When my chick has started barking,
And I mean a chicken chick,
I kept swallowing three Prozac's
Every hour all that week.
It was thirty seven hours
Till my wife got off the roof,
Then she ran (she still is running)
Followed by the mocking woof...
Then my dog... the sneaky charmer,
Love proposed... well, doggy style,
Now he's chasing my poor woman
(She's still leading by a mile...)
Then I find to my amazement
That on top of playing ball,
This... what?... chicken?... chick?... the IT thing
Knows to fetch, to sit, to roll.
One by one - my cat was bitten,
And the postman's scared like hell,
I don't mind my shoes she's chewing
'Cause she rounds the sheep quite well.
'Bout a month or something later
My sweet wife - half starved, half lame,
After crossing countries, oceans,
West she ran... now East she came...
At her heel my dog, crest(?)fallen...
Wow... the chicken came a running,
Proudly bringing bones and snuggling,
Do you know what was most stunning?
At her... tail? three chicks, small, tiny,
Then two puppies daddy necking,
And the chicks started a squealing,
And the puppies worms a pecking...
My poor dog could not imagine,
Now he's papa - tail to bone,
And my wifey.... well, in horror
Now from East to West she's gone.
Both my goats her quest have joined now,
Cuz, you see, this chicken cheat,
Followed foreign language studies,
As of late she starts to bleat.
NBC said - "thanks, you're crazy..."
CNN... I told my story,
They just asked - "is there a blood bath?..."
I said - "no...", they said "so sorry..."
Well, to end my true (swear!) story -
FBI brought back one goat,
Seven ducks, a cow, two piglets,
(and the wife, oops... just forgot...)
Now they're laughing down to Texas,
And the sheriff's mighty sad,
"These good folks" he says with sorrow
"Ain't no dangerous... just mad."
Do we care?... each eve at sunset
After I have voiced my proems,
To the pigs and cows and horses
Missis chicken reads my poems.
Wife (she's taking cackle lessons)
Claims a lesson to this story
(Though I swear I hardly get it) -
"Chickenshit's no path to glory..."