Hobbies - Poetry - BitterSweet4
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Nose, Rose, Bow, Toe...

    With my finger
                Touch your nose,
    In my left hand
                Here's a rose,
    To your feet
                I'll kneel and bow,
    And I'll kiss
                Your right big toe.

    Here's a hanky,
                Blow your nose,
    Smell the petals
                Of my rose,
    Yellow ribbons
                To my bow,
    Scarlet ribbons
                Round your toe.

    To my forest
                Pulls your nose,
    To a prickly
                Bed of rose,
    Long your body
                I will bow,
    Making love
                From head to toe.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Six...

    When my honey
    Tells a funny,
    All the money
            in the Knox
    Is a poor sad
    Lump of cold lead
    Like a brain dead
            pile of rocks.

    When my baby
    Tells me maybe,
    May the day be
            dark or blue,
    It's a promise
    Saying "Home is
    Not where Rome is,
            but where you."

    When my sweet one
    Tells me "Hey hon,
    Where's the day's sun
            gone the while?"
    "Gone's to plunder
    Storm and thunder,
    Spark and wonder,
            from your smile."

            * * *

    I remember when I swore
    'Not again', and 'Never more',
    Till that moment, fragile blue,
            I met you.

    Days through months through years have passed,
    Simple, pale, so smooth, so fast,
    Till that moment, soft of hue,
            I met you.

    Never wished to taste again
    Softness sweet of love insane,
    Till that moment, born anew,
            I met you.

    Stale the pledge and worn the years,
    Fades the pain from souvenirs,
    From this moment, my life through,
            I love you...

            * * *

    Armed with coke, some chips, and nuts,
    Stinking spray (those flying gnats...),
    Turned the light, a mellow glow,
    And the swing was swinging low,
    As my eyes were reaching bright
    To an evening of delight,
            Oh, that night...

    It was thick, a tome three pounds,
    As the sunset world surrounds,
    Read the title once again,
    Poetry, From Man to Man...
    With my heart a flutter wild,
    In my eyes I knew I smiled
            Like a child...

    Poem one, first line, first word,
    Knarry... what's that, singing bird?
    Night's so young and I'm so fresh,
    No fatigue in soul and flesh,
    Webster's helped me start anew,
    Few words further, hmm, so few,
            I'm so sorry... shew?

    No fatigue in flesh, yet soul...
    Well, I empty one nuts bowl,
    And my courage's on the swell,
    Panegyrical... what hell?
    And absquatulate?... my God...
    Clurichaun? And on I plod,
            In my mind a firing squad...

    After page... 'bout twenty three,
    After scissure,... obloquy...
    And the coke starts sipping through
    Pages nine to fifty two,
    I decide, well, that's enough,
    I may be of lower stuff,
            Or... could this be bluff?

    My dear poet, you may be
    World's most famous prodigy,
    But as long as simple us
    Don't get half your gist or cuss,
    Please just take your gift of gab
    (Sorry, but it's kind of drab)
            Back to lab...

    So, my love, I tried and failed,
    My old simple self prevailed,
    And through chips, and nuts, and coke,
    Times I'll sing, and times I'll croak,
    But it's me, it's mine, it's I,
    It is yours, my laugh, my cry,
            Till I die.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Three...

    What
    you tat
    brat sweet brat,
    Who
    you do,
    blue eye blue,
    Why
    you cry,
    sigh tear sigh,
    While
    you smile,
    wile me wile?...

    When
    you can,
    fan all fan,
    Which
    you reach,
    witch you witch,
    With
    your wit,
    sweet rough sweet,
    Where
    you stare,
    there here there...

        * * *

    more like yes
    and less like no,
    more like stay
    and less like go,
    more like kiss
    and less like pain,
    more like miss
    you so again...

    less like time
    and more like wish,
    less like crawl
    and more like swish,
    less like drop
    and more like stream,
    less like crying
    in my dream...

        * * *

    I saw this guy, his gaze transfixed,
    I swear he looked kind bit of mixed,
    And on his face a mighty smile,
    I guess as wide as half the Nile,
    A thousand miles away from you...
    Hey, you did promise to be true...

    I saw this crowd, a hundred thick,
    As mindless as a mound of brick,
    A frozen grin, I wonder why,
    With you way home, they in Hawaii...
    Hey, lady, how... hey shame on you,
    You did me promise to be true...

    I passed, just now, a teeming town,
    Past Timbuktu and way on down,
    I stopped my count at thousands ten
    Of smiley griny dreamy men,
    I wonder how the hell you do,
    And you did promise to be true...

    One million... oh, screaming hell,
    This killing look I know too well...
    This flying pan that hit my head...
    What? “...count your brain cells ‘s what you said?...”

    Ok... one, two... three? Did anybody say three?...

        * * *

    Do you rock
    The Haley ‘Clock’,
    Devil’s brew
    For me and you,
    Roll and shout
    And twirl about,
    Skirt ahoy,
    Burning joy,
    Flying high...
            Lay on my
            Heaving chest
            Your head to rest,
            And let’s wonder if it was
            Really you, and I, and us?...

    Have you missed
    The Checker ‘Twist’,
    Roll your bum
    More than some,
    Toss your hair,
    Scream like scare,
    Tearing holes
    In your soles,
    Rolling hips...
            Touch your lips
            To my mouth,
            Sweetly pout,
            And let’s dream as if it were
            Really you and I way there?...

    Elvis’ ‘Sister’
    Till you blister
    Dance with me,
    Gay and free,
    Ankles thin
    Kick and spin,
    Garters show
    As you bow
    And you stride...
            To my side,
            Take my hand,
            Understand,
            And imagine what would be
            You, and I, and us, and we?...

    Do you do
    The Platters’ ‘You’,
    Moving so
    Softly slow,
    Breathless sighs,
    Gleaming eyes,
    Crunching fist
    Into grist,
    Shivers run...
            Bodies one,
            Bodies churn
            Bodies burn,
            And we know just what we missed
            You, and I, who never kissed?...

        * * *

    Midnight passed, invading gloom
    crawls across the quiet room,
    long the carpet’s trodden path,
    round the twitching snoring cat,
    darkness lingers drawers deep,
    rolls the gloom a lazy sweep,
    in his kingdom half world wide
    master, king, and no divide...

    Round a corner... thousand hells,
    what’s this sound of crystal bells,
    who has dared my stiff command
    break this far inside the land,
    what’s this flash of colored beams,
    what’s the meaning of the screams,
    how did humans dare the night
    stain with sparks of colored light?...

    On the floor, her eyes ablaze,
    mid a twinkling sparkling maze,
    sits a girl and claps her hands
    chasing gleams through narrow bands,
    running colors on the walls,
    rolling tiny fire balls,
    and her laughter blinding gem...
    happy, happy, happy am!...

        * * *

    Our love is feeble,
    Compared to the shine of polished diamond it is only the dull reflection of an uncut dirty twenty carat rock waiting for a master’s hand to reveal its sparking entrails,
    Compared to the warmth of a burning furnace it is only the pallid glow of a ray of sun in a dark day waiting for the master’s hand to blow the clouds away,
    Compared to the strength of a sun burned rock it is only a truckload of raw earth waiting for a master’s hand to fuse it into a tingling sensation of strength,
    Our love is feeble,
    Like a twenty carat diamonds mountain,
    Like a twenty suns skyful,
    Like a twenty inch thick steel wire knot,
    Our love is feeble, easily bought, easily extinguished, easily broken.
    Our love is feeble, and we are the masters.

        * * *

    little baby, don't you cry,
    no one there can tell us why,
    put your head across my chest,
    all your worries lay at rest,
    let me kiss away your tear,
    let me feel you soft and near,
    let me touch your cheek and curls,
    let me see your smiling pearls,
    and your breathing, and your sighs,
    and lets strike away the why's,
    in your ear a lullaby
    I will whisper, you and I...

        * * *

    If I but could
    A sound compose
    To this my rhyme so weirdly odd,
    A tear would share
    The human way
    And the devil, and the God...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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You Said...

    Be the wind that pulls my locks
    Like a sea of ribbon tails,
    Spraying mists of cool desire
    Long the wake of racing sails,

    Be the wand of wizard magic
    Dreamlove fairy’s very own,
    Weave my body in the carpet
    Flying you to lands unknown,

    Be the ram that rapes my tower,
    Breaks my wall and cracks my gate,
    Lay me waste and seed me flowers
    Crushed by you to welcomed fate,

    Be the sword that swiftly slashes,
    Carve my chest, my heart to save
    In your cage of golden silver,
    Lock the gate, forever slave...

      *

    Be the wind, the wand, the timeless
    Change of is to should have been,
    Be the ram, the sword, forever
    Be my promise, be my dream...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Abstract Three...

    I smiled at you last... when?
    A few year-long days ago?
    Was it longer?
    Lost count, time flowing by indifferently,
    Your eye locked on my word, on my mouth,
    Trying to force it with your mind's incessant need into the shape,
    Into the sound,
    Into the smile...

    I see you,
    Looking cross eyed at those close range lips refusing to open,
    Pulling at mouth's corners once with your little finger,
    Once with your cheek,
    Even with your eyebrow,
    Yet I stubbornly refuse,
    Because I am so full of empty, so empty of full, so distant...

    Numbness,
    Blessed numbness engulfs me...
    Blessed?... then why do I hear this voice screaming in my head,
    Asking, urging, demanding obeisance,
    Shattering the numbness into cutting fragments of maddening pain
    Ricocheting incessantly between walls of awareness
    Exposed naked to the recurring onslaught of want, of need,
    Of crave...

    I smiled at you last... when?
    Ever?

    And you kiss my brow,
    Softly whispered vow
    Crashes through the gate
    Smashing lock and grate,
    "Boy... my boy, so dear,
    Quell I will your fear,
    As the rain does fall,
    As the bird does call,
    As the tear does dry,
    As the day does die,
    As your smile I see
    Wrap the whole of me
    Layers thick as life,
    I'm your bride, your wife..."

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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At Times...

    You know,
    At times I am warring with myself,
    No logic, no reason, no explanation,
    I suddenly pick up a piece of paper and start filling it up with thoughts,
    Black, dark thoughts, fears, yearnings,
    Painting a future then scratching it out with a big powerful X,
    Yet it persists beyond the X,
    Mocking, laughing.
    Till all I feel I can do is keep on looking,
    Roll into a ball,
    Cringing with fear flooded with passion burning with desire,
    Wishing a wish to just lie down,
    And melt into... nothing.
    No fear, no passion, no desire...
    No memory...

    My eyes close. Quiet. What is it I seem to hear,
    Far, galloping nearer with the deafening thunder of thousands hooves?...
    A voice...
    A thin, smiling voice, a commanding voice,
    A child woman's voice calling in kid mockery to the world nope, yeap, mmmmm...
    Pulling my ear and blasting into it all of world's blasphemes,
    Cursing, praying, living,
    Waking me to life again,
    Closing her slender fingers over my guided fist and tearing the X,
    Make way painting, back to your ugly lair, make way or be trampled and torn to bits,
    Strangling my throat into a mighty shout,
    She loves me... you hear world?... she loves...
    Make way world or be burned by the soaring sunshine than engulfs me, enfolds me,
    Clothes me in the soft silken fabric of this woman's scorching love,
    Warms my today, promises my tomorrow...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Arithmetic Of Life...

    Counting down.
    Another day.
    Only x minus one days left.
    Yesterday it was still x.
    And the day before even more,
    Many days before I didn't care at all,
    I didn't count.
    Now I count.

    If I lived on another planet I might have had more days left,
    But there is no life on another planet,
    And the time would have been the same
    Only the counting units different.
    Do you think there is life on another planet?

    Do you think there is life on our planet,
    Our star?
    Is there anyone on our star except the two of us?
    No, there is not.
    No one, no life, no night.
    Not us.
    Not there.
    Counting the days left,
    Both of us together.

    I know you know.
    I know you know I don't count my life,
    Left to live, left to breathe...
    No one knows, you do,
    I know you know.
    Because I am not alive yet.
    I am not born. I count the days to my birth.

    When I conquer our planet,
    When I conquer our star,
    When I prove there is life on other planets,
    When I create life on our planet.
    Our star.

    There is.
    My life.
    Born through you.
    I am counting.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Four...

    Don't steal my thunder,
    Don't steal my rain,
    Don't steal my sorrow,
    Don't steal my pain,

    Listen to my thunder,
    Listen to my rain,
    Listen to my sorrow,
    Listen to my pain,

    Soak in my thunder,
    Soak in my rain,
    Keep from my sorrow,
    Keep from my pain,

    'Cause for you my thunder whispers ruffling through your golden locks,
    'Cause for you my rain's a caress landing on your eyelash docks,
    'Cause for you my sorrow's hidden hind the bars that line my chest,
    'Cause for you my pain is never, never, never gone to rest...

    Forgive me my thunder,
    Forgive me my rain,
    Forgive me my sorrow,
    Forgive me my pain...

          *  *  *

    Write me a smile...
    Is what you once said,
    Was fair Little Prince -
    Little Princess instead?

    And now we are one...
    Is what you once said,
    Was is not on the night
    When we two just wed?

    Forever and day...
    Is what you once said,
    Was in not in the words
    That I have just read?

    You gave me my life...
    Is what I once said,
    Did you really believe
    That my oath I will shed?

          *  *  *

    You tied my hands to no avail
    With some strands of pony tail,
          Paid my fee
          To get free
    Twenty kisses was the bail...

    Tore your shirt to ribbons thin,
    Tied my knees under my chin,
          Both we knew
          Me and you
    In the end you're bound to sin...

    You tried another wild bear trap,
    Used your bra's silk shoulder strap,
          While my mouth
          Wandered south
    You just had my face to slap...

    Not much chance, what else you've got?
    Used your panties, double knot,
          Man, oh, man,
          Was it fun
    As you tried to hide that spot...

    Did you give up in despair?
    Oh, not you, what's fair is fair,
          Bit of eyes,
          Couple sighs
    And I crumbled then and there...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Absolutes...

    There is only one way to say I love you,
    You said.
    I love you.

    There is only one way to love you,
    I said.
    Absolutely, completely, totally.

    Hey,
    You said.
    You said there is only one way to love me.

    Right,
    I said.
    There is only one way to love you.
    There is no way to say it.





Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Fantasies...

    I touched you today,
    You came into my arms,
    Floating into them like a hesitating snow flake,
    Cold enough to survive the consuming flames of desire,
    Warm enough to burn your brand on my skin,
    Unreal enough to make me doubt my sanity.

    I hugged you today,
    You poured into my arms,
    Sliding into them like a muscled snake,
    Strong enough to curl into a crushing loop around me,
    Soft enough to drown me into your deep embrace,
    Far enough to make me scream in despair.

    I held you today,
    You rested in my arms,
    Biting into them with wanton abandon,
    Our bodies tied with razor sharp barbed wire,
    Our skins glinting with blood mixed sweat,
    Our mouths devouring each other,
    The beating drums in our chests shattering our bones,
    So unreal,
    So far,
    So soft, gentle, wild...

    You left today,
    Leaving behind a token of your promise to come back,
    A promise,
    A certainty.
    Your heart.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes One...

    You said...

    Close your eyes,
    A deep breath take,
    Lift your arms,
    Your two fists shake,
    Touch my mind
    I’m everywhere,
    Touch your chest,
    I’m beating there.

    I listened...

    Closed my eyes,
    A deep breath took,
    Lifted arms,
    My two fists shook,
    Touched your mind
    At everywhere,
    Touched my chest,
    You’re beating there.
     

        * * *
     

    Vanilla ice,
    Red cherry top,
    Brown choco pearls,
    And rum one drop,
    You tasted once,
    And twice, great fun,
    I begged and prayed,
    You left me none,
    You even licked
    Your finger tips,
    I scooped my share
    From your sweet lips.
     

        * * *
     

    Seen girls scream,
    Seen boys dream,
    Seen dogs bark,
    Seen cars park,
    Seen leaves fall,
    Seen waves roll.

    Sweeping by,
    Fore my eye,
    Hasty pace,
    Blurry trace,
    Seen and lost,
    Fading ghost.
     

        * * *
     

    Are you there?
    Are you where?
    In the shadows
    Round the meadows?
    In the haze
    Round the maze?...

    Sculpting rhyme,
    Painting chime,
    Sewing lace,
    Weaving grace,
    Line and verse
    To immerse...

    Kiss and fold,
    Wrap and hold,
    Then let fly,
    Sad of eye,
    Dreams, desire,
    Torture, fire...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Autumn Wind...

    You asked.
    My Lord, how come your spring has passed away unseen,
    My nose against the window pane, from girl to maiden teen,
    Sweet tales I heard of laughter, joy, I learned of sun and song,
    Of droves of flowers making love to butterflies day long...
    While shivering with cold and fright, my hurt unjust and deep,
    Under the willow, night and night, crying myself to sleep.

    You asked.
    My Lord, your summer sun, how come it chilled my heart,
    Where was the knight in shining mail to rip my soul apart,
    Looking for burning summer skies and blinding magic light
    Through hollow sounds of gasp and breathe that rocked my bed each night,
    In day to day, in day to night, in night to day again,
    Was it the summer? was it love? and if it was then when?

      *

    You prayed.
    My Lord, this autumn wind, this sudden ripping gust,
    Filling my soul with sudden life, filling my heart with trust,
    Filling my love with passion’s glow, with endless gentle pain,
    Filling my chest with childish joy and woman’s lust insane,
    My Lord, I pray, please let me wed my autumn lullaby,
    And when the winter roll shall in, together let us die.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Make Believe...

    I knew it does not exist.

    Only in stories.
    Authors paid for telling it,
    An editor, several distributors, ghost writers,
    Editing, re-writing, erasing, spell checking,
    Adapt to popular taste, to buyers taste,
    Then sell it,
    Get paid for it, for making believe...
    Then forget it,
    Next please...

    Only in songs.
    Singers paid for singing it,
    Tens of technicians, musicians, conductors,
    Pushing buttons, moving levers, correcting balance,
    Try first, try second... try until it sounds right,
    Then sell it,
    Get paid for it, for making believe...
    Then forget it,
    Next please...

    Only in movies.
    Actors paid for playing it,
    Hundreds of cameramen, directors, hairdressers, investors, stuntmen,
    Pushing buttons, having lunch, pushing buttons again, having lunch again,
    Play, cut, edit, erase, play, cut, edit, erase... until it looks right, sounds right,
    Then sell it,
    Get paid for it, for making believe...
    Then forget it,
    Next please...

    I knew it does not exist.
    Love.

    Then I met you.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Message, two...

    I know.
    I miss you.

    Was trying to find the reason,
    You were trying too,
    You thought I was trying to conquer hearts,
    I thought I was trying to get appreciation,
    How wrong we were,
    Both of us.

    I miss you.
    That is all.
    Terribly.








Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Counting...

    Raining, pouring buckets full,
    Thunder, lightning call the rule,
    In the middle of the woods,
    Under dripping treetop hoods,
    Skipping old and gnarled a root
    With my sweetheart bare of foot,
    Counting raindrops, hand in hand,
    Counting kisses, grains of sand...

    Whirling, shrieking, storming, snowing,
    Virgin whiteness ever growing,
    In the middle of the field,
    Under thin and icy shield,
    Watching stars like pearls set
    In my sweetheart's misty breath,
    Counting snowflakes, north and south,
    Counting kisses, mouth to mouth...

    Burning, blasting sun’s fierce eye,
    Searing fire from the sky,
    In the middle of the beach,
    Out of world and out of reach,
    Hearing ocean’s whispered cheers
    In my sweetheart's gentle ears,
    Counting sand grains, waves and shell,
    Counting kisses, heaven’s hell...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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The Shape...

    Naked body, white and soft,
    In my arms you lie asleep,
    Round my neck your feeble grip,
    Pouting slightly as you did...
    blank...so oft.

    Naked beach, and naked sea,
    In my mind a crazy view,
    On the beach a thousand you,
    Side by side, the art of love...
    blank... I see.

    Picked you up, you didn’t stir,
    Though your body, warm and snug,
    Graced me with a mindless hug,
    Your thoughts in dreamland’s endless maze...
    blank...a blur.

    Kissed the shoulder,
    Asked for lips,
    Told my fingers
    Hunting tips
    You to map,
    Your peaks, your deeps,
    Haunting silken
    Tender strips,
    Aching, charming,
    Killing trips.

    Let you down on gentle sand,
    Dark and wet and fine of grain,
    Looked at you – a pallid stain,
    Pallid body, pallid face...
    blank...pallid hand.

    And my fingers trace the form,
    Breaks the sand... and soft the sigh,
    Down the neck and up the thigh,
    God almighty... wakes my love...
    blank...the storm...

    Laughing wildly, screaming rape,
    Rolls and rides across my chest,
    Cups my hand upon her breast...
    ...Sea and wave with envy sweep...
    blank...the shape.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Metamorphosis...

    You see, I am a caterpillar,
    You said,
    I see, you are the most colorful of butterflies,
    I said,
    You see, I am sand, I am lead,
    You said,
    I see, you are the clearest of crystals,
    I said,
    You see, I am a cripple,
    You said,
    I see, you are right,
    I said.

    I see, you are a devil, and you are missing the tail,
    I said,
    I see you are an angel, and you are missing the wings,
    I said,
    I see, you are a woman,
                and your mouth is a red flower,
                and your eyes are a blue flame,
                and your heart is a tender summer day,
    I said.

    I see you are right, I said.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Waiting...

    I am waiting,
    Minutes pass,
    Broken shards of glass,
    No goodbye, no word, no letter,
    Where’s your smile sweet lass?...

    I am waiting,
    My stare blind,
    Blank and frozen mind,
    Tight my lips and dead my heartbeat,
    Where’s your word so kind?...

    I am waiting,
    Autumn’s here,
    Shadows, quiet, fear,
    Gone desire, gone the promise,
    Where’s your laughter dear?...

    I am waiting,
    Dark’s the screen,
    Words unsaid, unseen,
    Lost the lust and numb the passion,
    Where’s your heart my queen?...

      *

    I stand up.
    My hand hesitates.
    Maybe…
    Another second.
    Then with a swift move my finger pushes the button.
    You are gone.
    The machine is dead.
    The channel is dead.
    I. Am dead.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Other Flowers...

    Plastic. Waxed paper. Painted silk.
    Beautiful flowers,
    Fleurs de lis in shades of stained white and fading orange,
    Roses in perfect reds and whites and yellows,
    Carnations shapelessly shaped in copies of self,
    Artistic perfection, unforgettable,
    Beautiful, ageless, eternal.
    Lifeless.
    Plastic. Waxed paper. Painted silk.

    Flesh. Blood.
    A beautiful flower,
    Colored by sun burn, painted by shyness blush,
    Sprinkled by smiles,
    Beautiful, aging, short lived.
    Alive.
    Flesh. Blood.

    I made my choice.
    Short lived.
    Alive.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Mirage...

    Round and round my arms were going,
    Round your body crawling, flowing,
    Hungry snakes of awesome power
    Desperate your body's flower
          To devour...

    In my cradle's muscled prison,
    Bare of mind and bare of reason,
    Sleeps your body bleeding power,
    Slowly melting in a flower
          To devour...

    Then my coils I open slowly,
    Sinful thoughts allied with holy,
    As I strike with passion's power
    The awaking gentle flower
          To devour...

    Gone the storm into the thunder
    With my body torn asunder
    By the dream's decaying power
    Where's this illusory flower
          To devour?...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Versi Simplissimi...

    This debate
          may be above
          hate and love.

    Those who hate
          love... above
    They may love
          hate... debate

    Or perhaps
          above the hate
    They prefer
          to love debate

    While they do
          debate the love
    Letting linger
          hate above

    In this world of
          love and hate
    There's a rhyme
          above debate

    Let us keep above
          the love
    And debate...
          just hate.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Together...

    Slide your finger through my ring,
    Burn your winter through my spring,
    Rend your chest and rive your heart and impale it on my sting.

    Catch my dreams in spider nets,
    Scorch my breath with hot regrets,
    Whisper softly in my ear and let me die a thousand deaths.

    Touch your finger to my brow,
    Sink your teeth to my blood flow,
    By my side your sunset ride... never go.










Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Folly...

    Floating dust in blinding sunshine,
    Random patterns void of shape,
    Twirling whiffs my sight assailing,
    Senseless doubts my reason rape.

    Rushing shapes stream through my vision,
    Blurred the noise, and strange the smells,
    Treading marks my brain adorning,
    Crawling pain the longing tells.

    There, beyond my mortal weakness
    Lies a land so sharp and clear,
    In my folly sunken senses
    All I feel is cold and fear.







Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Magic...

    We sat on a bench. Cheek to cheek. Ear to lips and lips to ear. Whispering in the frozen dusk words covered by a thin frosty mist.

    Let’s whisper tales,
    Of handsome kings,
    Of fragile queens,
    Of harlequins,
    Of saintly virgins,
    Deadly sins,
    Of fearful knights,
    And magic beans,
    Of moonlit skies,
    The little prince,
    Of wizard’s spells,
    Of... dot com jeans?...

    You didn’t smile. I broke the magic. The thin silver thread trapping us in its spidery intricacies was broken. Like the sound of broken crystal. Dead. The tingle frozen, the tinkle gone. Forever. I tried to take your hand, to apologize. It was too late. You stood up, a painful drop of liquid crystal in your left eye. And you left. Forever.

    The whisper hollow,
    Brave king dead,
    His queen and knights
    Roll drunk in bed,
    The virgins whore,
    The harlequins
    Fed to the goats
    The magic beans,
    Sick is the wizard,
    Gone the spell.
    Private domain. Keep out.
    Dot hell.

    I finish the warm, tasteless beer. A formless unshaven face looks back at me from the broken mirror behind the bar counter. Good thing I don’t have to worry about my overflowing bladder anymore. The bartender wants his pen back. I leave a tip and he mumbles something that could be thanks or a curse. He was still mopping at my place as I got out into the street. Opposite side a bar "The Naked Prince". A life for sale street. Life and love for sale. The sinning part of the city. Even the moon refuses to shine its light in the dark alleys. I open the car door and slide behind the wheel. Dropping the piece of paper on the chair next to me. Fumble a bit with the key to find the ignition. I finally find it. The motor wakes up to life with a deafening roar.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Morning Eyes...

    I woke up this morning with a terrible desire for you,

    I was rolling your body,
    Round and round and over and over,
    Your hands stretched above your head,
    Your eyes closed, smiling,
    Through bushes, through grass, through rotten autumn leaves,
    Sleepy worms burying their heads hastily out of the way forgetting their fat tails up,
    Grasshoppers jumping out of way desperately trying to tune their one string violins,
    Your hair getting caught in thistles, in fallen branches,
    Squirrels rushing ahead of the rolling path squeaking
    Only to peep later on furtively from behind tree trunks
    While playfully chasing and biting each other's tails,
    Daring at times to jump over your rolling legs then running hurriedly away,
    Until at times - two, five, got caught in the game,
    And I kept rolling you,
    Your skirt skidding from ankle to knee,
    Tiny red scratches adorning your feet,
    Dry leaves sticking to you, and petals imprisoning a buzzing angry bee, and dew,
    Then we reached the end of the hill, and I caught you, and we rolled together,
    I clawed to all your soft parts, you clawed to my back, to my neck,
    Undressing as we were rolling,
    Making love as we were falling,
    And chattering squirrels jumping over us in wild joy,
    Again, and again, and again...

    I went to sleep this evening,
    Nursing smilingly tiny squirrel bites...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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My Debt...

    How can I pay my debt to you?
    For waking me up from dreamless sleep,
    For carrying me into lands unknown,
    For whispering to me in languages unspoken...

    I was a grown up.
    You made a kid of me,
    And with a curse
    You broke both lock and key,
    You let me run,
    And wildly chase the spell,
    Because you knew
    That heaven hides in hell...
    You lay aside,
    And watched me climbing wild
    The walls of life,
    The depths of paining child,
    With laughing eyes,
    Your hands under your chin,
    Because you knew
    That beauty lies in sin...
    The days have passed,
    You waited soft and wise,
    The months, the years,
    You watched my lows, my highs,
    Because you knew
    At end of testing quest
    My rest I'll find,
    Against your wanting breast.

    I won't pay my debt to you,
    'Cause for my debt I want to be enslaved by you,
    'Cause for my debt I want to burn alive for you,
    'Cause for my debt I want to lose my soul to you...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Imaginary...

    I reached out an imaginary hand.
    You took it,
    You held it in your hand,
    Leading it slowly to your warm breast,
    Letting it linger there imaginary hours,
    Looking at me with round open eyes,
    Asking imaginary questions,
    Listening to imaginary answers,
    Not caring what they were -
    Neither the questions nor the answers,
    Knowing all the answers to any question,
    Reading them again in my eyes, in my face,
    Looking,
    Long seconds, each stretching indefinitely,
    Waiting for the inevitable imaginary kiss,
    Hotter, longer, much bitter than any imaginary reality,
    Each reaching hungrily for life in each other's chest to suck in,
    To swap,
    To merge...
    Imaginary,
    More real than any reality...

    I walked away,
    Retrieving my imaginary hand,
    Putting an end to the imaginary hours,
    And questions, and answers,
    Ending the imaginary kiss...
    Did it, did it all really end?
    Can an imaginary handhold end?
    Can an imaginary kiss end?
    Or does it hold on to its own imaginary reality,
    Clawing at it with desperate resolve,
    Clutching, biting,
    Till one day, one day it will break reality's fortified gates,
    Weave itself in its fabric,
    And become... reality...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Touching You...

    Touching you.
    Never did. Always trying.

    A few words you once sent me,
    Written in haste, in red ink,
    Wonder why not pink? you love pink...
    Reading each word ten times,
    Twenty times, a thousand,
    Holding your hand while it paints the letters,
    Running up their rounded sides,
    Down the sharp corners,
    Flying off the paper then landing softly again,
    Your faint perfume permeating the thin slightly crumpled paper,
    Invisible fingerprints decorating the folds,
    What is it? a smear? a teardrop?
    Or simply a pen stain that stuck to your finger,
    My finger tracing it and trying to feel the warmth it once absorbed from yours...

    A ribbon you used to pack a box,
    Kept it in my personal treasures box,
    Next to my kid's first recorded word, first fallen tooth,
    Next to my first love poem,
    Next to my first packaged pain...
    I tied it so many times,
    Then untied it,
    Mangled sailor's knots, then grandma's knots, then boy scouts',
    Imagining tying your finger to mine,
    Your life to mine,
    Coldly analyzing which one is the more reliable,
    As if my future depended on it,
    Defying king Gordius,
    Defying Alexander,
    Running the ribbon in my mouth, untying it with my teeth,
    Tasting crystals left over by your breath, by your mouth as you bit into it,
    Running my finger along it,
    Certain you did the same and we are now running the same path, the same road...

    A round piece of metal I rolled around my finger,
    It once visited your finger,
    Now it measures my blood stream, my heart's beat, my temperature,
    Sparkles hitting my eyes whenever it felt like I am not paying attention,
    Insisting that it visits every one of my fingers, on each hand, then again,
    Then inviting itself in my mouth,
    Telling me stories about the warmth of yours,
    Its sweet dew, its moist climate, ivory walls,
    Tiny deformations pointing proudly to the two spots you held it by,
    When before laying it on the velvety cloth,
    Before locking the box,
    You held it against your breast forever branding your heart's fire in its skin...

    Touching you.
    Always.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Five...

    I never thought I'll ever think the thoughts I think today,
    I always dreamt to dream the dreams I'm dreaming night and day,
    And thinking of forbidden dreams were dreams I dared not dream,
    And dreams of thoughts of dreams so strange I dreamt at hazard's whim...

    While thoughtless lines messed thoughtful words into a senseless thought,
    And dreamless nights killed dreaming seeds and dreams have turned to naught,
    I always thought one day I'll think the thoughts I thought and knew,
    I never dreamt in dreams to dream of dreaming dreams of you...

            *  *  *

    With you.
    You don't know it, but I am with you.
    When you look ahead seeing nothing but pain,
    Cringing in fear at unanswered questions,
    At dreadful certainties,
    Knowing that tomorrow the scythe is going to hit again,
    Wounding, crippling, killing,
    Cutting through any armor, any shield thickness,
    Your face masking futile anger,
    In your lungs enough air to shatter three worlds with roaring whispers of pain,
    The fingers groping for handholds where there are none,
    Your pillow soaked with last night's salted, out of season, rains,
    I am with you.

    Around you, when winter chills try to penetrate the thin layers of hope,
    In front of you, when dark horizons are searching for your eye to blind,
    Inside you, when convulsing muscles face predatory demands of bland realities,
    With you,
    Offering my bone to block the scythe,
    My eyes to light the darkness,
    My arms to burn the winter away,
    My spirit to carry away reality to the land of no return,
    My life,
    For your love.

            *  *  *

    Where does one end and the other start?
    Where does hell end? does it end? can it end?
    It starts, sometimes with a song, sometimes with a bang,
    Sometimes with a crisp smile,
    And the fists clamp,
    And the teeth grit,
    And your eyes wildly search for the exit,
    And you wish you could scream, or hit,
    Or disappear taking the whole world along with you,
    Only to find out that the more you struggle,
    The more you get enmeshed,
    Hell loving you, embracing you, cocooning you,
    Layer, over layer, over layer,
    Suffocating you in its intimate embrace,
    Gently reshaping your body, your surroundings,
    Your life,
    And whispering in your ear with unbeatable certainty -
    Hell never ends... heaven never starts...

    Where does one end and the other start?
    Where does heaven end?
    It never ends,
    Because it never starts...

            *  *  *

    I dream. Don't know of what, don't know of whom,
    Waking up excited, trying to force the dream back into my mind,
    No way, it dissipates into nothingness,
    Leaving an almost indiscernible trace,
    Warm, sweet, an unfair guessing game,
    Unfair since I know the answer to the question,
    Don't know of what, know of whom...

    So I close my eyes anew,
    Kissing off the grass blades dew,
    Arms encircling lamp posts one,
    Two male cops and milkmen none,
    Holding up my face and chest,
    Yielding to a strange request
    Hammered in my dulling brain
    Time, and time, and then again,
    Asking me to give up hope,
    Keep the faith, yet promise... nope,
    So who cares if I'm a dope?...

    Yep, cause there's a lady there
    Hiding out around somewhere,
    That is sending me a rose,
    After thumbing me her nose,
    Keepin' glidin' out of sight
    Like a fading streak of light,
    And she scratches just to kiss,
    And to hide among the trees,
    And to catch me unaware,
    And inside my eyes to stare,
    And her life with me to share...

    I made it. My dream is back, so real, so tender,
    Like the last brown leave shed off an old oak tree
    When autumn magic envelopes in hidden whispers my lost senses,
    And you float inside the golden landscape,
    Holding out your arms,
    Offering your most intimate secrets,
    Abandoning your tense body in my desperate hold...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Ignoramus...

    You told me the world is round.
    I smiled, I knew you were joking.
    I mean - everybody knows the world is flat,
    Proven even by Columbus,
    He wanted to go to India and reached America, didn't he?
    What more proof is needed?
    It is flat,
    Carried by four huge elephants,
    Standing atop a huge turtle...
    I just keep wondering - what is the turtle standing atop of?...

    You told me the earth rotates around the sun,
    Ha, you almost got me laughing again there,
    You are funny, you know?
    We both know and everybody else does
    That the sun rises in the east and sets in the west
    So clearly proving the fact it rotates around the earth,
    Just imagine the earth rotating -
    The elephants would fall off from atop the turtle,
    Isn't it clear?
    (I still wonder what is this turtle standing on...)

    You told me the stars are all little suns
    When all the newspapers write about the cold nights,
    This time you really got me rolling with laughter,
    One of the greatest jokes I ever heard,
    Wait till I tell it to my colleagues,
    It is a known fact these are all Russian spy cameras
    Taking flash pictures of our secrets,
    If they were all suns it would be so hot
    That the elephants would run away
    And the earth would fall on the turtle's back,
    Maybe even breaking...
    (Could it be that the turtle is flying?)

    You told me you love me.
    You got me there,
    I think I am missing something,
    Ain't I?
    (I think I will stop thinking about turtles for a while...)

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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There And Here...

    Climbing stairs,
    Dusting drapes,
    Chasing bats,
    Squashing grapes...
          At this moment,
          Sweetheart dear,
          Don’t you seem
          My voice to hear?

    Cleaning floors,
    Planting shrubs
    Watching movies,
    Feeding cubs...
          At this moment,
          Sweetheart sweet,
          Don’t you guess
          My heart’s wild beat?

    Laughing loud,
    Telling jokes,
    Dancing tight,
    Roll’n’Rocks...
          At this moment,
          Sweetheart girl,
          Don’t you taste
          My teardrop pearl?

    Flaming cheeks,
    Panting breath
    Craving touch,
    Lusting death...
          At this moment,
          Sweetheart doe,
          Don’t you feel
          My deathly woe?

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Live!...

    I sit and read an empty screen,
    I wait for word or sign,
    I read unwritten and unseen
    Your lines when touching mine.

    I wait in empty naked bars,
    I drink from dirty cups,
    I touch inside old rusted cars
    Half breeds and squealing pups.

    I open books at pages odd,
    I count the commas through,
    I try to find the secret code
    That links my mind to you.

    I close my eyes to see the sky,
    I cover ears to hear,
    I touch a face and ask it why
    And how way home to steer.

    I'll never touch. I'll never see.
    I know. I'll go. I'll part.
    I beg of you my life to free,
    Kind girl - please pierce my heart.

          *

    And if 'beyond', and if there's 'there',
    The 'there' to you I'll give,
    Yet... be 'there' lies, and none to share,
    Then live. Forget me. Live!

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Naked...

    Naked is my soul,
    - no thick armour
    - no thin lace,
    Naked nothing to protect it.

    Naked is my soul,
    - no misguiding pretence,
    - no hidden desires,
    Naked nothing to protect it.

    Naked to your penetrating regard,
    Naked to your probing touch,
    Naked to your inquisitive expectations.

    I bared it all,
    Shamelessly,
    Unhesitatingly,
    Blindly,
    Naked my deepest fears,
    Naked my burning desires,
    Naked my darkest secrets,
    Naked my most painful memories.

    And I waited.

    Eyes closed,
    Head up high,
    Offering my neck,
    Offering my heart,
    Offering my life.

    Yours,
    Naked If to hug if to smash,
    Naked If to love if to kill,
    Naked If to live if to die,
    Naked If to be if to cease.

      *

    I came.
    I drank your tear,
    I drank your breath,
    I drank your blood,
    I drank your soul.

    I came.
    I whispered away your fears,
    I calmed away your desires,
    I wiped away your secrets.
    I loved away your pain.

    Your soul,
    Finally at peace,
    Asleep in my arms,
    Cuddled against my heart,
    Cloaked in my love.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Visions Two...

    I saw her riding down the plain
    A mighty mustang proud of mane,
    Bare of saddle, bare of hoof,
    All from life or death aloof,
    Down the wind black swallows racing,
    Up the hills late sunsets chasing,
    Down her shoulders flowing gown,
    Up her brow wild flowers crown...

    I saw her driving like a spell
    A roaring mustang color hell,
    Bare of top and bare of fright,
    Hundred fifty horses might,
    Screaming tires asphalt racing,
    Fearless freedom's laughter chasing,
    Streaming hair in blurring wave,
    Blinding smiles in living crave...

    I saw her touch her golden ring,
    All cuddled in a rocking swing,
    One hand around the squeaking chains,
    One hand but smearing teardrop stains,
    A snow white bunny jumping by,
    A chilly wind, a stifled cry,
    And dreaming, softly whispered pray,
    Somewhere, sometime, somewhen, some day...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Eight...

    fay oh fay, fay oh fay,
    way away, way away,
    sweet of lips, sweet of lips,
    dreamland's deeps, dreamland's deeps,
    do you know, do you know,
    dearest doe, dearest doe,
    that the days, that the days,
    pass in haze, pass in haze,
    that the nights, that the nights,
    pains claim rights, pains claim rights,
    that my heart, that my heart,
    breaks apart, breaks apart,
    that my life, that my life,
    needs you wife, needs you wife...

    *

    fay oh fay, fay oh fay,
    way away, way away,
    sweet of sigh, sweet of sigh,
    blue of eye, blue of eye,
    smile in bloom, smile in bloom,
    wild perfume, wild perfume,
    soft of skin, soft of skin,
    lust and sin, lust and sin,
    in your mind, in your mind,
    be so kind, be so kind,
    in the glade, in the glade,
    be my shade, be my shade,
    in my past, in my past,
    be my last, be my last,
    by your side, by your side,
    let me glide, let me glide,
    let me lie, let me lie,
    let me die, let me die,
    i will bet, i will bet,
    you forget, you forget,
    none the blame, none the blame,
    none the name, none the name,
    fades the star, fades the star,
    heals the scar, heals the scar,
    gone the woes, gone the woes,
    gone the rose, gone the rose...

    *

    fay oh fay, fay oh fay,
    way away, way away,
    when in may, when in may,
    you will sway, you will sway,
    on the porch, on the porch
    under scorch, under scorch,
    of a sun, of a sun,
    like no one, like no one,
    look around, look around,
    for the sound, for the sound,
    for the smell, for the smell,
    for the spell, for the spell,
    as from low, as from low,
    glitters glow, glitters glow,
    as from high, as from high,
    secrets sigh, secrets sigh,
    as from yond, as from yond,
    shadows bond, shadows bond
    till you see, till you see,
    i and me, i and me,
    haunt and dream, haunt and dream,
    tender team, tender team,
    round your legs, round your legs,
    craves and begs, craves and begs,
    round you breasts, round your breasts,
    moments rests, moments rests,
    round your neck, round your neck,
    tracing trek, tracing trek,
    round your lips, round your lips,
    huddled sleeps, huddled sleeps,
    and you know, and you know,
    then will go, then will go,
    ever way, ever way,
    bye oh fay, bye oh fay...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tiny Heart, Tiny Love...

    Is that tiny heart of yours,
    Hidden hind forbidden flesh,
    Beating through the bony mesh
    An unrivalled verse in Morse
            bold and fresh?

    Is that tiny love of yours,
    Guised in brazen words of lust,
    Grinding with its eager gust
    Reason walls and patience doors
            thin to dust?

    Aren't tiny love and heart,
    Through a magic known to none,
    Greater than the mighty sun
    Welding lives a world apart
            into one?




Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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ET Phone Home...

    In the village of Hawalis,
    Round the corner from Detralis,
    Deep the county called Mishiga,
    Of the kingdom Am Er Iga
    Lives a creature,
    Mammals feature,
    Think she's virgin,
    Though her engine
    Manufactured had some seeds,
    What they humans call them kids,
    Never understood this feature,
    How could any higher creature
    Not just split
    Like we, thanks Git,
    I'm confused,
    Beg be excused,
    Thank you master, let's go back
    To this female human's shack,
    Where, afraid of human's cat,
    I just camouflaged in bat,
    Oh my Gitness
    Be my witness,
    This there female
    Left her e-mail
    And with viking battle sound
    Started chasing me around,
    Shooting something they call guns,
    Throwing something they call buns,
    Round the room
    With a broom,
    Eyes a flashing,
    Teeth a gnashing,
    Oh my master, I petition
    To abandon this my mission,
    Cauze I know that if she could,
    Given half a chance she would...

    Tried another stratagema,
    Split myself to hundreds them-a,
    Them-a spiders 's what I mean,
    You should hear the human scream,
    Beady eyes,
    Saucer size,
    Hellish blue,
    Piercing through,
    My poor parts all cringed in fear
    As she started stomping near,
    Hit me some, you know I hate,
    When I must regenerate,
    Changed to mole,
    Through a hole,
    Squirmed away
    Green and grey,
    While she kept yelling and grunting,
    Dirty words like spray and hunting,
    I must tell you master grace
    Such an alien this race,
    Using nails,
    Using rails,
    Stick their tongue
    When they're young,
    Primitives down to their marrow,
    Moving earth with one wheeled barrow,
    Master dear, no vacancy
    On Omega Triple D?
    This assignment,
    My confinement,
    It's death row,
    This you know,
    And one day when I won't see
    She will quash the whole of me,
    Cauze I know that if she could,
    Given half a chance she would...

    Did you read my first report
    Of this funny kind of sport
    When she takes this thing called car,
    Used for moving close to far,
    At a crawl
    To the mall,
    Merely ninety,
    Then, oh, mighty,
    There's this human with a cap,
    And a gun, and starts to yap,
    That's when starts the competition
    (Don't forget, please, my petition...)
    He is steaming,
    And is screaming,
    And is looming,
    And is booming,
    Suddenly... my female's beaming,
    And her teeth for seconds gleaming,
    In this grimace they call smile,
    Oh, the humans are so vile,
    And the cop's
    Voice tone drops,
    And his eyes
    Stick like flies
    To the female human's chest,
    What the hell's his interest
    In this wobbling hanging things
    Pulled back up by funny strings?
    Tell you master,
    A disaster,
    This world is,
    Help me, please,
    She's this world's most wanted nut,
    She may catch my nose and cut,
    Cauze I know that if she could,
    Given half a chance she would...

    Oh, dear master, thousand stories
    I could fill with my day's worries,
    Maybe, may I be so bold
    As to ask a place to hold
    In the ship
    With the creep
    From next door,
    Just... NO MORE!
    Or assign me supervisor
    Of the president's advisor,
    Or of plants, or of a tree,
    Just away from frightful she,
    She could lose
    One huge moose,
    She could spit
    Twenty feet,
    She could take a brand new tractor
    And like innocent an actor
    Smash it with this truck of her
    And pretend it wasn't there,
    I have seen,
    Gitly queen,
    Watched her stop
    At the hop,
    In her monster filling gas,
    Kick away with nose high class,
    Taking half a town to ride
    With the nozzle still inside,
    Watched in horror,
    Chief explorer,
    Mighty bank
    Like a tank
    She tore down with single sweep,
    Help me, save me from her grip,
    Cauze I know that if she could,
    Given half a chance she would...

        *    *    *

    Honored master, just a moment,
    May I have a slight postponement,
    Think I found some kind of way,
    Where I wouldn't mind to stay,
    Cauze you see,
    Stupid me
    Played the wrong
    Kind of song,
    And I strongly do advise
    Our guidelines to revise,
    When disguise I have to choose
    Don't want choice like fly or shoes,
    But a blossom
    At her bosom,
    Crinoline
    On her skin,
    Breezy fragrance in her hair,
    On her ears a rubies pair,
    Crimson color in her cheeks,
    Music round the words she speaks,
    Lace on breast,
    Silk on chest,
    Air she breathes,
    Sword she sheathes,
    Lipstick touch upon her lips,
    Choice of colored perfumed nips,
    And somewhere along the way
    Maybe... human, if I may?
    On a chance
    For one dance
    Her to hold
    And enfold,
    While she whispers gently near
    Softly... love you... in my ear...
    Cauze I know that if she could,
    Given half a chance she would...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Your Number...

    You are not my number one
    Not my sun,
    My waiting gun,
    Not the path to heaven's gate
    Not my mate,
    My poisoned bait...

    You are not my number first
    Not my thirst,
    My body's burst,
    Not the flowers' boundless field,
    Not my shield,
    My life repealed...

    When I'm crumbling sad and lonely
    You are there, my number only...





Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Dreams...

    Dreams will never do come true,
    Dreams where I lives dreams of you,
    Dreams... when you becomes a she,
    Dreams when I becomes a he,
    Gone is we...

    Dreams will never do abide,
    Dreams where eyes dream open wide,
    Dreams... when dreams turn off and die,
    Dreams when hopes turn off and fly,
    Sad goodbye...

    Dreams will never do to flowers,
    Dreams where mine and yours is ours,
    Dreams... when loss does follow pride,
    Dreams where ebb does follow tide,
    Deep inside...

            *

    In the wee small morning hours
    I lay brooding in my towers,
    Stains of food upon my book,
    Doggie's snoring in his nook,
    And a stubble three days old
    Round my chin begins to mold,
    Just about to tear a page
    To my words to set a stage,
    When my double window glazing
    With a crack so loud, amazing,
    Splits to pieces three and twenty,
    Doggie wags his tail a plenty,
    And... what hell, this blinding fury
    Storms my house, no judge no jury,
    Buzzing wings on thunder riding...
    Hey there, pooch, where are you hiding?
    Get that fierce and hellish demon
    Burping like a drunken seaman,
    What's that rope round my left ankle,
    And your giggles me they rankle,
    Crazy witch, you ugly fairy,
    I will strangle you and bury,
    Leave my shirt, hey, leave my chest,
    This is not your coven's nest,
    Help... what's that, what are you doing?
    Off my nose or I'll be suing,
    Whaa.. oom...oom... moomoo... oo... out...
    (this is when she closed my mouth...)
    And with lips sweet soft and airy
    Flavored apple...grapes... and cherry,
    Drain she did my word, my tear,
    Way she moved, to eye, to ear,
    Do I hear?...

            *

    Dreams will always do come true,
    Dreams where I lives dreams of you,
    Dreams... when you becomes my love,
    Dreams when I becomes your dove,
    Hand in glove...

    Dreams will always do abide,
    Dreams where eyes dream open wide,
    Dreams... when dreams take off and fly,
    Dreams when pains turn off and die,
    My, oh, my...

    Dreams will always do to flowers,
    Dreams where mine and yours is ours,
    Dreams... when loss precedes to pride,
    Dreams where ebb precedes to tide,
    Deep inside...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Lovers' First Kiss...

    Do you remember that moment long due,
    I picked up the phone... "...oh my God, it is you...",
    The shiver that waited long years in my bone
    Asleep in an arrogant world of its own
    Of sudden alive creeping out to my voice
    Its powerful echo defeating all choice
    As out of the mindless receiver a tune
    Reached out to December with flowers of June,
    Soft words hardly passing the gates to my ear,
    A giggle... a click... an embarrassed ... "...I'm here..."
    "Where here?" "At your door, dearest imbecile fool..."
    My hand smashing back to its cradle the tool
    With fingers but ripping the bolts off the door
    Sharp splinters invading the nails with a roar
    A dimly lit cabin, a nervous "Hello..."
    A few rolling beads forging trails down my brow,
    A dry sounding thump as the door locked in place,
    Your hand on the wheel while my eyes searched your face,
    Eternity frozen few moments of life,
    Sparks glinting in eyes electricity rife,
    The fluttering silence of night's velvet cape,
    Bedazzling the perfume of ripening grape,
    My hand inching forward... a will of its own,
    Your half parting lips hind a girl's mocking frown,
    Three inches... then two... then a maddening one...
    A thundering world melting down into none,
    Sweet Eden erupting through blistering lips,
    Devouring sharp teeth cutting long bleeding strips,
    The scorching of breath turning wild screaming hiss,
    The never again taste of lovers' first kiss...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Nevers...

    I never waltzed with you, I never will,
    That artful skill
    Of ballroom drill,
    That gentle grip,
    That swaying hip,
    That fingers' clasp,
    That breathless gasp
    As round and round
    On sparkling sound
    Through dazzling shapes
    Your mind escapes,
    Your giving breast
    Against my chest,
    Your promise warm
    Against my storm,
    Your eyewink's bait
    Against my wait...
    I never did, I never will,
    And master time's sandglass will fill
    And now's too late.

    I never asked the question, never will,
    That awkward feel
    Of world unreal,
    That soft regard,
    That clumsy bard,
    That pleading word,
    That frightened bird
    As whispers freeze
    On silent breeze
    Through misty eyes
    Your rapture flies,
    Your hand to rest
    Against my chest,
    Your bliss to form
    Against my storm,
    Your 'yes' to mate
    Against my wait...
    I never did, I never will,
    And master time's unflinching chill
    My dream will bate.

    I never touched you first, I never will,
    That mighty thrill
    From head to heel,
    That tender sigh,
    That first time cry,
    That loving knife,
    That budding life
    As bodies blend
    On dreams no end
    Through streaming light
    Your soul's delight,
    Your heartbeat's nest
    Against my chest,
    Your smiles' thick swarm
    Against my storm,
    Your blissful fate
    Against my wait...
    I never did, I never will,
    And master time has made his kill
    And closed the gate.

    Yet, I know, the day will come
    Master time one single crumb
    Will drop mindlessly my way,
    Wild and stray,
    In my fist I'll grow the seed
    Be it flower be it weed,
    Till the stem will grow to trunk,
    Wild and drunk,
    In its shade to carve a dwell,
    Cutting thirst to never quell,
    Bleeding hands to build a floor,
    Wild and sore,
    From your cage of golden dust
    With a roar of raging lust
    You to ravish and to rob,
    Wild the sob,
    In my arms like lost a child
    Spellbound, smiling and beguiled
    We will dance the waltz at last,
    Wild the blast,
    I will ask the question - 'You?...'
    You will answer - 'Yes I do...'
    We will touch and we will burn,
    Wild the yearn...

    Morning come, the dawning rust
    Turns the crumb to fading dust,
    Slowly locks a golden cage,
    Slowly dies an early rage,
    In my seed, my trunk, my dwell
    I will shed my angry shell,
    Roll myself in sheets of night,
    Fading reason, fading light,
    In my dreamless nowhere grime
    Waiting for next waking chime...
    Crumb of time...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Parting...

    Asleep, in the bed,
    Soft locks crown your head,
    Your breast with delight
    A warm ray of light
    Fights hard to embrace
    Through the thin nightie lace,
    Your cheek pale and warm
    Carries shadows of storm –
    The colourful smears
    Of make-up and tears,
    Your fist in despair
    The sad teddy bear
    I brought you last night
    Is clutching you tight,
    The blanket askew
    A heavenly view
    Of smooth rounded hips,
    A tremor your lips
    Touches fading away,
    Is it dream? Is it pray?

    A last moment’s bliss,
    No goodbye. Did we kiss
    As we purged with a yell
    All the fires of hell,
    And your big saucer eyes –
    Patches off summer’s skies –
    Shyly dared to implore
    Just for one morning more
    Fore in Morpheus’ arms
    You entrusted your charms.

    One more street, one more train,
    One more town, one more plane,
    Far away, half world through,
    Here is I, there is you,
    Empty mind, searing pain,
    Will we?... When?... If again?...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Touches, two...

    Touched your nose...
    Fingers long twin riverbed
    Depths of which floods often bled
    Flowing down a timid red
    Gentle rose...

    Touched your shoulder...
    Fingers long twin falling straps,
    Mountain proud its tip unwraps
    As the hand its contour maps,
    Fires smolder...

    Touched your hip...
    Fingers long twin falling lines
    Long forbidden serpentines
    Way where love with life entwines,
    Dreamland deep...

    Touched your soul...
    Fingers long twin whispered vows
    Welding hearts - a promise ploughs,
    Yesterdays, tomorrows, nows,
    Two and whole...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Poet...

    How do I write a poem?
    You asked me,
    I didn't have an answer.

    Do I write a scenario,
    Do I plan the number of words,
    Of lines,
    Type of rhyme,
    The subject?
    Any or all, or none and any?

    How do I breathe?
    You didn't ask me,
    I don't have an answer neither.

    I tried to find it, the answer,
    For you, maybe for myself,
    I followed myself for hours, for weeks,
    Nothing.
    Bored to death, if it wasn't I then I would have asked for another assignment.
    Talked to you,
    Read your words,
    Listened,
    Nothing.
    Thought of choosing a career as a palm tree,
    It probably leads a more interesting life,
    Supporting armies of pigeons relieving themselves from its branches onto the sidewalk...
    Or maybe as a traffic sign?...

    And then, suddenly, a surge,
    From inside, deep in the chest, was it in the head and I imagined it to be in the chest?
    Suddenly,
    I remember a word you said,
    I retrieve a question you asked,
    I listen to your laughter and try to remember the reason,
    A cry of pain,
    A declaration of love, a grasp for the receding trails of a parting promise,
    And it starts swelling into a need, into a rumble,
    Into a tidal wave screaming... let me out... I want to live,
    My hand groping frantically for a broken pencil,
    For a torn white corner off an unpaid bill,
    Half an eye watching the rushing road, the other half of the other eye watching the paper,
    Scribbling fragments of words, phrases bubbling incoherently out,
    Messy,
    Like smog particles spluttering randomly out a factory's chimney,
    No logic yet one direction, up, away,
    An abstract mind's painting replacing colors, lines, hues,
    With verbs, synonyms, punctuation signs,
    Adding music in the form of rhyme,
    Adding heartbeats in the form of exclamation marks...
    Then the surge is over. Does it make any sense?
    Does it make sense to me, would it make sense to anybody else,
    Would it make sense to the only one other I care making sense to,
    You?

    Later, sometimes much later,
    I collect the written splinters of thoughts,
    Collate them, add a word, change some, painfully delete some lines,
    Never really satisfied but having to end it sometime, somehow.
    And I end it. It is finished.
    A last look, trying yet hardly able to be objective,
    Will you see through the web of abstract colors the deep passion woven into these lines,
    Will you guess answers to riddles I cannot decipher myself and deliver me with solutions,
    Will you want me to go on or scream that I should stop,
    Will you join me in my unreality and pretend you live it too? Like I do?

    I end it. It is finished. When will the next one come?
    Will it come?
    I am back to my daily. Listening. Remembering.
    Waiting for the surge.
    Will it come?
    It will.
    As long as there are words to listen,
    As long as there are lines to read,
    As long as there are memories to remember,
    As long as you are there to play these tunes on your mind's chords - it will.
    As long. And not one moment longer.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Pop'lar...

    laddie laddie boy
    sad as sad as joy
    fever fever ice
    timid timid vice

    told i was i was
    words and buzz and buzz
    smiles and sweets and sweets
    tears then treats then treats
    oaths and trust and trust
    flares of lust of lust
    worth are none are none
    touch then done then done
    then my reign my reign
    is the pain the pain.

    woman woman girl
    pebble pebble pearl
    whisper whisper tune
    winter winter june

    when i claim i claim
    love and flame and flame
    tell you i you i
    pierce my eye my eye
    through my soul my soul
    rip a hole a hole
    cleave apart apart
    chest and heart and heart
    if i lie i lie
    let me die me die.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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WWW...

    Woman.
    I found a woman.

    There’s no second to your kind,
    Scavenging my ravished mind,
    Sending feelers long and frail
    Through its steely shielding veil,
    Seeping into crack and hole,
    Peeling layers one and all,
    Squeezing through at honey crawl,
    Gripping secrets, dreams, and soul,
    Thirsty tracing blood and vein
    To this calling throbbing pain,
    Weaving fingers wizard’s art
    Holding tight to never part –
            - my heart.

    Whore.
    I found a whore.

    There’s no second to your thrill,
    Gashing ribbons through my will,
    Sliding shivers long my spine,
    Spiky nails in shoulders mine,
    Slicing teeth drive bloody wedge
    Like a razor’s dreaded edge,
    Long my chin the gushing line
    Stains the breasts that crush in mine,
    Thighs are merging, hips collide,
    Hands to gates of heaven slide,
    Fingers clasp in frenzied fight,
    Screaming silent, holding tight –
            - my might.

    Wife.
    I found a wife.

    There’s no second to your love,
    Way beyond, or way above,
    Soft the song at morn you sing,
    Kind the kiss each eve you bring,
    By my side when children play,
    Hand in hand when puppies stray,
    Laughing day and smiling night,
    Sparkling eyes at candle’s light,
    Telling whispers in my ear,
    Reading poems from my tear,
    Wearing proudly, song to wing,
    Day to moon, and sun to spring –
            - my ring.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Forgiveness...

    Yesterday the eagle's soar,
    Yesterday the lion's roar,
    Yesterday the flooding pain
    Laying waste my heart's domain,
    Yesterday... dies fury's pride
            by your side...

    Yester night the burning grip,
    Yester night the clawing whip,
    Yester night the raving beast
    Gulping sun's emerging east,
    Yester night... dies fever's clutch
            at your touch...

    Day today the burning lips,
    Day today hot fingertips
    Day today across my chest
    Branding deep from east to west
    Day today... like scorching sun,
            we are one...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Angel Wings...

    Beaten, blood down trembling chin,
    Blinding love your only sin,
    Bound and gagged like human filth,
    Being raped your only guilt,
    Frightened, scared in mindless awe,
    Being young your only flaw,
    Hunted down, your puppies save,
    Way from harm your only crave,
    Cheated, into fearful price,
    Trusting love, your only vice.

    Days run long time’s endless rope,
    Dim the eyes, and dims the hope,
    Yet... unknown, untold, unseen,
    There where none has ever been,
    Toils an army morn to noon,
    Day to year and sun to moon,
    Piece to piece to bind and reeve,
    Bit to bit to sew and weave,
    Cheroubs rush at stumbling gait,
    Fairies fly like heaven’s fate,
    Fireflies spill streams of sparks,
    Swallows chase gay hordes of larks...
    And one day, time world awakes,
    Time the sun its slumber shakes,
    Time the rooster proudly sings...
    On your back – white angel wings.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Wherever...

    If in hell -
                I'll wait for you,
    If in heaven -
                I'll wait too,
    Yet, if not in mine you'll dwell,
    Be it heaven, be it hell,
    Loud you'll hear my battle cry,
    (If I'm dead, well, I can't die),
    With my nails I'll dig and crawl
    Miles deep ice and fire wall,
    With my teeth I'll rip and peel
    Trunk thick bars all clad in steel,
    To your side to roll and rage,
    Be it gold or fire cage,
    Round your waist my arm to lock...
    Round us armies roar and flock,
    Sent by kings of dark and light
    Angered at these lovers' might,
    Grinning devils, spears and words,
    Angry angels, wings and swords,
    White the heaven, black the hell,
    Rows and rows just swell and swell,
    Hooves a beating, wings a flap,
    At a sign they form a trap,
    Gaining power, fear and might,
    Step to trot, then trot to flight,
    Whisper turns to thunder roll,
    Trickle turns to waterfall,
    And we wait - hands locked round waist,
    Shoulders one, bare chest to chest,
    Eyes ablaze and fear there none,
    We are two, and we are one,
    Facing hordes of holy rabble,
    Whites and blacks who foam and squabble,
    Bent on raving the accused...
    Yet... big boss... He seems bemused,
    Partly angry, partly grinning,
    Weighing loving versus sinning,
    Counting deeds, and counting pain,
    Weighing saint against profane,
    Never fore, since time began,
    For eternity's short span,
    Did He hesitate as such,
    Did He weigh and wait so much,
    Till... just moments fore the hordes
    Were about to swing the swords,
    With His finger He shot down,
    Mixing smile with fearsome frown,
    Freezing angels riding light
    Like a wall of mighty white,
    Freezing devils sunk in grime,
    Opening a breach in time,
    And with... what was that?... a wink?...
    In a timeless endless blink
    Opened up a door unknown
    To His kingdom's very own,
    Leaving hind the screaming raff,
    Did we hear his booming laugh?...
    One more blink, the door is gone,
    Never was, was never born...
    And I looked - your eye I drank,
    In my heart your smile you sank,
    Locked forever -
                Hand in hand,
    In His garden's
                Neverland...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Yes, No, Yes...

    I remember those long gone words,
    When you told me you got into your car,
    The window down,
    Driving to this secluded place,
    The wind playing messy games with your golden locks,
    Half your mind wondering,
    Half knowing already,
    Do you love me?...

    I forgot that long gone torture,
    The day we married,
    Vows burning hot on our lips,
    Promises fresh in my nostrils,
    With you wondering away,
    To our honeymoon,
    And someone else waking up at your side,
    Will I leave you?...

    I know the moment now gone forever,
    When your smile, oh, that most miraculous of creations,
    Took away my sight
    Blessing me with light,
    Burned away my face
    Blessing me with grace,
    Pierced my body through
    Blessing me with you,
    When your laughter, oh, a butterfly's beating wings,
    Drowned me in its lace
    Smothering embrace,
    Roped me in its silk
    Honey flavored milk,
    Crushed me under feet
    Ripped me with its teeth,
    When your word, oh, a king's scepter studded with the diamond of your sigh,
    Rolled into my brain
    Like a crashing train,
    Rolled under the skies
    My forbidden vice,
    Rolled and landed sweet
    Right against His feet,
    And I knew, I forgot, I remembered,
    Do we love?...

    Yes... No... Yes...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Elementary...

    You took my hand
    And lightly squeezed...
    Did you hear?... an angel sneezed,
    Little devil,
    Playing games,
    Devil?... angel?... so what?... names...
    Fly away
    You silly creep
    Don't you give me cheeky lip,
    Want to join
    The loving school?
    This is for us humans, fool!
    Hey, know what?
    I'll let you see
    Just one lesson, this for free -
    Look my girl,
    You see? no wings...
    Not your silly feather things...
    All she needs
    Is touch my hand
    And I fly to heaven's land...
    Look my girl,
    A mortal shell?...
    Are your eons not a hell?...
    All she needs
    Is look my eye
    And I know I'll never die...
    Look my girl,
    A flower holds...
    Not your showy thunderbolts...
    All she needs
    Is kiss me once
    And I burn like seven suns...

    Told you one, I gave you three,
    When it starts... it's starlight spree,
    Be an angel, shoo away...
    You... your eons, I... one day...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Oz...

    Tin Man, Tin Man, don’t you cry,
    Rust will set into your eye,
    On your lips will freeze the sigh,
    blankYou will die.

    Tin Man, Tin Man, don’t you crash,
    Rugged cracks your chest will gash,
    Dreams of blood and flesh so brash
    blankGone to trash.

    Tin Man, Tin Man, don’t you pound
    Hollow chest with heartless sound
    Searching love with nothing found
    blankAll earth round.

    Tin Man, Tin Man, one night through
    I will share my heart with you,
    And I’ll be, by morning dew,
    blankDead and blue.

    No, my Dorothy, my queen,
    Die I’m ready, ‘cause I’ve seen
    Love. Though this my heart has been

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Visions...

    I watch and cry,
    My tear is dry,
    The swelling flood invades my blood a hundred stories high.

    You walk the street at hasty pace,
    Soft silver glints your passage trace,
    Your clicking heels like pouring rain,
    No passer-by seems to complain,
    A nod to left, a smile to right,
    Someone you know, someone you might,
    A corner chat, a wave of hand,
    Your scent a field of flowers blend,
    A wake of heads that turn and sigh,
    A wake of dreams – all bound to die,
    No one’s to find, no one to know
    The secret setting you aglow,
    Your brow in thought, your eye in tear,
    Your mind away, your body here...

    I sit and gaze,
    Through misty haze,
    The gnawing pain invades my brain and sets my soul ablaze.

    A sudden start, all wide awake
    Your pace a second seems to break,
    A cheerful jump, a happy shout,
    I wonder what it’s all about...
    Oh God almighty, could it be...
    Oh no, you pass there right through me,
    A few more steps, a hug, a kiss,
    The sounds of daily life and bliss,
    A hasty pinch, a friendly pat,
    The air alive with chit and chat,
    A bite and cake at corner’s store,
    This weekend’s plan to camp on shore,
    A lengthy look, an asking stare,
    A hot night’s promise in the air...

    A mute regret,
    A frozen breath,
    A scorching fire of desire invades my vision’s living death.

    A shaded light draws gentle shapes
    Across the flutter of the drapes,
    You feel him close, a rustle near,
    You close your eyes... in lust?... in fear?...
    His hands on neck, then slowly glide
    Inside your shirt, then further slide,
    Your mind is deaf... your body hears
    And turns alight with mighty cheers,
    As squirming flesh in gripping lust
    Grinds mind’s oblivion into dust,
    A moment long your open eyes
    Regard my face... the vision dies.
    Your eyes are shut. I hear the knell.
    Away I go. Nowhere. To hell.

    Your body’s burn,
    My body’s churn,
    God bless the day I’ll find my way to there where’s no return.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Seven...

    You'll never know how much,
    You know?
    You'll never know how much...
    You'll never guess how wild,
    You know?
    You'll never guess how wild...
    I'll never know the touch,
    I know,
    I'll never know the touch...
    I'll never guess you smiled,
    I know,
    I'll never guess... you smiled?

    *

    Slowly turns,
    The morn to evening as my reason
    Slowly burns,
    Slowly scorns
    The world of wisdom as my heartbeat
    Slowly mourns,
    Slowly wakes
    My hot desire as my daydream
    Slowly breaks,
    Slowly flies
    The thought through deserts as the stardust
    Slowly dies...

    *

    Am I a king
    And you my queen,
    Or a pathetic harlequin?

    Is this a star
    Your evermore,
    Or just a lost and empty shore?

    Did countless words
    Light up your sun,
    Or slowly died till there was none?

    Is it today
    You come my nest,
    Or time has come to rip my chest?

    *

    Not a woman, but the woman,
    Not a lady, but the one,
    Not some girl, the one and only,
    Not a spark, the mighty sun,

    Through the night - the guiding starlight,
    Through the day - the guiding brawn,
    Through the year - the guiding wisdom
    Trough the life - the guiding dawn,

    When my hand she's gently holding,
    When my brow she'll gently touch,
    When my tear she's gently wiping,
    When my heart she'll gently clutch,

    I will lay my head on bosom,
    I will hear the heartbeat sing,
    I will close my eye in wonder,
    I will live eternal spring.

    *

    You asked me - it's my body?
    You asked me - it's my youth?
    You asked me - it's my fire
    Which burns from top to root?

    You asked me - it's my promise?
    You asked me - it's my charm?
    You asked me - it's my magic
    Which keeps away all harm?

    You asked me - it's my laughter?
    You asked me - it's my gold?
    You asked me - it's my passion
    Which breathes new life in old?

    You asked me - it's my courage?
    You asked me - it's my soul?
    You asked me - it's my power
    Which melts the northern pole?

    I answered - not your body.
    I answered - not your youth.
    I answered - not your fire
    Which burns from top to root.

    I answered - not your promise.
    I answered - not your charm.
    I answered - not your magic
    Which keeps away all harm.

    I answered - not your laughter.
    I answered - not your gold.
    I answered - not your passion
    Which breathes new life in old.

    I answered - not your courage.
    I answered - not your soul.
    I answered - not your power
    Which melts the northern pole.

    I answered - you're mistaken.
    I answered - all is true.
    I answered - all I want is
    Just one. And only. You!

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Power...

    Little, tiny, frail of frame,
    Panting in the dying shadows,
    Fire torrents leave the sun
    Drenching desert’s wizened meadows.

    Rolling droplets down her cheeks,
    Tear through sweat her anger fuels,
    Glints of dreams her only wish,
    Fading scars her only jewels.

    Eyes she opens, back she looks,
    Boulder piles her body hosted,
    Weeds have marked the resting spots
    That to touch her body boasted.

    Long the trail her bleeding feet
    Marked across the endless journey,
    And the fury’s boiling up...
    Say my Lord, is this a tourney?

    Diamond hard the piercing stare,
    Arrows shoots the skies enflaming,
    Blending plea with grisly hurt,
    And its right to justice claiming.

    Say my Lord, nine mountains nine
    Up my path I climbed and scrambled,
    Broken fingers, broken bones,
    Broken soul, and on I shambled,

    Hounds of fear I lost way back,
    Moving on, not once to stumble,
    Sharing trail with devil’s own,
    Never once you heard me grumble,

    Foe and friend to run and hide,
    Losing trace of life’s tomorrow,
    Climbing boulder after rock
    Way and on to hide my sorrow,

    One a mountain, mountains five,
    Thorns and bramble bone deep grating,
    Burns the sun my tattered skin,
    Vultures roll in silent waiting,

    Lord, I’m tired, feel my chest,
    Now another mountain looming
    Can I stand another test,
    Can’t you hear my prayer booming?...

    Years and yesterdays so many,
    Hiding, crawling, hugging pain,
    Times and thousands nights if any,
    Asking none a favor's grain,
    King of kings, I beg of thee...
    All my aching fills three oceans,
    Tumbling skies tore through my wing,
    Hell’s damn hooks ride my emotions,
    Yield my yearning, pray thee king...

        * * *

    Little, tiny, steel of mind,
    Up you stand, a godly flower,
    Courage rushes through your veins,
    You will win. You are the power.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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I'd Like...

    I’d like to tell a story
    Of justice and of glory,
    Of knights in shining mail
    On evil’s bloody trail,
    Of blazing guns and smoke,
    Of breaking chain and yoke,
    Of beating hooves in night,
    Of crushing pain and plight...

    I’d like to count a tale
    Of fighting storm and hail,
    Of gripping hand to rocks
    Defying mountain’s hawks,
    Of stubborn steady plough
    Through blizzard, ice and snow,
    Of sharing lair and spring
    With jungle’s mighty king...

    I’d like to spin a yarn
    Of peace and sunshine darn,
    Of bells' soft crystal chime,
    Of love and smile in rhyme,
    Of dancing and of cheers
    For days and months and years,
    Of kids in mothers’ arms,
    Of sunset’s magic charms...

    I’d like to sing a song
    From time to time’s end long,
    Of quiet silent nights,
    Of flying rainbow kites,
    Of walking in the park,
    Of touching in the dark,
    Of living by your side,
    Of calling you my bride...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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One Simple Tune...

    One simple tune,
            So strange of sound
            Haunting and sweet,
    Out of no where,
            Out of no place,
            Out of no beat,
    I closed my eyes,
            Wandering thoughts,
            Over the sea,
    Hunting for you,
            Lonely and sad,
            Waiting for me.

    One simple tune,
            Drunken and soft
            Alien rhyme,
    Out of no heart,
            Out of no soul,
            Out of no time,
    Sin silken thoughts,
            Flooding your mind,
            In endless stream,
    Fingers entwined,
            Pain touching pain,
            Dream touching dream.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Dying...

    Dying.
    Not having known you.

    No regrets. No expectations,
    Last of life's forgotten stations,
    Quiet, cold, the darkened alley
    Leading down the peaceful valley
    Echoes emptiness, erasing
    Footsteps, memories replacing
    With oblivion's final veil,
    Fades to nothingness the trail,
    And the nowhere whence I came
    Hastily wipes out my name...

    Dying.
    Having known you.
    Not having touched you.

    Sharp regrets. A burning passion
    Screams its pain in desert ashen,
    Raising fist and roaring prayer
    To a deaf unheeding slayer,
    Desperately clinging, turning,
    Fading hopes its insides burning,
    Crippling raving madness soaring,
    Wildly sky and god imploring -
    Wish me hell and all its ire
    For a single touch of fire...

    Dying.
    Having touched you.

    No regrets. Sweet expectations,
    Thrilling whiffs of sharp sensations
    Sculped in spirit, carved in flesh,
    Sense through hope with dreams enmesh,
    Knowing that at end of road,
    There where rivers never flowed,
    Between now and end of time
    Come will be this most sublime
    Of encounters - our dawn,
    From the end of time and on...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Passing Time...

    Passing time away from you,
    My favorite way, the only way,
    Writing to you.

    Thinking,
    What would I prefer,
    Writing to you or making love to you.
    Hesitating.
    How could I know,
    I've done one all my life,
    I've not done the other all my life too...

    You're smiling,
    I know you're smiling,
    You're thinking... come into my arms renegade lover of mine,
    Come into my arms
    And once there
    There's no hesitating anymore,
    You'll wish time turn to rock,
    World turn to desert,
    And us turn to first of Eden's dwellers...
    You keep smiling, your nose high in the sky...
    No, not even that,
    You'll know time has turned to rock,
    World has turned to desert,
    And us we're Eden's first dwellers...

    Passing time away from you,
    My favorite way, the only way,
    Writing to you.

    Thinking,
    What would I prefer,
    Writing to you or making love to you.
    Hesitating.
    You've strewn doubts into my spirit,
    Your crooked smile disturbs me,
    Shall I accept what I know you're thinking
    And tear down the tattered pieces of paper carrying my messy writing,
    Close my eyes and fade into the nothing world
    Of promises, dreams, desires,
    Empty of all else?
    Is it what you're thinking
    Or is it my miserable interpretation
    Stained by fogs of uncertainty
    As I hide my tearful eyes in your bosom
    And wipe my nose on your crumpled skirt?

    You're smiling,
    I know you're smiling,
    You're pulling my ear to your mouth
    And while your finger plays along my lips
    Your words pour a river of fire into my soul...
    Come into my arms renegade lover of mine,
    Come into my arms
    And once there you'll find
    That your words are the fuel that feeds my life,
    The flowers my hands are full of,
    The sparkle dazzling my mornings on grey stormy days...
    Come into my arms
    And once there
    Carve your words into the marble of my body,
    Weave your words into the tapestry of my heart,
    Paint your words on the canvas of my eyelids...
    Come into my arms
    And once there remember
    That I'm your art and your creation,
    That the fire in my bone is the word in your mouth,
    That the softness in my breast is the love in your verse...

    Come into my arms renegade lover of mine,
    And while mindless time rams
    The swelling heart's dams,
    And witless sands swarm
    Round passion's wild storm,
    Through Eden's wide gates
    As lovers and mates
    We'll step to the lair,
    In fire and flare
    In thunder of word
    In whisper of sword
    We'll set sky ablaze
    Till end of all days...

    Passing time away from you,
    My favorite way, the only way,
    Writing to you.

    Thinking,
    What would I prefer,
    Writing to you or making love to you.
    Past hesitating. Way past hesitating.
    You smiled. You answered me.
    Both. And all of it.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Primitives...

    When I pulled you by the hair,
    When I dragged you to my lair,
    When you kicked my hurting shin,
    When you banged me on my bean,
    When I bound you hand to foot,
    When I tied you to a root,
    When you scratched my cheek to blood,
    When you rolled me in the mud,
    When I built a bed of rock,
    When I had your chin to knock,
    When you screamed and bit my nose,
    When you broke my two big toes,
    When I blocked the cave at night,
    When I huddled down in fright,
    When you pulled away the hide,
    When you slid down by my side,
    When we trembled frightened hell,
    When the goat slid in as well...

    When I saw the sunny spot,
    When I kicked away the goat,
    When I wanted to get out,
    When I tried to find your mouth,
    Which was holding to my ear,
    Was it pleasure, was it fear?
    When you clutched the beard I wore,
    When you pulled my cloth and tore,
    When you snarled and gripped my chest,
    When you pulled me in your nest
    Which was warm and rotten sweet,
    Was it ivy, was it beet?
    When we rolled out of the cave,
    When we screamed wave after wave,
    When we punched each other's eye,
    When we fought over the fly
    Which was going down the throat,
    Was it you, was it the goat?

    When I leaned against the tree,
    When you leaned against my knee,
    When I bit your scrawny neck,
    When you scratched my back a wreck,
    When I picked your tangled hair,
    When you reared like wildest mare,
    When I fell to panther's paws,
    When you chased with nails the claws,
    When I fought the savage bear,
    When you licked my wound and tear,
    When I slashed at mighty foe,
    When you snapped and wouldn't go,
    When we fled the raging flood,
    When we pulled through deadly mud,
    When I cut my string and bow,
    When I watched your belly grow,
    When the baby gripped your tit,
    When the goat nibbled your feet...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Corny...

    Feel like writing you a poem,
    Only I'm too tired,
    And when I'm tired I may sound corny.

    Very unfashionable. Yet, I love corny.
    Does everything have to be sophisticated,
    Messy, understood by the elite few that pretend they do,
    Do they actually?
    Is there actually something to understand in the "messy"?

    I love corny.
    The simple I love you,
    The simple rhyme of love - dove,
    Of life - wife, of kiss - bliss - miss,
    Words that I understand, words that everybody understands,
    They will never get a Pulitzer or whatever...
    So what?
    They are warm, they are kind, they are human...

    I love corny.
    When simple people go to such pains to write simple words,
    Spending at times a day to find a rhyme to words like heaven
    Only to end up with words like seven
    And then fighting for another day so hard to link them,
    Going to such pains at writing the hottest of passions
    In the simplest of words known to them,
    Simple people's words,
    Greatest words,
    True words, real love's words,
    From real people to real people.

    I love corny.
    I wish I knew the corniest way to tell you... I love you...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Holy Cheat...

    (Somewhere up Olympus' top
    There's a school for godly flop,
    Those who fail the entry test
    [Top positions go to best]
    Get a second chance, although
    It's for lower jobs, you know,
    Jobs like 'God Of Fallen Trees',
    'God Of Stones' or 'God Of Cheese',
    'Goddess Of The Income Tax',
    Or the worst - the 'God Of Lax',
    That's where our story goes
    With one teacher's painful throes
    Helping such a mishap case
    Join the masters of all race,
    You know 'zilla'? yes, the 'god',
    He's the one who brought in toad,
    Recommended [he claims] high
    From Palermo to Shanghai,
    Now it's lesson forty six,
    Toad still doesn't get the tricks,
    And his teacher's present feat
    Is to teach him 'Holy Cheat'.)

    Shall we start with number one?
    Number one?
    Of course. The sun
    Who his sweetheart day has wed
    Yet with night he goes to bed...

    Number two...
    There's two?
    Of course,
    And it's getting mighty worse,
    Number two - the sea...
    What sea?
    Red, or Black, or Galilee,
    While their bed they share with creep
    It's up shores they daily leap...

    Oh, I get it...
    No, you don't,
    Number three - who's there up front?
    Ah, I see, the hurricane
    With his trendy flying mane
    Though he's wearing cyclone's crown,
    Shapely trees he's knocking down...

    Number four... that human chap...
    Chap? What chap? What is this crap?
    Hey there, master, wait a sec,
    You just talk like me...

    What heck?...
    Listen here you momless son,
    I'm the one and only one
    That can joke and curse here, see,
    Jury, judge, and referee.
    So shuddup and listen on
    Or you won't get that bonbon.

    Number five - the lava stream
    Claims to love her husband's steam,
    Yet when hubby, Vulcan, he
    Coughs his stinking black debris
    She, hot lady, plays her tricks,
    All the shapes around she licks...

    Master...
    What?
    May I?... I may?...
    Stop your stutter piece of clay,
    Speak your mind cuz, far 's I know
    Grown up you will never grow...
    Oh, my goodness, even I
    Stutter like I'm 'bout to die...
    You’re my punishment, my chore...
    Master...
    Yes!
    You've missed the 'four'...

    Grrrr... (and) Grrrr... (then) Grrrr (again)
    (Master teacher grrrr's in pain,
    Why of all the candidates
    Knocking at his skyline's gates
    He received this losing blimp
    Wishy washy yellow wimp
    Who will never graduate
    At the present teaching rate
    From his present state of toad
    To a goddess, or a god...
    But, on other hand, who cares,
    Health insurance's good, and there's
    This forgotten piece of cloud
    Where the thunder's not so loud
    And when due for pension time
    He will get for twenty dime...)

    Number four - the snow.
    What snow?
    Snow, like white, like cold... you know...
    Oh, the one in that small box?...
    You know what? You are an ox!
    For a god of second rang
    Mastering the Yin and Yang,
    You're as dumb as my left shoe,
    What in skies I'll do with you,
    You spent too much time on earth,
    Oh, my heavens, does that hurt...
    Where's my pill?... Oh, Higher One,
    Why did I deserve this one?
    OK, let's just study on,
    Could you move two mountains yon?...
    Snow... the white, the clean, the pure,
    Winter's woman, yet demure
    Her soft curves she wraps around
    Every sticking shape or mound.

    Number five...
    Hey master...
    Yes?...
    Let me see if I can guess,
    Number five that human chap...

    What? Again? I need my nap...
    We should be at number six
    Talking about long legged chicks,
    About boobs without the traps,
    About hair that flips and flaps...
    Master dear...
    Yes, piece of hell...
    I don't think you feel too well,
    Cuz, you see, that boobies things,
    And the hair, and legs - not wings,
    Is the humans' hellish load,
    You a master, I a toad
    Know that our share's the best...

    Listen here you dumbness' nest,

    There's a woman,
    What a woman,
    She's a flower
    Springtime's shower,
    Mouth a prison
    Cherry risen,
    Laughter fountain
    From a mountain,
    Ears two seashells,
    Eyes twin bluebells,
    Breasts soft skyline
    Round a sunshine,
    Body narrow
    Shapely sparrow,
    Joy unending
    Sorrows mending,
    In her foot wake
    Buds to life break,
    At her calling
    Blue stars falling,
    In her shadow
    Golden meadow,
    In her heart, oh, in her heart,
    Wish I was that silver dart...

    Allo, master... Pronto... Home?
    What's this nonsense up your dome
    When you've taught me from the start
    Not to trust their cheatin' heart,
    Goddess snow, and goddess sea,
    Godly sun, and godly... me :)
    Hey, I'll get there, that you know
    You're too good a teacher... though
    Tell me truly - would be worth
    Swap eternity with... dirt?

    Listen toad, and if you quote
    What I say - in hell you rot!!!
    For one kiss, one moment's fear,
    For one woman's touch, one tear
    My eternity I'd sell
    And with you I'd rot in hell.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Bouquet...

    I offered you a bouquet.
    A poems bouquet.
    You touched it with your eyes,
    Inhaling the verses,
    Slowly,
    With pleasure,
    Letting me know that words are your favorite gardens,
    That poems are your favorite flowers,
    In shape, in color, in fragrance,
    Asking for more,
    With a little girl's voice,
    With a little girl's smile,
    With a woman's love.

    And I kept writing,
    Smoothing your eyes' wrinkles with the steam iron of my word,
    Reshaping your body's landscape with the steam hammer of my verse,
    Paving happy moment patches long your rugged life's path with the steam roller of my dreams.



Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Fifty Two Lines...

    You see my title and you smile.
    I am there for you, and you know it,
    The secret cobweb-thin invisible ink thread flowing from my master’s mind,
    Through my lines,
    My rhyme at times,
    Straight into the deep, forgotten recesses of that desperately thirsty spirit of yours
    Drinking and soaking and asking always one more cup of this sweet poison,
    Gallons of it,
    Oceans of it...
    Starting as always... or should I say almost always
    As the spell,
    At times,
    Flitters shrouded in intangible mysterious words with no apparent meaning...
    Yet, always always saying the very very same,
    Saying...

    My dear woman...

    You read the lines. I see flickering motions chasing my words,
    My lines,
    Counting them as you go on,
    Afraid they may end and knowing they will,
    Your blue pools hardly holding back the inevitable overflow,
    A worried finger smearing the first glitters all over your cheek,
    Your tongue gently wetting the gates to your eden,
    Looking for the message that you know should be there,
    Is there,
    Yet hides so deceivingly inside my unsaid words,
    Inside my master’s fantasy,
    This cave hiding the only treasure you ever looked for all your life
    And to which he entrusted the only existing key into your hands.

    You know you have to close your eyes,
    Keep on reading my lines without seeing them,
    Keep on feeling my words without touching them,
    Keep on listening to my tunes without hearing them,
    And only when you can do that, you know,
    The key fits the lock, the lock opens the gate, the gate closes behind you,
    Here you are, where you always wanted to be, forever.

    You close your eyes. You don’t touch. You don’t hear.
    And... yes,
    You can see. You can feel. You can listen.
    The gate starts to open. You step in.

    Wildest of the gentle nymphs riding tameless beasts to sleep,
    Fearless soft of hand and breast dragging light through fathoms deep,
    Fierce in love so tender rough cooling hell through whispers stream,
    Fury coiled in silken knots tying pain to passion dream,
    You’ve no right of world to be leaving barren legends land,
    Way return to fantasy, rhyming dance, and poet’s hand,
    Hang your smile across the sky leading lovers eden way,
    Set the breeze through fields of wheat sprinkled red with dreams of May,
    Gently blow your sighing breath through each morning’s early dew,
    Guide the sun, allow its warmth, light and hope, to seep through you...
    ...Look around, and see me there, stretch your hand... and pull me through...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Fifty Two Words...

    Daylight gone, your cheek is warm,
    On your pillow
    Dies the storm,
    Propped against the wall I rest,
    Rubbing lipstick
    Off my chest,
    Tracing eyelids covered seas,
    Times they bellow,
    Times at peace,
    Trying in your dreams to sneak
    For one single
    Anguished peek,
    Is it me, your wounded lips
    Gently seek?







Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Fifty Two Letters...

    blushing east,
    melting mist,
    glinting dew,
    godly view...
                    ...rising you.
















Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Embrace...

    Then she tumbled down the mountain,
    Rolling pebble sharp of edge,
    First a tinkle, then a rumble,
    Then a thunder joined its pledge,
    Stone to rock, then mighty boulders,
    Half a mountain pouring down,
    Splitting trunks and crackling timber,
    Breaks the mountain's forest crown,
    Deep the valley I am waiting,
    Red my roses painted blood,
    Thorns alight and petals shining,
    Stumbles on the crushing flood,
    To the raving raging fury
    Arms I open grinning wild,
    Trough cascading mud and glory
    Wading like a brainless child,
    Till I smother warm and tender
    And my garden gently dries,
    And a path the pebble's burning
    Till against my heart it dies.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Knives...

    Knives,
    Cutting through me,
    Tens of them, hundreds of them,
    Some sharp, some blunt, some dented,
    Seeing you walk... so slowly... so painfully...
    Knowing I cannot rush to your side and offer you an arm, a shoulder,
    A life...
    Knowing I must hide while you hold on to another arm,
    To another shoulder,
    Not apologetically but determinedly,
    Proud in your body, in your life, in your torment,
    I look,
    Shamed in knowing I force my presence upon you,
    While you wouldn't want me to see you this way,
    While you would give away a chunk of your life to entertain the image,
    The ideal woman you imagine I carry in my mind,
    The ideal woman I do have in my mind,
    The one I love,
    The ideal woman you are.
    Yes, the ideal woman you are.
    I look,
    I know,
    The more I look the more I know,
    I know you know,
    That it cuts me to pieces and I roll in pain with you,
    That I don't give a damn,
    That I would gladly swap places with you...
    That I would give my life for you,
    The way you would...
    That I love you,
    The way you do...

    Knives,
    Thousands of knives,
    Slicing my skin, ripping my entrails,
    Seeing you then not seeing you again,
    Seeing you for a few seconds,
    Forming a few mute words in the air,
    Blinded by the look of love, of fear, of flowing warmth,
    Blinded by the neck, by the face, the hair, the hand...
    A few seconds, then gone.
    Forever?
    Oh, God, no, not forever,
    My thoughts chasing you, my eyes seeing you,
    Minutes later, hours later,
    A lifetime later?
    O, God, no, not a lifetime later,
    Not a lifetime of memories,
    Of bitter regrets lining sweet memories,
    Of knives sawing through living tissue, through bone,
    Through sanity...
    While wheels roll away,
    And you sit there looking ahead,
    Smiling tears in your eyes reflecting mine,
    And every second pulls you further and further away...

    Knives.
    Countless.
    Reminding me.
    Of you,
    Of a love never born,
    Of a love never to die.

    Knives.
    Meaningless, irrelevant.

    Knives.
    Blessed.
    Reminding me.
    Of you.
    Of a love never born.
    Of a love never to die.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Touches...

    I want to comb your wet hair,
    After the shower,
    Stick the comb deep into it, at the top of your head,
    And pull it slowly, slowly, watching the parting strands,
    Slowly, touching the nape of your neck,
    Your shoulder blades,
    Your spine, lower, to your waist,
    Then pick up a second strand,
    Stick the comb deep into the soft silk,
    And gently pull down again,
    My fingertips touching your skin,
    Your eyes closed, dreaming,
    Slowly, slowly, to your waist,
    Then lower...

    I want to massage your feet,
    Pour soft glinting oil on your ankles, on the back of your knees,
    On the back of your thighs,
    And knead muscle by muscle,
    Bone by bone,
    The oil soaking into your skin,
    Your flesh soft and giving,
    My fingers touching the soles of your feet,
    Your thin ankles, your knees,
    One, then the other,
    Pushing the slow moving waves of flesh one way, then the other,
    Up to your thighs,
    Then higher...

    I want to touch your lips pink,
    I want to touch your fingernails red,
    I want to touch your eyelashes black...

    I want to paint your life sweet,
    I want to paint your life happy,
    I want to paint your life love...

    I want to paint me next to you.

    I want to love you.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Gave Me Life...

    Feels as though I've never been
                                     born before,
    Out of reach this strangely odd
                                     distant shore,
    Life or death a blending blur
                                     none to care,
    In a mindless children's game
                                     truth or dare.

    Passing suns through changing moons
                                     rolling on,
    Spring to summer, autumn dies,
                                     winter's gone,
    Smile forgotten on my lips,
                                     mind at rest,
    Hoping night forever sets
                                     in my chest.

    Gently darkness touched my brow
                                     reaching out,
    With its kiss of winter cold
                                     touched my mouth,
    Just as night was closing in,
                                     like a wife,
    You, like fire swept me on,
                                     gave me life.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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We...

    I took you by the hand,
    We rushed across the sand,
    We dived into the giant waves and kicked away from land.

    I caught you by the hand,
    We scrambled up the sand,
    We dived into the jungle thick into the no-man’s land.

    I held you by the hand,
    We slid down to the sand,
    We loved till flames ablaze have set the sky, the sea, the land.

    We sat there hand in hand,
    We sat on silken sand,
    We sat until the end of time, of sky, of sea, of land.






Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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You, I, Us...

    yearnings old,
    suspires soft,
    infinite, absolute, naďve desire,
    kindling affection threading heavenly yarn,
    wanton euphoria astride rampant emotion overgilding nascent eternity...

    words, big words,
    not big enough to engulf the need,
    the passion, the endless ache demanding its rights,
    the right to rise, the right to burn, the right to never set...











Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Answer...

    Do you think it’s joy or sorrow
    blankas,
    blankwith rage,
    blanktrue lovers strife ?
    Do you think it’s hell or heaven
    blankfor
    blankthe one
    blankwho wields the knife?
    Do you think it’s sin or blessing
    blankbeing
    blankfriend
    blankor being wife?
    I believe that I have loved you
    blanknow,
    blankand ere,
    blankand all my life.

    Do you think it’s right or wrong,
    blankif,
    blankwith joy,
    blankI loudly sing?
    Do you think it's strange or not
    blankthat
    blanka bee
    blankdies with its sting?
    Do you think it’s true or false
    blankthat
    blankthe lion’s
    blankjungle’s king?
    I believe that I will love you
    blanktill
    blankthe end
    blankof life’s short spring.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Puppies...

    I was born two moons ago,
    How I know it? I don’t know.
    Maybe mommy, sweet and kind,
    Wished it straight into my mind,
    Like her mommy, yes, it’s true,
    And her mommy’s mommy too...
            ...wish I knew.

    I was weak, and wet, and blind,
    Mommy licked my front, my hind,
    Then, surprise, before I could
    Squeal, as any puppy should,
    Whoosh, my brother lands on me,
    Then my sisters, one, two, three...
            ... oh gee.

    Crawling round my mommy’s tit,
    All of us, with puppy grit,
    Squealing, squashing tail and head,
    Mommy licking, mighty glad,
    Biting, toothless, brother’s paw,
    “This my tit, this is the law”...
    With my sisters crawling by,
    Buried me, oh my, oh my,
    Squirming, moaning, sniffing loud,
    Mommy looking, fierce and proud,
    And with muzzle soft and deft,
    Pushing each, to right, to left,
    And in moments, all asleep,
    Each a nipple, sucking deep,
    No more squabble, no more squeal,
    Gone the whining, gone the thrill,
    Mommy’s tired, closed her eyes,
    Mommy’s happy, mommy cries?...
            ...mommy sighs.

    Sucking mommy’s tasty milk,
    Cuddled ’gainst her belly’s silk,
    Growing stronger by the day,
    Growing bolder all the way,
    Taking long exhausting trips –
    Mommy’s tail to her ears tips,
    Finding new exciting smells,
    Hearing voices, hearing bells,
    And one day – oh, mommy, help!
    Who’s that ugly beady whelp?
    Mommy barks and jumps with joy,
    Oh, my pup, you see..., oh boy,
    Eyes you opened, goshly grace,
    This is just your brother’s face,
    Let me lick your pretty eyes,
    Gosh, they’re brown, oh mighty nice,
    Now you’re almost dog complete,
    All you need is just a bit...
            ...of teeth.

    One full moon, and then one more,
    Not a single moment’s bore,
    Found some giants, scared me shit,
    Mommy laughs – don’t be a twit,
    These, the humans call them kid,
    Some are nasty, gosh forbid,
    Ours are the softy kind,
    Just sit down on your behind,
    Smile at them, just wag your tail,
    Show them who’s this cutie male,
    Roll around, your belly show,
    And they’ll scratch it fore you know,
    And they’ll play with you and fight,
    And their finger you may bite,
    There’s one secret you should know –
    When they smile, their teeth will show,
    God of humans, so the tale,
    Punished female, kid, and male...
            ...with no tail.

    Few more suns, then one day morn,
    Mommy says – my dear first born,
    And you others, pups of my...
    Time has come to say good bye,
    Giant humans make the rule,
    Soon they start what they call school,
    And your mommy’s very sad,
    Yet your mommy’s mighty glad,
    ‘Cause the human kids with you
    Will find giant humans who
    Will provide you food and care,
    Happy homes, and love to share,
    Come to mommy, rub my nose,
    Take a proud and fearsome pose,
    Your adventure starts today,
    Listen what I have to say –
    Love thy human, by his side
    Always stay, but never hide...
            ... your dog’s pride.

    Bye-bye mommy, one last bite,
    One last lick, you’re out of sight,
    Brother whimpers, sisters hide,
    I remember! and with pride
    On the basket’s rim I lean,
    Paws and muzzle fierce and mean,
    But I’d like so much, I too,
    To be squealing after you...
    You I promise, mommy dear,
    Head up high, no shade of fear,
    Your advice burnt deep inside
    Let it be my faithful guide,
    Bye-bye mommy, what’s this yawn
    Stretching muzzle dusk to dawn,
    Oh, I’m sleepy, kind of fear...
    Miss your warmth... on no, no tear,
    Promised you and I’ll fulfil...
    Wonder whose is this thin, shrill...
            ...squeal?

    Giant human female kid
    Opens up the basket’s lid,
    She and friends then sit around,
    “Anybody? Puppy hound?”
    I, my brother, sisters too,
    Wonder what’s this boo-hoo-hoo,
    Rushing giants, screaming kids,
    Giant mother baby feeds,
    Snapping jaws... another clan?
    Dog to dog like man to man?
    Suddenly I start to crawl,
    Suddenly I want to bawl,
    Backing into brother, sis,
    Mommy, mommy, you I miss,
    Mouth I open... wait... what’s that?
    Is it human, is it cat?
    Screaming, shrieking with delight
    Do I dream? Is it a sight?...
            ...not quite.

    Tearing passage, no excuse,
    In her wake twelve trodden shoes,
    Landing like no normal dame
    (Where in hell I know this name?)
    In my basket, crushing fur,
    Kissing noses, all’s a blur,
    Brother, sisters, kids and I
    Is she real?... looks like... my...
    Storm erupts in basketland,
    Barking puppies bite her hand,
    Smiling tails with sheer delight,
    Smiling teeth (that human plight...),
    And this crazy human she
    Picks me up, I’m glad, I pee
    In her lap. She jumps with joy,
    Keeps on mumbling “boy, oh, boy...”
    Other humans passing by,
    Some will laugh, some asking why...
            ... some just sigh.

    Slowly, slowly, noise and storm
    Fade away, I’m snug and warm,
    Hearing thumps in woman’s chest,
    Feels like mommy, close to breast,
    And I yawn, and then I itch,
    And I love this human bitch...
            ...she a witch?

    One thing’s sure, I know, you see -
    She would like a tail like me.
    Why? you ask, so she could smile.
    And I knew it all the while,
    ‘Cause, and here I must confess,
    Had a peek under her dress...
            ...can you guess?

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Cool...

    I pull my hand back, frightened,
    For a moment I touched you
    Then I found out it is the cool of steel
    Fitting so warmly in my palm,
    I pulled my hand back, frightened.

    I stopped counting at thirty two.
    Days, not years.
    First day was usual,
    You probably forgot, or busy.
    Same second day,
    After all you live your life, I live mine.
    Third day I felt uneasy,
    After ten days I knew,
    I did not have to consult my inbox anymore,
    It was not going to come.
    Your last mail was the last I received,
    No other is going to be the last.
    What was it you wrote there?
    Not even a hint, your voice so cheerful,
    Promising. Then quiet. No more.
    I don't even wonder why,
    What good?
    It is over.
    Was it there at all, ever?
    Fire, passion, promises...
    Was it there at all?

    I pull my hand back, frightened,
    For a moment I touched you
    Cool, warm...
    I stretch my fingers again,
    I want to touch you, curl my fingers around you...
    So cool... So warm...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Tunes Two...

    lay your head upon my chest,
    all your worries lay to rest,
    with your hand between my thighs,
    let the sandman close your eyes,
    draw your lips in pouting smile,
    slow your heartbeat gently, while
    in your ears i’ll whisper sounds,
    fairy tales of love abounds,
    maidens fair of love will sing...
    while my fingers trace your ring.

            * * *

    missumissumissumiss,
    is it curse or is it bliss,
    luvuluvuluvuluv,
    knuckle duster, velvet glove,
    huguhuguhuguhug,
    raving mad or gently snug,
    kissukissukissukiss,
    placid lakes or raging seas...?

    kayteekayteekayteekay,
    will u go or will u stay,
    missuluvuhugukiss,
    bliss, glove, snug, and raging seas...

            * * *

    puppy eyes, if tail you had,
    it would beat so mighty glad,
    that three farms within three miles
    would make butter with your smiles.

    pretty eyes, if bark you would,
    your concert would be so good,
    that three farms would sell their ploughs
    buying ear plugs to their cows.

    but your eyes are skylight blue,
    and your voice sweet lovers coo,
    and three thousand miles away,
    someone dreams of you all day...

            * * *

    somewhere between
    of june to may,
    it was a dark and dreary day,
    her lips were cracked,
    her nose was red,
    she didn’t want to go to bed,
    her eyes were swollen,
    cough and sneeze,
    her voice a creaking painful wheeze,
    a raspy breath,
    an aching chest,
    refusing flat to take a rest...
    i looked at her,
    and then... she smiled,
    and smile on smile on smile she piled,
    and then the skies
    the gates threw wide,
    the sun exploding glowing pride,
    and little birds,
    on sills parade,
    the light invading every shade,
    and wilted flowers,
    growing buds,
    and flying bats just going nuts,
    kids at the hop
    yelling with joy,
    a teddy bear sleeps with a boy,
    i looked at her,
    she smiled at me,
    i’ll never elsewhere wish to be,
    i looked at her,
    my childish dame,
    the only fairy worth the name...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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You And I...

    you wrote a poem,
    i read the words,
    you played a laughter,
    i heard the chords,
    you said forever
    and one more day,
    i feared the never
    that’s paving my way.

    you counted the seasons,
    we sadly have lost,
    the falls and the winters
    we’re hoping to host,
    i pained for the summers,
    the tunes of the spring,
    and prayed for the seasons
    tomorrows will bring.

    you rhymed of a bridge
    you built lover’s art,
    you laid out the bricks,
    you reached for my heart...
    i grabbed dreamland’s hammer,
    obeyed your behest,
    your bridge and your heartbeat
    i nailed to my chest.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Fairy Week...

    Monday.
    This there stupid fairy bitch,
    Just the thought of her - I itch,
    Started telling me a story
    Long and winded, fat and gory,
    Buzzing without shame and fear
    Right ear in and out left ear,
    Till I felt - oh, what the heck,
    I will squeeze her scrawny neck,
    Just to get my quiet back...

    Tuesday.
    Couldn't get her yesterday,
    She just wriggled out of way,
    And like nothing happened fore
    Started spinning other bore,
    Sitting high upon my nose
    In this careless fancy pose,
    I just picked my loaded gun,
    No, I didn't feel like fun,
    Here's a fairy... here is none...

    Wednesday.
    As one surely could have guessed,
    She was not that much impressed,
    After patching nose and chin
    (Mine of course, hope none had seen)
    Shifted gears to rumbling tone,
    Jokes, and songs, and on, and on...
    Where's this sling I bought today?
    I'll just sling her far away,
    To that far south stinking bay...

    Thursday.
    Yeah, I know, the door bell rang,
    Did I feel some heart deep pang?
    Sadly thought - "It is the cops,
    Carrying the ugly corpse..."
    Pulled the door, unlocked the chain,
    What the hell is this again?
    Shrilly laughing like a pup,
    You just started singing rap...
    Did I call her 'you' line up?...

    Friday.
    Started stomping round the room,
    Throwing axe, and knife, and broom,
    You...hmmm... ranted through it all,
    Flying like you had a ball,
    Was I having kind of fit
    Or... what's fair... enjoying it?...
    Then, of sudden, through this scud,
    One short squeal... a solid thud...
    No more you, but drops of blood...

    Saturday.
    No more sign of you, this hush,
    Where's the craze, the noise, the rush,
    Cringed in wait, in fear, in pain,
    Lay across the bloody stain,
    Humming half remembered runes
    From your noise, your rant, your tunes,
    No more screams under my bed,
    No more screams of sad, or glad,
    All the screams are in my head...

    Sunday.
    Tender knock... the door ajar...
    You are there, so is the scar
    Left across your naked breast...
    Pulled you tight against my chest,
    No more fairy, woman flesh
    In this body, God, so fresh,
    Don't care how, your lips about
    To dispel and ease my doubt,
    I just sealed them with my mouth...

    The Rest Of My Life.
    From the bridge to jump I'd try
    If it wasn't all that high,
    I would jump under the train
    If it wasn't for the rain,
    I would... got you, minds a gawking,
    Like the buzzards round me flocking...
    Fairy, lover, woman, wife,
    Through your scar I'll drink your life,
    Scalding passion ever rife...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Puppy, Kaleidoscope, Fairy...

    It felt so small against my shoe,
    It had three weeks, or maybe two,
    Its eyes a blur of shade and light
    Its squeal a murmur in the night,
    A fur so soft, a wagging tail,
    A low demanding hungry wail,
    Imploring warmth, imploring care,
    An innocent and drilling stare,
    I picked it up, into my shirt,
    Its little nose with stains of dirt,
    And then I laughed, the little thing
    Riding my belly like a king,
    Tried hard my nipple, quite uncouth,
    To rip with suckling toothless mouth...

    It was a tube, its colors bright,
    Outside was day, inside was night,
    And full with hundred pieces glass,
    And colored beads, and burnished brass,
    I looked its end... oh magic world
    With thousand shapes as round it twirled,
    And changing suns with rolling stars
    And flashes off gems rich with scars,
    No end of forms I tried to count,
    One special shape I tried to mount,
    But round and round the wonders shone,
    One life a second, then it's gone,
    My senses drunk, my mind a haze,
    A flowing dream on eyes ablaze...

    I thought... oh no, oh, could it be?
    A flood of gold from neck to knee,
    Were these there eyes? this depth unseen
    Where worlds do end and lives begin,
    Where these there wings? so thin and frail,
    On which sweet dreams and wishes sail,
    This rustling sound? when close she came,
    This scorching smell? a breathing flame,
    I couldn't see, I saw too well,
    I couldn't feel, I felt the spell,
    The magic mist thin through the air,
    The gentle breeze, the senseless scare,
    No human words could that portray,
    No words of wonder, nor of pray,
    And know I knew with sudden fright
    I've seen the glory, touched the light...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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As Smooth...

    As smooth, and as scary
    blankas a jungle snake,
    As cool, as refreshing
    blankas a mountain lake,
    As hot, and as scorching
    blankas the desert sun,
    As graceful and as deadly
    blankas a panther’s run…

    Lady Oakley – pick your gun,
    Shoot the barrels, one and one,
    Smash the door, and rape my mind,
    Clutch my heart, my torn lips grind,
    Drain my blood, and drink my tear,
    Whisper roaring in my ear,
    Touch my brow, feed me your breast,
    And my head let come to rest,
    Gone the fire, gone the quake,
    Pray me sleep and never wake…

    I open my eyes.
    A hair thin sun ray plays colourful tunes on the silky cobweb strings
    Woven in a remote corner of the room.
    The spider running round and round. My brain dizzy.
    Was I there?
    When was I there? Does a there exist at all?
    Closing my eyes, trying to reach back…
    Beyond reach,
    Beyond life.
    Forever. For never.
    Eyes tight shut, senses awakening to the memory,
    Memories? Illusions? None and both?
    Almost there, almost touching, almost…
    Then just the pain. The loss. The emptiness.
    I get out of bed, swollen eyes looking back from the mirror,
    Trying to stand... searing pain shooting through my chest,
    My fingers slowly, fearfully exploring,
    Finding nothing,
    Nothing… but…
    What is this red stain against my heart furiously fading away,
    Lest I see it…
    Lest I remember…
    Lest I return…

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Chill...

    The sudden chill in my bones.
    It was sunny,
    Blue sky,
    Stars at mid day,
    Red roses magically staining the dunes’ deep yellow.
    Then,
    The sudden chill,
    The freezing deadly wind caress,
    Hiding the sun,
    Darkening the sky,
    Extinguishing the stars.
    Killing the rose.









Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Abstract Two...

    So soft on my ear,
    Words, sounds, music,
    Caressing my thoughts, building images,
    Of life, legends, love,
    I close my eyes,
    To see, to feel, to immerse,
    Passers by node,
    Dogs bark,
    Cars swoosh mindlessly,
    I am not there,
    I float, I see myself seated,
    I see myself smile,
    I close my dream's eyes,
    I float, I see myself in my dream,
    I see myself closing my dream's eyes,
    I float, I am somewhere,
    Out of me, out of my dream,
    Waiting,
    Waiting for what? waiting for whom?
    Is it for you?
    Looking around,
    Who is looking around?
    I? I in the dream? I outside the dream?
    Looking for sense, for direction,
    Looking for you?

    Are you?
    Do you exist?
    Are you part of this world's flesh or part of my dreams nebulae?
    Or part of my dream's dream,
    And when I wake and I fall into the dream,
    And when I wake again and I fall into the world,
    And when I wake in the world and I turn the ignition key,
    Gun the roaring motor to its hundreds horses neighing power
    And burn the tires right through the thick concrete wall?...

    So soft on my ear,
    Words, sounds, music,
    The moment of madness gone,
    I remove the key from the ignition, one never knows...
    And I swap dream with imagination,
    Imagining a woman,
    One woman I learnt to know years ago,
    Many, probably by the time I was born already,
    I knew her, it just took so long to meet her,
    Looking for her yet never knowing,
    Despairing for her yet knowing I will never meet her,
    Till I met her,
    In a dream turned life,
    In a life turned dream,
    My dream, my life,
    Are you?
    Do you exist?

    Shapes, colors, strange noise, voices,
    Many shapes but none the right,
    Many voices but none the right,
    A space left, waiting, pulsating, living,
    Waiting for your shape,
    Waiting for your voice,
    Waiting for you...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Questions...

    Why the moon
          Is barren rock,
    Why the clouds
          The sunset mock,
    Why the goose
          Is flying south,
    Why your lips
          Besiege my mouth?

    How come sol
          Precedes to la,
    How come mom
          Traded with ma,
    How come sun
          Returns each day,
    How come you
          Ask if you may?

    When does steel
          Give up and rust,
    When does love
          Give in to lust,
    When does stardust
          Turn to sand,
    When will you
          Set free my hand?

    Who’s to break
          A pledge of troth,
    Who will save
          The flame lured moth,
    Who decides
          This man, this beast,
    Who right now
          My fingers kissed?

    Whence the tune
          For lullaby,
    Whence the paint
          For butterfly,
    Whence the chill
          For mountain spring,
    Whence the spell
          That forged my ring?

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Gold...

    You cut your hair short...
    That golden cascade thundering down to your shoulders,
    Thousands of golden streams
    Undulating in the slightest breeze,
    At the slightest nod of your head,
    Rolling in conquering embrace time and again
    Once your head rolls slightly on your pillow,
    Gleams, hidden in the dark,
    Blinding in the sun,
    Gold,
    You cut your hair short...

    A golden crop
    Mindlessly swept off the floor
    Into the mindless final darkness of a garbage can,
    Awaiting oblivion in the mouth of a mindless hot furnace,
    Threads of you,
    Lost to the world,
    Lost to me.

    You cut your hair short,
    And gold wildly sparkles in your eyes...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Circles...

    Morning.
    The hardest slice of the day.
    I open my eyes,
    I know I cannot stretch my hand to the pillow next to me,
    And touch your hair,
    I get up,
    I know I cannot bend over your side of the bed,
    And kiss your closed eyes,
    I wash, dress, leave,
    I know I cannot hold for a moment,
    And listen to your calm, peaceful breathing...

    Noon.
    The hardest slice of the day.
    You are regarding the phone, cannot call you,
    You are having lunch, cannot join you,
    You are shopping, cannot carry your bag...

    Evening.
    The hardest slice of the day.
    Driving back to a house empty of you,
    You are else,
    Dining alone,
    You are dining with else,
    Not smiling,
    You are smiling to else...

    Night.
    The hardest slice of the day.
    Knowing that tomorrow comes morning again...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Almost...

    One day when God was kind of bored,
    He told himself - I am the Lord,
    I gave them heaven, gave them hell,
    And sight, and taste, and touch, and smell,
    I gave them laws, I gave them fun,
    I gave them love, I gave them sun,
    Well... free will too, that's quite a flaw,
    He smiled - I'm only God, you know...
    I'll leave behind some token sign
    And start on this my new design,
    I hope my wild unruly kids
    Won't blow this world to tiny bits,
    While in my lab, remote from all,
    I'll build an angel as they call.

    As some might know and some might say,
    His lab is mighty far away,
    And what is timeless in His eyes
    Is thousands years under these skies...
    So meanwhile laws we learned to break,
    And tiny suns alone to make,
    And love inside much empty shell,
    And bits of heaven, lots of hell,
    So when at last He finished there,
    His angel models ready were,
    (Some black, some white, some pale, some dark,
    Some sing, some dance, some talk, some bark)...
    He looked at us again... oh, no,
    And thunders raced from eyes to brow...

    His sleeves pulls up, His mind so clear -
    It's time I make some order here,
    So get prepared you world of shame
    To learn again to spell My name,
    And listen to the roaring sound
    About to come from round and round...
    Well, so He roars, but we all know
    His heart is soft, and all this show
    Just to ensure that not again
    Will He send fire, flood, and pain,
    And years on years He'll bear with us,
    And teach, and school, as eons pass,
    Only... till then, hmmm... (so He says)
    My angel models I must place...

    He pulls the spring, and then a whirr,
    As blood and heart begin to stir,
    The angels slowly float to ground,
    Well, then somehow they will be found,
    And for the time till end of wait
    They will just share a human fate,
    And love and death and life and pain,
    And once it's over... once again,
    Forever guessing - who is me,
    If do I am, if should I be?
    Till that one day when He has time,
    By then the world turns back to rhyme,
    And He will finish the design
    Of this His toy almost divine...

        *    *    *

    Yes, I have seen her, I can boast,
    Some bit of wild, some bit of lost,
    Bit blonde and pale, bit blue of eye,
    Bit small, and soft, and gay, and shy,
    I simply guessed in minutes two
    She is just not the me and you,
    So then I tried to find the mark -
    The black and white and pale and dark,
    Tried hard to find the zipping line
    Looked left and right her tender spine,
    She just maintained I'm kind of nut,
    Right she may be... yeah right, yeah - but
    She is an angel, this I bet,
    She simply doesn't know it yet...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Born, Living, Loving...

    Yesterday and more ago,
    Half a century, or so,
    Time the plains give in to snow,
    Acting life’s most awesome show,
    Knowing no...

    Yesterday and some ago,
    Half through life, through bliss, through blow,
    Time the seasons slowly flow,
    Acting life’s most common show,
    Knowing no...

    Yesterday not long ago,
    Half a world away, or no,
    Time the sudden passions glow,
    Acting life’s most scorching show,
    Knowing so...




Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Loves Me, Loves Me Not...

    Does she love me,
    Loves me not,
    Does she love me,
    Loves me not...
    Rolled the petals one by one,
    Laid them down to form a sun,
    Counted once,
    Then counted twice,
    Lost the count,
    Then counted thrice...
    Hey there, beetle, red of dot,
    Stop your chasing round my lot,
    Climb my finger,
    Hop, you go,
    Find some job
    Before the snow,
    Buzz away or chew some grain...
    Oops, I lost my count again.
    Little matters,
    If I may,
    I will start
    The other way...

    Loves me not,
    Or does she love,
    Loves me not,
    Or does she love...
    Stuck the petals back in place,
    Red with yellow interlace,
    Mixing colors,
    Scrambling shapes,
    Scratch my head
    And eat some grapes...
    What’s a’ matter puppy dog,
    Stop a’ grunting like a hog,
    Bite my ankle,
    Pull my cuff,
    Acting as
    You’re mighty tough,
    Go and chase some worms in grass...
    Oh, mon dieu, what number was?
    Well, so what,
    Is worth the pain,
    I just like
    To count again...

    Does she love me,
    Love she does,
    Does she love me,
    Love she does...
    In the middle of the dell,
    Drowned in acrid autumns smell,
    Mid of petals
    Musty dry,
    Leaves immersed
    In rusty dye,
    Left of me the virgin mound,
    Right of me the one-two count,
    And from sun come
    To sun go,
    Booming heart,
    And eyes aglow,
    Moving petals left to right,
    Leaves, then blades, an eerie sight,
    Bird and insect
    Join the buzz,
    Does she love me,
    Love she does...

    Late and dark, is it a dream?
    Kiddie tunes pour like a stream,
    In my pocket sleeps the beetle,
    Puppy marks my face with spittle,
    And I count, and count, and count,
    And the numbers mount and mount...
    Twenty thousand forty two,
    You love me and I love you...
    Fifty thousand eighty three,
    I love you and you love me...
    Thirty billion and one
    ...And the count has just begun...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Three Wishes...

    Thru seconds rush, thru minutes pass, thru days and weeks and years,
    Thru mourning death, thru screaming birth, thru life’s unending cheers,
    Thru war and peace, thru peace and war, thru hope and darkest fears,
    And you are there, to guide my way,
          Forever and a day.

    Thru muted pain when body squirms and screams without a sound,
    Thru bleeding hurt when gushing wound is ocean’s pit profound,
    Thru quiet agonizing soul prey to hot hell’s own hound,
    And you are there, to ward the blow,
          Forever and ago.

    Thru songs of praise and hymns of love, thru birds of chime divine,
    Thru sunrise bright and peaceful skies, thru sweet and fragrant wine,
    Thru lovers’ kiss and mothers’ bliss, thru smiles the day outshine,
    And I am there, your hand to tend,
          Forever and no end.




Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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No'n'Sense...

    Let me see,
    One, two, three,
    You love coke and I hate tea,
    Hide’n’Seek,
    Poke’n’Peek,
    You’re no paddle, I’m no creek,
    Chickens peck,
    What the heck,
    C’mon baby let us neck...

    Let us jive,
    Three, four, five,
    You bake bread and I don’t drive,
    Roll’n’Rock,
    Shares’n’Stock,
    You’re no holly, I’m no smoke,
    Lions roar,
    What’s the score,
    C’mon baby give me more...

    Let’s try heaven,
    Five, six, seven,
    You like Poe and I’m no Raven,
    Smile’n’Laugh,
    Spit’n’Cough,
    You’re no nail and I’m no tough,
    Robins sing,
    When’s the spring,
    C’mon baby blunt my sting...

    Let’s guess when,
    Eight, nine, ten,
    You’re in bed, I practice zen,
    Chime’n’Bell,
    Talk’n’Tell,
    You’re no bloody, I’m no hell,
    Lizards hiss,
    Where’s the fleece,
    C’mon baby let us kiss...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Who Said Sad Is Blue?...

    Who said sad is blue?

    Sad is sunny.
    Hordes of undisciplined rays invading darkest corners,
    Hordes of drooling babies hungrily clutching mother's breast,
    Hordes of mad butterflies conquering horizon to horizon.
    Sad is tender.
    Tender rays exploding in colored waterfalls at sharp glass edges,
    Tender babies kicking mindlessly at a world desperately waiting for them,
    Tender butterflies living one lifetime between one sunrise to one sunset.
    Sad is music.
    Rays plucking at closed eyelids,
    Babies singing with toothless mouths,
    Butterflies dancing at a tune they are lone to hear.

    Sad is sunshine, tenderness, music... without you.





Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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H & H...

    Hell. Heaven.
    Heaven. Hell.
    Just two words I know too well.

    Heaven. Is it a what, is it a where?
    Is it a when?

    That short imperceptible smile radiating from cloud free tear stained eyes,
    That gentle unfelt hand squeeze at ends of trembling soft fingertips,
    That binding inexistent unbreakable promise chaining a heartbeat to a heart not of its own body?...

    In the smiling eyes,
    In the squeezing fingertips,
    In the promising heartbeat?...

    When a smile clears up the clouds from the tear stained eyes,
    When a gentle squeeze wakes up the tremor in soft fingertips,
    When a promise chains a heartbeat to an alien heart?...

    Hell.
    Heaven, and losing it.
    If what, if where, if when...

    Hell. Heaven.
    Heaven. Hell.
    Rolls and rolls the carrousel...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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You...

    I was sitting on my bed. Thinking about nothing in particular.
    It was two thirty five PM.
    Suddenly, you appeared at my window.
    Peaking inside the room and gazing at me with curious
    Slightly frightened eyes.
    Jumping in and cautiously advancing in my direction.
    I didn’t dare move. Did you see me?
    You did.
    You stopped for a moment, as if hesitating, then unexpectedly
    You were by my side.
    Watching me cautiously, waiting to see if I move,
    And little by little getting nearer and nearer.
    I was frozen. The perfection, the grace, the whiteness of you.
    A knock on the door. No! I shouted. But you were gone.

    I was sitting on a bench. Deep in thought.
    It was seven fifteen PM.
    Suddenly, you were all around me.
    Slowly closing in, swirling around and around
    But not yet daring touch me.
    Rushing in my direction and then darting away.
    I didn’t dare move. Did you feel me?
    You did.
    You calmed down for a moment, as if hesitating, then unexpectedly
    You were all over me.
    Blowing my hair, caressing in my face,
    Drowning me into your cool stormy embrace.
    I was frozen. The perfection, the grace, the softness of you.
    Somebody knocked on my shoulder. No! I shouted. But you were gone.

    I was sitting on top of the mountain. Thinking about you.
    It was five twenty AM.
    Suddenly, I saw you rising in front of me.
    Gazing at me with your terribly hot, incinerating eyes.
    Storming me with your fiery bliss,
    Blinding me with your screaming light.
    I didn’t dare move. Did you kiss me?
    You did.
    For a moment a grey cloud passed over your eyes
    And a cool calm descended over the world, then unexpectedly
    The cloud melted away
    And you were there again.
    Burning my eyes, turning my lips into bloody blisters.
    I was frozen. The perfection, the grace, the majestic greatness of you.
    A cloud knocked against the mountain side. No! I shouted. But you were gone.

      *

    The dove.
    The breeze.
    The sun.

    You.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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A Letter...

    With you. Alone. Writing.

    A blues in the air,
    A harmonica weeping,
    A coat on the chair
    Me company keeping,
    Cold beer in my left,
    A pen in the other,
    Try with unskilful deft
    One word, then another...

    With you. Alone. Writing a letter.

    My sweet dearest love...
    I write, then strike out,
    My virgin white dove...
    I sense you will pout,
    My summer wind whirl...
    No... that’s not yet so quite,
    My sweet little girl...
    I know this is right.

    With you. Alone. Writing a letter to you.

    My sweet little girl,
    Roads so many away,
    Shall I send you a pearl
    To remember one day,
    Or a sweet worded plea
    Being so far from you,
    Shall I roam land and sea,
    Always telling I’m blue,
    Do you still kiss each night
    My old picture in mind,
    And then early with light
    There you hope me to find,
    Will this letter's strange whiff
    After touching your breast,
    Keep you wondering if
    Ever I'll come your nest?...

    With me. Alone. Writing a letter to me.

    My dear gentle sir,
    Roads so many away,
    Not a pearl's the stir
    To remember one day,
    Not a sweet plea from you
    Being so far from me,
    No need roaming world through,
    Claiming true blue to be,
    I still kiss every night
    Your old picture in mind,
    Every early day's light
    Here I hope you to find,
    This short letter's secure
    Pressing tight to my breast,
    And I know safe and sure
    You’ll soon come to my nest...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Closed My Eyes...

    Closed my eyes.
    Trying to write you a poem,
    Using words never said before,
    Words you never heard before.
    But I failed.

    Closed my eyes.
    Trying to imagine,
    The breezy fragrance hiding in the wild recesses of your endlessly flowing fluttering hair,
    Blending silver sparks
            with soft light hints,
            shadows grey
            with color glints...
    Inhaling the inebriating forest perfumes burning bloody trails into my lungs...
    Dizzy,
    My breathing rough, irregular...
            But I failed.

    Closed my eyes.
    Trying to imagine,
    The stormy touch hiding in the capped fire wells of your softly reaching promising fingertips,
    Blending venom speed
            with fairy dust,
            heavens sting
            with mortal lust...
    Shivering at the howling forest squalls cutting bloody traces along my skin...
    Mindless,
    My body aching, asking...
            But I failed.

    Closed my eyes.
    Trying to imagine,
    The killing hurricane hiding in the erupting volcano of your gently inviting smiling lips,
    Blending honey dew
            with cleaving pain,
            freezing hell
            with scathing rain...
    Writhing at the blazing forest fires carving smoldering paths across my soul...
    Lost,
    My self searching, begging...
            But I failed.

    Closed my eyes.
    Trying to write you a poem,
    Using same words I said before,
    Same words you heard before.
    And you were there...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Dance...

    Dancing with you,
    Feeling your skin sliding inside the smooth silken sheath enslaving it,
    One shoulder strap fallen baring the smoothness of a thin shoulder,
    My left hand's fingers twined with your right hand's
    Feeling the fingers' metal decorating ribbons click against each other
    While hanging loose at the side of your body
    Touching from time to time your thigh
    And feeling the rippling muscles along it,
    My right hand low on your back,
    Your low cut allowing my fingers the warm taste of skin stretched on your spine...
    And lower,
    Playfully pulling at the robe's fragile seam lines
    Almost tearing them apart,
    Your undulating waist realising in my mind something between hypnosis
    And sea sickness,
    Our knees, touching, separating, touching
    While our thighs push against each other
    Time fleetingly, time lengthwise,
    Time your hip squeezing teasingly into my body
    Lighting me, burning me...
    I feel your breasts pushing against my shirt, my chest,
    Your nipples hard against the fabric testing its strength
    And testing my mind's sanity,
    My head buried in the forest of your artistically disarrayed hair
    While my mouth bites softly your ear,
    Your mouth touches softly my cheek
    And the end of your tongue tastes my pungent after shave,
    Your right hand light behind my head
    Ruffling the short hair at the nape of my neck
    Sending tingling sensations through my body,
    Hurling killing emotions into my chest...
    The music soft,
    The light soft,
    In our ears, in our minds,

    The music never ending,
    In our hearts.
    May I dance you through life, my love?...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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The Link...

    I free you of your promise,
    I free you of your vow,
    I free you of your pledge to love
    Till sun turns cinder glow...

    I don't want chains of honor,
    I don't want chains of steel,
    I don't want chains of time to tie
    Your heart to dreams unreal...

    Your freedom if you want it
    I offer you untold,
    And if you don't... just touch my heart
    Through one small link of gold...







Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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The Light...

    I see a warm yellow light,
    Somewhere, far away,
    I stretch my hand to touch it,
    It is too far,
    I get up, walk towards it,
    And the more I walk the further it gets,
    I hurry up, my feet chasing each other faster,
    The light never closer, yet... warmer, bigger,
    I don't give up, I must reach it, touch it,
    I start running, closing my eyes against the glare,
    Peeling my clothing along the path,
    I have to reach it,
    My right hand stretched far in front of me,
    Trying to gain another yard, another inch,
    Sweat pours down in rivers in a desperate effort to cool my body,
    Trying to protect it from the terrible growing heat,
    I feel my eyelashes burning,
    My skin blistering and exploding,
    My eye pools drying,
    Am I nearer? or is the light turning into fire?
    Is the fire turning into blaze?
    Another few steps,
    Flesh turning to charcoal,
    Breath turning into liquid pain,
    Flying,
    One last step,
    Am I there?
    I jump in...
    I open my arms, open my chest,
    Open my unseeing eyes,
    And for one last glorious moment I burn, I burn,
    My body turns to flames,
    I am in the heart of the sun,
    One spark in infinity,
    One momentary flare on the map of an endless reach,
    And I live,
    And I love,
    And I'm gone...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Seasons...

    Dress in winter my desire,
    Dress in snow my raging fire,
    Dress in grey my rainbow's shine
    Dress in sin your smile divine...

    Carve my agony to summer,
    Carve my heart to master drummer,
    Carve my nightmare to a bliss,
    Carve your sin to riving kiss...

    Let the autumn kill my shiver,
    Let the desert drink my river,
    Let the passion claim my growl,
    Let the sin protect your soul...

    Gone the spring of my ambition,
    Gone the shame of my rendition,
    Gone the dark... my nameless fear,
    Gone the sin... and you are here...


Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Reality...

    Reality. Thousands of miles. Laws, rules.
    Reality. Age, friends, family.
    Reality. The daily, the weekly, eating, sleeping.
    Sleeping in another bed.
    Eating on a far away table. Crying, somebody else wiping your tears.
    Blowing your nose in somebody else's handkerchief.
    Reality.
    The laughter I don't see, the fragrance I don't taste, the blue eyes I don't hear.
    The laughter,
    Your lips parting, your teeth gleaming,
    Your cheeks pulling back allowing small wrinkles to form at your mouth's corners,
    Dimples digging in,
    Shallow wells of sin,
    Bending fore in joy,
    Happy, shy and coy,
    Mouth a deep realm
    Opening its charm,
    Eyes an open book
    With a hungry look,
    Breath a burning flare...
    If I only were...
    The fragrance,
    Your sweat mixing with your tears, with your skin's steam,
    Your undergarments soaked in your sweet feminine smell of life, of passion,
    Rolling little beads,
    Mixed with salty seeds,
    Haze round fingertips,
    Dampness touching lips,
    Artful dancing breast
    In your shirt's hot nest,
    Rose and fleur de lys
    Flavoring your kiss,
    Ankles, wrists, and chin...
    If I could have been...
    The blue eyes,
    Your eyebrows arching up in amazement, in childish wonder,
    Your irises widening like black velvet circles painted on butterfly wings,
    Eyelash batting fast
    Raising golden dust,
    Deafening the sound
    As they drum and bound,
    Moistening the curve
    Of the wild reserve
    Hiding wonders blue,
    Ever shifting hue,
    This enchanting sea...
    If I just could be...

    Reality. The reality that is not there.
    The reality of seeing you, your reflection irreversibly carving itself on my irises,
    The reality of tasting you, your taste irreversibly liquefying my body's insides,
    The reality of hearing you, your voice irreversibly ringing in my memory banks,
    Reality. The reality of smelling you, the reality of touching you.
    The reality of dreaming of you.

    Reality. The reality that is not there.
    That my coal blackened hands are digging,
    That my dirty fingernailed hands are bending,
    That my smarting bloodied hands are forging,
    The reality that will always be there,
    The reality of you.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Snow, Snow...

    Snow, snow, melt away,
    Let my pretty flower fay
    Wake its petals to the wonder
    Sun's warm blessing ripe to plunder
    Through the lust of dying day
    Calm the thunder...

    Snow, snow, hug me in,
    Let my passion's raving sin
    Burn my soul from now to ever
    As I rip from womb the never
    And I seed its next of kin
    Sweet forever...

    Snow, snow, let my bride
    Snuggle gently by my side
    On a bed the white of glory
    Smiling past old why and sorry
    With her whispers' fading tide
    End the story...

    *

    Snow, snow, don't you go
    To the lands of ever glow,
    There's a legend old folks tell
    Of two lovers' burning hell
    Mid of heaven's river flow
    Roars the spell...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Quintet Quartets...

    years ago... how many? two...
    two were we - was I, was you,
    nights ago... how many? none...
    we were one...

        *  *  *

    half a life did melt away,
    now i count each night, each day,
    reaching out each melting hour
    to my flower...

        *  *  *

    tracing far, back through the years...
    gazing forth... last countdown nears,
    barren life turned paradise
    through your eyes...

        *  *  *

    and if god two paths would offer -
    one marked life, and one marked charms,
    thousand years I'd swap for seconds
    in your arms...

        *  *  *

    kings and knights your heart are craving,
    laying rubies deep as knee,
    yet of all the world's rich treasures -
    you chose me...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Quintet Quintets...

    You could lose an elephant in a shopping mall,
    You could fight a vampire bat painted on the wall,
    You could break one spiky heel and depart in style,
    You could melt an icebergs' sea
    Flashing it your smile.
     

        * * *
     

    Haunting sights, rose turned to grey, childhood turned to fraud,
    Terror nightmares turned to black life’s beginner’s road,
    Running, hiding, scared and lone, fright’s fierce lashing burns,
    Then one day, like tiger wakes,
    Cub to woman turns.
     

        * * *
     

    Tough as nails and soft as silk, servant, lady, queen,
    Wit of spirit, joke and phrase, granny, mommy, teen,
    Games, compassion, rescue, smiles, spoiling grown and child,
    Yet inside your silken breast
    Burns the passion wild.
     

        * * *
     

    Awful secrets, pain and fright, you have shared with me,
    Dreams of maybe... whether... if... you have let me see,
    Intimately whispered love, gasping lust, and shame...
    In return – I gave you pain,
    And consuming flame...
     

        * * *
     

    Know... remember?... you were sad over puppy’s grave,
    Oh... remember?... you were glad, once a tree I saved,
    My... remember?... through the rain you would try to fly,
    Yes... remember?... in your arms
    Is my place to die?...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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The Bananas Republic Kitsch...

    I don't care if noble critics
    Streaming out respected schools
    Do decide my humble lyrics
    Break much sacred lofty rules,
    True, they own the wooden dollars
    Thus they think they own the art
    Knowing not the cruel pleasures
    Tied to owning woman's heart.

    If my modest storytelling,
    So they think, is worthless waste,
    And they skip my fameless calling
    In a mindless skimming haste,
    True, they own the blinding spotlight
    Thus they think they own the muse
    Never owning lust as, wildly,
    Crumbles woman's last refuse.

    Yes, my words I dip in honey
    Or I dress in angry thorn
    As they mark with sharpened pencils
    Their deep disgusted scorn,
    True, they own the shallow glory
    Thus they think they own control,
    Pitiful, they'll never conquer
    Depths unknown of woman's soul.

    With my humble crazy lyrics,
    With my modest story tell,
    With my angry thorn or honey
    Painting heaven, painting hell,
    I'm a fearful conquistador,
    What you think... don't give a damn,
    I will praise my woman's glory -
    I love you. All else is spam.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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She's...

    She’s a writer,
    She’s a fighter,
    She’s a lady,
    She’s a whore,
    She’s an angel,
    She’s a devil,
    She’s the woman I adore.

    She’s a dreamer,
    She’s a schemer,
    She’s a servant,
    She’s a queen,
    She’s a virgin,
    She’s a mother,
    She’s my forest’s evergreen.

    She’s a goddess,
    She’s a wild guess,
    She’s a breeze,
    She’s raging gale,
    She’s a smile,
    She’s legend’s fairy,
    She’s my heart’s eternal jail.

    She’s a fire,
    She’s desire,
    She’s an eagle,
    She’s a dove,
    She’s despair,
    She’s hope, she’s sunshine,
    She’s my one and only love.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Royal Flush...

    King of hearts, your marvels old,
    Ace of hearts, your rich untold,
    Ten of hearts, in diamond cold,
    Heart of jacks, in rubies rolled,
    Young and heartless queen in gold,
    Mass your treasures, coin by coin,
    Year by year, your kingdoms join,
    Lust and jewels, hoard and pile,
    Over mountains thousand mile...
    Vain, not hardly worth the while
    Even half my sweetheart’s smile.










Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Searching...

    I've met so many little girls,
    Eyes topaz and gold in curls,
    Never once a girl I've seen
    Yearning for a sky in green
    And in pearls...

    I've met so many girls along
    Soft and tender, rough and strong,
    Never met that special one
    Blending stars to moon to sun
    To a song...

    I've met so many for a while,
    Sweet of eye and sharp of style,
    Never one was selling whole
    Life and body, heart and soul
    For a smile...

    Spring has passed,
    And summer's flown,
    Autumn's here,
    I'm still alone,
    Yet before harsh winter knocks
    And my port forever docks,
    All I wish
    Is meet the girl
    Yearning skies in green and pearl,
    All I wish
    Is run along
    While she blends all life in song,
    All I wish
    Is dying while
    Life she feeds me, for a smile...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Short Encounter...

    Grey weeping clouds,
    Green sparkling grass,
    Black tinge of storm,
    Red shards of glass,
    Forgotten world,
    Deserted will,
    Sweet promise kept,
    Deep searing feel,
    The tangled hair,
    The heaving chest,
    The ruby cheek,
    The pallid breast,
    Half blue half closed
    Your pretty eyes,
    Half red half soft
    Your mouth’s sweet spice,
    A broken nail,
    A piece of lace,
    A missing shoe,
    A spilling case,
    Lips touching four,
    Hands holding two,
    Tears flowing ten,
    One “I love you...”...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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The Five Seasons Of Love...

    Laughter.
    So gay. With hope. From the heart.

    A sweet teen again,
    No cloud in your sky,
    The bells in your voice,
    The spark in your eye.

    Joy.
    So intense. With thirst. From the heart.

    The world in your hand,
    A summer day's bliss,
    The nightingale’s song
    At sun’s early kiss.

    Love.
    So warm. With abandon. From the heart.

    In the opening fist,
    In the red rush of blood,
    In the whisper unheard,
    In the flowering bud.

    Pain.
    So sudden. With despair. From the heart.

    The shiver of night,
    The sharpness of sword,
    The shatter of dream,
    That cruel last word.

    Forgiveness.
    So true. With emotion. From the heart.

    The caressing touch,
    The throb in the chest,
    The “never again”.
    Yes. The ultimate test.

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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Senses...

    Your skin caressed my fingertips,
    You moved it slowly,
    Testing each fingerprint line,
    Each circle,
    Reopening each tiny scar and tasting the blood rivulets,
    Testing the strength of each fingernail,
    Of each finger,
    Of the palm as it cupped handfuls of skin and tried to break its surface...

    Your body curves regarded my eyesight,
    You undressed it slowly,
    Watching the irises contracting as the whiteness hit them
    Moving the soft shapes in and out the eyes field of vision
    All the time watching the flurry of the eyelids,
    Tasting the salt traces purging the depths of the dark lakes
    And flowing down the stained cheeks
    Till they hit the sizzling heights of the strawberry tipped mounds of flesh...

    Your sighs listened to my hearing,
    You moaned slowly,
    Softly,
    Listening to the eardrums straining in their effort to catch up with the chimes,
    Trying their sensitivity to tiny convulsions of tongue,
    Of throaty purrs,
    Playing with their imagination and watching intently my body reacting,
    Tiny sounds, words, single notes,
    Straining to hear if the random events cumulate to one single glorious melody...

    Your body cells absorbing my effort to sense you,
    Absorbing my nostrils' widening move,
    Tickling the tiny hair roots with devastating fragrances
    Scenting their abandon to a despairing need,
    A search for the overwhelming evidence of lust
    Driving the absorbing cells into a frenzy of stretching, squirming, yawning,
    You released your scents slowly,
    Guarding the secret,
    Knowing to blend the flowers with the sweat with the setting sun...

    Your salty skin tasting my lips, my mouth, my tongue,
    Your sweat pouring slowly,
    Comparing the taste of my mouth to the taste of your sweetness
    As earlier eaten cherries transpired into the world through tiny water drops
    And landed on my upper lip,
    Slowly running down into my mouth and taking short sips,
    Mixing my mouth's flavours with yours
    And ensuring the composition is sweet as no honey can ever be...

Forgotten Sweet, Forgotten Bitter...

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