you like a flower. You kissed it and let it fly in the first album page of a rolling breeze. I tried again, leaving your dwelling for the hills, Picking leaves from higher treetops, other colors, other fragrances, Each time flying back to you and offering them to you, Singles, bouquets, forests, And each one found its way into your album and the album was getting bigger And thicker, And the breeze was turning storm... One time I put my arms around your middle and tried to pull you up with me, But I could not lift my body off the ground, I flapped mightily, desperately, but the wings could not carry us both... You laughed, you unclenched my fingers from your waist and pointed to the sky, Fly my lover, Search the mountains, search the clouds, Search the moon... I kissed you and flew to the mountain top And brought you a flower of ice which melted on your heart And dressed your breast in snowflakes beauty, I kissed you again and flew to the clouds And turned back with a flower of raindrops which cooled the fire in your heart And dressed your breast in steaming rivulets, I kissed you a last time and flew all the way to the moon And brought you a flower of silver rays which painted a sunset on your heart And dressed your breast in desires of sunrise. Wait, you said, where are you flying now? But it was too late, The power of the wings, the inebriation of conquering the heights... I flew up for days, for weeks, months, Drunken with the beauty, Alive with the glory, Farther, farther, Imagining I hear sounds calling me... where are you, Where did you go, come back... Imagining and flying on and on, Nearing, Getting there, Touching the sun... and falling in love with the sun... How long have I dwelt in the blinding desert? Roving in and out the miles long eruptions, Diving into molten hell and rising unscathed, Protected by my ignorance while wearing sun's corona to my head And letting the sun pamper my desires for its unending consuming fires? Was it days, was it nights, was it years? One day I played hide and seek, Hid behind Saturn's imposing body And suddenly the icy shadow froze the bubbling rivers running cross my body And reflected the blue of a long forgotten world... Oh, I suddenly cried in anguish, Lost my way and lost my mind and lost my life, Closed my eyes, rushed to the sun, stole a flower of fire And soared mightily down to an awaiting unknown. You were at the same spot, not even seated, Waiting, Not a tear in your eye... did they all dry away? Not a sigh on your lips... did your voice lose its way into silence? The snowflakes on your breast back to ice, The steaming rivulets back to rain, The sunrise desires back into shapeless knots of silver rays... I fell on my knees, my head bowed, My hands stretched forward, The offerings weighing heavily on my muscles and dragging my arms to ground. I... I brought you the fire To sow in your breast I brought you the dagger To plant in my chest. You... I gave you wings, You learned to fly, I gave you life, My turn to die. I... The haze of the valleys To see in your eyes, The poison of sorrow To strew in my skies. You... You learned to fly And touch the dawn, Your freedom take And I be gone. I... Tomorrow's emotions Adorning your day, Tomorrow's deceptions Decanting my way. You... I gave you life, You reached the sun, Your glowing love, My morrows none. I... Wild magic of pleasure Will fire your life, Wild gasping in terror Will ripen my strife. You... My turn to die, Your turn to soar, Your only dream I be no more. You touched my brow, wiping my sweat and touching it to your lips. I gave you wings, You learned to fly, Flight is freedom, Freedom you love. I shivered, the warmth of your voice freezing my heart. Take my wings, Waste my knowledge, Chain me to earth, You I love. You picked my chin up, Touched the tip of my nose with your forefinger and waited. You don't lie, you smiled. I stayed bowed, My right hand still offering you the flower of fire for your breast, My left hand still offering the steel dagger for my heart. You took the dagger, Cut off one feather, You took the fire and burned the feather, You took the ashes and blew them over my eyes, You kissed my eyes and drank the ashes, You laid down and you fell asleep. Wake up, I wailed, wake up... But you didn't wake up. I lay your head on the thick album tome, And the hurricanes raging inside And the scattered leaves crumbling to forgotten memories. I picked up the flower of ice and your breast looked pale, And the flower of rain and your breast looked deserted, And the flower of silver rays and your breast looked bare And the flower of fire... and your breast looked lifeless. I jumped off the cliff and started flying, Days away, months, years maybe... Past the mountains, past the clouds, the moon, Into the sun, Dropping each flower to its home, Dropping into the sun, Burning, burning, burning... One day I will be back. And rip the wings off my back, Burn the feathers to ashes, Blow the ashes over your eyes Kiss your eyes and drink in the ashes, And then whisper the ashes back into your breath Watching you waking up softly to my life. * * * I woke up with a start Shaking the dream spiders crawling around my mind, The long wound along my spine aching fiercely. I looked besides me At the white naked back Curved like a pale half broken pearl, My finger tracing lovingly the barely healing trace Running from your shoulder blades Down to a waist Thickened by the growing life inside your body.

• back to list   • back   • next

Miss You... Miss you, Miss your smell, The one I'll never know      As you wake up in the morning Your flesh soaking in last night's pleasures you refused to shower away Preferring to let your body bathe disrepectfully in passion's tide Till morning light will wash it into a memory,      As you yawn and your mouth radiates a musty cavern's tinge Just before the commercial magic of modernity Wipes reality away in a cloud of artificial mint flavors Which is nothing but a camouflage to your body's truths,      As your morning's relief of night's accumulted body refusal Drowns me in its acrid haze Telling me you exist just a few feet away from me Ready to let me absorb your life's fragrances any future moment of your life. Miss you, Miss your sound, The one I'll never know      As water runs over your body Cleansing the many paths running from the shameless tops of your prideful femininity Down to the soft depths of intimate crevasses Relighting scantily a few sparks ready for suicide under the harsh neon light,      As stiff nylon fibres grate against the ivory refuged in your mouth Pulling away skin leftovers just one night old Peeled away from some forgotten body parts now growing a fragile crust Continuously breaking away as I try to move,      As a howling electrical dragon blowing its fierce scalding breath Dries away leftovers of raindrop imitations from your dripping hair Telling me you exist a touching distance away Ready to let me hear your life's songs any future moment of your life. Miss you, Miss your sight, The one I'll never know      As your image paints itself inside the door's inelegant frame Glistening with a few forgotten beads parsimoniously strewn over your skin And blinding me with momentary reflections Of innocuous rays abundantly enveloping your body,      As you pick up the lace garnered silk And hide teasingly slow inside its folds the players of last night's luscious games Parading before my eyes with make belief innocence The promises of all nights to come,      As your face approaches mine Your crossed eyes poorly imitating a mathematical multiplication symbol Telling me that you exist within one breath's whisper away Ready to let me regard your life's colors any future moment of your life. Miss you, How many senses did I miss mentioning? No, wrong, not two... Do you really know so little of me As to miss the millions of senses through which I miss you Making my life miserable In this unending happiness called... My love for you?...

• back to list   • back   • next

Freedom?... Take your whispers, Lock them into each other, whisper to whisper to whisper, Add a few powerful sighs, some devouring smiles, Keep adding wishes and dreams and caresses Till the chain is long enough To attach to my ankle, The other end in your hand, And drag me through every chamber in your life. Who needs freedom? Make me a slave to your eternal desire And let me wallow in the knowledge that freedom will never come. Freedom is for people. I... am lover.

• back to list   • back   • next

Someone Departed... Cupped my hands to collect your breath, Some smiles, A few words you meant to say but didn't, Poems you will forever intend to write, A sealed bottle imprisons the last of your skin's smell Moments before you screamed into submission And moments after, Your thumbprint on the mirror... how do I collect it? I stole a strand of hair while you were sleeping, Dipped it in your sweat Cut my finger and let the salt burn into my wound Finding easily its way to my heart, I licked your lips, Then placed the taste on the back of a stamp That one day will be stuck to the letter That one day you will be surprised to receive... Grabbed for the sound of the closing door And locked it away with the rest of the treasures Left floating behind your departing shape To torture me into unending death...

• back to list   • back   • next

Butterfly... That moment of madness... A splinter off time, With sunlighted meadows Reflecting in slime, And lullaby wonder Devoid pearly chime, And red hearted cherries Depth bowls wearing grime. You came. You touched. Was it your little finger? Bright sunlighted meadows Are dancing with shadows, Soft lullaby wonder Calms storm's waking thunder, Wild red hearted cherries Steal kisses from fairies, And madness off time Slowly melts in the rhyme. Metamorphosis. And shadow turns blue, And thunder turns coo, And fairy turns you. Butterfly.

• back to list   • back   • next

The Play... The stage is set... Deafening silence Drapes the audience. He kneels enchanted before her, A slave to her hungry soul... She wipes his moist brow with The edge of her velvet gown... He smiles lovingly true of heart, The bows his head before his queen. Her eyes seem empty and hollow... There is no window to her soul. The voices whisper... "She will betray him in the end..." She reaches for the steel sword And pulls it swiftly from his grip. Thick warm blood gushes onto the stage, And his screams of torture echo far beyond The thick curtains and dark hallways... Thunder roars while the sky illuminates A magical golden sparkly light... The gate at heaven's door has opened To receive the woman who gave all For a clandestine forbidden love... A beautiful white dove has perched Its self upon his bloodied shoulder... The steel blade was precise and cold... He holds her for one last time... The audience is sobbing with him... Neither heaven nor hell could have separated them... Only she... He begs her not to leave him and asks her Why, why? She dies... Never knowing... And the stage is set, For an ending that shall never be... And the dove cries mournfully For a little girl who was afraid Of the dark... Afraid of the unknown...

• back to list   • back   • next

I Love You Ways... I love you from where I do not know, Or from when it came or why. I love you with such closeness than when You touch your heart I feel my hand, And when you close your eyes I fall asleep... I love you with the morning dew on babies' breath, And the driving rain that pelts my window pane. I love you when all things are impossible And the hope for tomorrow seems lost and alone. I love you when I look restlessly into your eyes, Yet you are not here, nor have you ever left... I love you when the words unspoken are louder And I know it is then that we both listen... I love you when the pain is constant And there is no relief in sight... I love you because you let me love you The only way that I know how... I love you when together we unfold Openly and free to be who we must. I love all the different curiosities in you And each of them makes me a better woman.... I love you because I know in my soul, You will ride with the torrent winds To conquer mighty adventures and Fly with the heart of a fierce dragon... But you will always return to me...

• back to list   • back   • next

Wings... "What are you doing here?" I asked "I am keeping you alive" she said. She? I never quite paid attention to angels earlier. Come to think of it, I never saw one So I wondered aloud... "Are all angels female?" "You mean women" she laughed. "Why do you think I am an angel?" I looked at the heavy bandages circling my chest, The big red stain soaking through against my heart. "You said you are keeping me alive." "Yes, I could be a doctor, a nurse, I could be your wife, only you forgot about me..." She could, maybe she could not. I looked at her attentively, A youngish smirk on her lips, A barely visible flame leaping deep inside her irises... "You could have been my wife, You are not. Why are you not?" "Why do you think I am not?" I tried thinking back, One day earlier One week earlier, No recollection, blankness, void. She went on, not waiting for me to refreshen my mind. "Angels are all kinds of... Male, female..." she laughed shortly. "Or kids, cherubs as you call them. Even animals, all they have to do is apply for the job..." She laughed loudly this time. "Sounds almost like a business, doesn't it?..." I didn't laugh. She halted, looking at me in a way I could not define, There was something special in that look, why? "How do I recognize an angel?" I asked Just playing for time, Maybe I will remember something. "Oh, this is very simple, You see, angels have wings. Some have white wings, Some have black wings, But all have wings." "Does it matter the color?" "No, they are all angels, It is just a matter of fashion." Now it was my turn to laugh. Fashion, angels have fashion... And only two colors?... I almost rolled off the bed laughing And she held me back to stop me from falling... The fire... oh, the fire where she touched my skin "... the fire where you touched my skin..." I gasped Looking at the red spot with the single tear boiling underneath the blister. "Does it always hurt when an angel touches a human?" I asked, forgetting the pain, forgetting the pulsating fire. "No" she answered, sadness clothing her smile. "Only when..." I was suddenly impatient, I had enough talk of angels and fashion I wanted to know what I am doing here, Where is my yesterday Why this dressings around my chest Why this oozing red Why angels at all? I asked her. She answered. "You fell in love with me, You were dying, Your heart was bleeding incessantly, I had to make you forget, To mend your life To save you. I saved you, I made you forget your love. I made you forget." She was right, I did not remember anything, I did not remember love Or death, Pain, I simply did not remember anything. Was nothing better than death? Maybe it was. Why was my heart bleeding? I pursued my interrogation. She smiled again, She looked sad, she looked relieved. "Because you and I were not meant to be. There are earthly regulations, There are celestial rules, They cannot be broken Nor escaped from. We fell in love And my desire for you sunk deep roots in your heart Growing stronger and meaner by the moment And the more I needed the more you wanted me to need And the more I was sucking your blood into my veins The more you yearned for feeding me your life... The more we were breaking the rules... The more you were dying." She touched my brow with her lips, The fire of the touch did not frighten me this time, Did not hurt. "I had to save you And the only way to save you was to make you forget, To pull my roots out of your heart without your notice, To let you go, To let you leave, to let you live, To leave Without you hurting. You see? Because I love you. Do you love me?" I looked at her, A stranger, maybe an angel, Claiming to be an angel, So what? I did not know her, I did not care for her, I did not love her. "No, I do not love you" I said unblinking. No line of pain in her eyes, On her face, Only an incredible pallor And long shapely nails sinking in palms drawing thin trickles of blood. "I am glad" she said. "Now I can leave, now you can live, The last of my roots are out, Your heart will mend, You forgot." She stood up. "I am glad that I could erase the unforgettable from your mind. I am glad for the memories I carry I will never come back to pain you again. I am glad I saved you Because I loved you. Because I love you." She turned to go. She turned to fly. She opened her wings. I gasped. "You said white or black..." I heard myself muttering. She didn't look back. "Or mine..." she whispered. "Only mine. You painted them." One strong flap and she was in the air. "With words. While you still remembered..." The buzzing blinding life in her wings pierced my mind With an insane view of wildly flittering butterflies battling for supremacy With furiously waving flowers drowning in a sea Of frantically wavering rainbows reflecting from a desert built Of endlessly rolling shards of broken tinted glass... She flapped away. Memories... Memories... Invading... unforgettable... unerasable... Waking up... you were mistaken angel... unforgettable... unerasable... The burning charcoal we let our souls roll through As our minds devoured each other's fabric And our bodies danced to the roar of dragons' flare music... The invisible roots still sunk in, clinging at heart's giving walls... You were mistaken angel... As she flapped further away The pull getting stronger, The memories sharper, The tense clinging root yanking, tearing, ripping... And I smiled as I saw my heart breaking through the protective garments, Steaming red pouring freely out of its crushed chambers With bits of fast decaying flesh spreading away from me While I sank slowly into the bliss Of receding pain And eternal forgetfulness...